I am a cuddly, kinky, creative woman looking for a long-term loving relationship with an intelligent, emotionally aware and supportive, dominant man.
I live on the East coast, but am planning to move to the Bay area this summer.
I make a kick-ass partner if I do so say so myself: I'm loving and loyal, an interesting and interested conversational partner, and a great giver of body rubs (have my massage license although not professionally practising), among other things.
But I also have one attribute that is often considered a drawback that I want to get out of the way upfront: I'm a fat chick. While I am actively working on eating better and exercising more (and would welcome someone who wants to participate in that with me), I don't have a goal of being thin and will do better with someone who accepts or even prefers an unthin woman.
Sexually, I am most interested in the D/s aspect of BDSM. I'm willing to try almost anything with someone I trust, but many of the activities on the fetish checklist do nothing for me in and of themselves. I'm not into pain for pain's sake, or bondage for bondage's sake. It's almost irrelevant to me what implements come into play. What's sexy to me is feeling overwhelmed by a superior male force. Dominated, used, even humiliated in our private lives. I also have an abiding interest in being "raped" or forced and then cuddled afterwards :-)
Some of my other pleasures in life include deep philosophical conversations, creative pursuits such as photography and writing, travel to natural spaces that are as human-free as possible (e.g. Olympic Peninsula, Burning Man playa off-season), and interacting with animals (especially parrots--my Indian name is "Dances with Parrots" because I dance with my mother's Severe Macaw).
While I'm quite submissive sexually, I'm not sure that I would be into submission outside the sexual realm. I enjoy taking care of my partner in the traditional sense. And sometimes I think I might benefit from the sort of structure and guidance that some Dom men mythically provide (though I've not yet seen this in real life). But to start, let's just say I'm more of a "bottom" than a submissive, and definitely not a slave.
I am looking for a monogamous relationship, or possibly a very clearly primary poly relationship. I need to be most important to and most emotionally bonded with my partner. My needs must come before any other woman's without question, just as I will place my partner's needs above anyone else's. If after we've been together a while, my partner feels sexually restless and wants a brief "fling", and does it in a way that is honest and respects my feelings, I can accept that. What I can't accept is the feeling that I am constantly in competition with other women for emotional scraps or validation, and this is how I have felt when I have practiced orthodox poly--undervalued and stressed out. The person who will be right for me will want to lavish as much attention and affection on me as I do on him, and will want to focus on cherishing and deepening our relationship rather than continually looking for greener grass.
I actually do understand the viewpoint of poly folks who think that we should not limit love, but this is the way I function emotionally. I know myself well enough to know it's not going to change, and to honor it.
I'm steadfastly straight so if it's important to you, as it seems to be to a significant number or men on here, to find a partner who would be open to playing with other women, then we're not a match.
I realize I've talked mostly about me in this profile, and not so much about the person I seek. I do have an idea of the traits he'd possess, but I want to leave it fairly general for now, both because it gives less for the fakers to pretend to be, and because I am open to the surprise of finding that I am attracted to someone who may not have fit my mental image of an ideal partner.
If you think we might have potential to explore, drop me a line with the code phrase "cuddle rape" in it so I know it's not spam.
Please be aware that if you write to suggest that we might be compatible and I don't think we are, I normally do not respond. This is not to be taken as a personal insult. I invite anyone who thinks this is "rude" to take the time to look at it from the perspective of submissive women on this site. We receive too many messages to respond to all of them. And most of the time, if we offer a polite "no thanks", that simply leads to additional messages arguing with our decision or cussing us out, further cluttering up our inboxes.
I see a lot of laundry lists on CM of what a potential partner "must not be" (married, a smoker, shorter than 6', etc.). While I understand the temptation to write such lists, I thought it would be nicer to end with a list of "can be"s--traits that I accept in a date/mate that are deal-breakers to many:
* You can be modestly endowed--financially :-). I don't care that much about material possessions, and in fact am interested in living more frugally and simply.
* You can be significantly older than me. I'm open to younger too, though that may take more convincing.
* You can be non-tall. I really don't understand all the hatred I see directed towards short guys on female personals.
* You can be less than "well-educated", formally speaking. I am very interested in sharing ideas, but some of those whose minds I've found most interesting have no degrees.
That's it. Happy hunting and hope to hear from those of you who feel a kinship with me based on what you've read here.
