| You DO NOT have to send me anything to have me consider you. However, some have asked for my wish list, so here is a "Flowers, Chocolate, and Stockings" version. Feel free to send gift cards too! http://www.amazon.com/wishlist/3ICD422MKMDZT/ref=cm_sw_em_r_n_ws_3v.Jnb1AW2ESF_wb
***First things first***
I must see a photo of you. I've had guys ask if I want to see a photo; if you are asking, consider that I have already said yes. I don't mean a picture of your ass, or your cock, I want to see your face. If you are truly interested in attracting a woman, learn what THEY want. Believe me, one of our biggest pet peeves is cock pics.
Now, a nice, artfully posed shot of you getting out of the shower is always appreciated. If you already have a nice, artfully posed photo of you getting out of the shower on your profile, and I perved it, you now know why I was there!
I am really a blonde, and yes, that photo is really me, taken in July of last year. It's a good picture, which is why I use it, though I do try to look as nice all the time. No sweat pants in my wardrobe! In truth, I look like hell when I first get up, unless I'm looking like a sleepy, blonde kitten, which isn't so bad.
One liners like "Wanna chat?" or, "Beautiful pic" are treated with the respect they deserve. :P Seriously, you may have only one chance to get my attention, make it a good one, OK? If you have read my profile, and feel that you would fit in, then by all means, write. I try to respond to everyone who has made an effort to address what I've put in my profile.
Age: Preferably 35 to 55. No one under 30, and if you are stone-cold gorgeous and fit but over 55, I might consider you. Please remember that beauty is in the eye of this beholder. Hint: I don't find George Clooney to be attractive. I know, I'm strange.
Attention Wankers!: You know who you are, you are the fellows who only want to waste my time so you can get off using me in your fantasy before your wife gets home from her book club. Please don't bother, OK? Just go watch some BDSM Porn, and save both of us some time.
Piggies: Again, you know who you are. Slightly different from the Wankers, you write to Dommes offering to lay all of your worldly goods at our feet...but really, you only want to try to control women through your money. If you REALLY want to give me everything, be prepared to send me a ticket so I can come in person and clean you out. What's that? I'm too bossy? How dare I presume?
See what I mean? just another form of Wankerism.
Speaking of which, I do not cam or chat, and I do not do Yahoo. If I decide to speak to you further, it will be here until I decide to move it elsewhere.
Now that we have made all of that clear...
My Secret Fantasy is to have two men at one time...one cooking, one cleaning!
Seriously, I would like to find two intelligent, reasonably attractive men to share this life of mine. I'm on an amazing personal journey right now, and I'd love to have the right people to share it with. You should be willing and able to travel, good at organizing and keeping things tidy, and very open-minded about the world in general.
I've been wealthy, and I have been poor. I'm OK with either one, though being poor certainly makes you more clever, doesn't it? I believe in paying cash or doing without; credit cards should only be used for great emergencies. I insist upon someone who can contribute his fair share to the household, as I have no need for someone who just wants a free ride.
My home is large, comfortable, and requires a fuckload of upkeep. Most 106 year old homes do. So being handy, and good at housekeeping is pretty essential. If you are not handy or good at housekeeping, being able to hire someone to do so is acceptable. It will just give you more time to do my pedicure.
I am adaptable, as is my lifestyle. There are only a few things that I insist upon, and that is remembering that I really am the person who is going to lay down the law, and it is my way or the highway. As my family once said, "If Mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!". I wept for days thinking about how all of that money for their education was so poorly used.
I like happy, cheerful people with a great (and slightly warped) sense of humor. I want people to do things for me because they can't imagine NOT doing them, and because they want to make me happy. Even though I am exceedingly sensitive to people and their emotions, I AM NOT A FUCKING MINDREADER. Got that? If there is something wrong, tell me. I hate it when folks get passive-aggressive, and I will kick you to the curb if you do it. (Don't know what it is? Look it up)
You have to like cats; very, very much. Often, it is the love of cats that is the only thing keeping you from strangling the little children of Bast that live in my home. There is a large yard with room for a dog; I like dogs because they keep the deer out of my yard at night. If you have a dog, he has to like cats...and NOT as kitty treats.
If you are into self-improvement, both physically and spiritually, that's a plus. If you like to garden, and would love to put in an organic kitchen garden for next year, that's even better, there is plenty of room for one.
Do Taoism, Zen, and other forms of self-discovery resonate with you? Are you OK with living in a home that DOES have non-harmful spirits (ghosts) in it? Do you like 'living history'? Most importantly, is Karaoke a hard limit? I am a Diva, and I like company when I go out. If you can't abide karaoke, run...run far away right now.
There you have it. That should be enough information to make a good decision as to whether we would be compatible. If you write to me and I agree that there is something there, please be ready and able to travel here to be interviewed within a short time. If you can't travel at this time, then be prepared to pay for my travel expenses so I can come to where you are.
Piggies, if you are still there and you REALLY just HAVE to give me all of your money, feel free to write, but be prepared to send me tribute immediately; I'll give you my Amazon wishlist. If I have to put up with your nonsense, then I WILL insist upon being paid for my time.
If anyone else just wants to be nice and send me a gift for my birthday (which is coming up soon), or Christmas, or Valentines Day, or any other general reason, then let me know! I like getting prezzies! But you don't have to buy my friendship, that's something which has no price. |
