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My life is so much bigger than a personals site. I am often to be found in the real world engaging real people in vibrant conversation and exploration. I play with my partner and sometimes with friends, but you shouldn't be a stranger if my leather hits your skin.
My amazingly complex life is full, but in a good way. I'm just too darned busy to be really looking.
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My preference in a secondary is someone who is softer, submissive, loves to spend time with others, and has experience with poly dynamics. I'm open to male or female, but no jealousy allowed. A desire for emotional as well as physical connection is a must, and kink of course is key. Be highly aware of safety issues including STD's and any personal limitations you have, so we can discuss them. All risks should be understood risks.
And now, a definition. When I say submissive, to me that is a person who may choose to submit in the bedroom or dungeon, but does not want power exchange outside of those areas most of the time. When I say slave, to me that is a person who wishes to yield authority on an ongoing, real life, 24/7 basis. This is with the understanding that in crisis, when out of reach,and in routine matters not requiring an 'executive decision' the slave continues to function.
I enjoy both types, though it is best to be clear on where you prefer to be between the two.
I am not into a power struggle. Rather I seek sought and have FOUND, the one who falls into my arms with the surrender he would give no other. I am lucky to have romance in my embrace of him and in his adoration of me.
I am not afraid to hurt a man, to leave marks that last, to elicit uncontrolled noises or push limits. I am also not afraid to hold a man, to care for him, guide him, and to love him. These things are not mutually exclusive.
Underpromise and Overperform
Power exchange is one of my strongest fetishes, but it does not exist in a vacuum. I will treat my partner with respect and always seek to know their needs and wants. Once I am comfortable in my knowledge of their need for D/s, how deep it runs, and how it is best applied to them, I will be more likely to simply 'take'. But in the beginning, I will *ask*. If you are comfortable with your submissive nature, you should feel free to 'assert' it by offering to assist me with things that are within your comfort zone. A word of warning however: Never offer more than you can afford to me of your time, energy, etc, and expect to hold me accountable for it. I am Dominant, not psychic.
I have suffered physical pain and hardship, and overcome it. I have lost forty plus pounds of unhealthy weight (with more to go). I have had an accident that lead to ankle reconstruction and back surgery. And I’m proud to say I have recovered from these life altering injuries with a greater appreciation for what matters to me. The little things count – sleeping in on a Saturday morning, doing yard work on a Sunday all day long together, and then falling into bed exhausted knowing that the blood sweat and tears were spent together in building something greater than a single person. Of course a weekend trip to a fetish event and sleep deprivation born of all night play is also high on my list of satisfying quality time.
I work hard to understand myself. I say what I mean, and mean what I say. I will always strive to resolve a problem, not to let it fester. If I’m aware of it, I try to fix it. If ever you decide that you’re done with me, that you’d like to move on, its best you tell me. If you share the problems and don’t want me to fix them, you’re in for a rough ride. I’ll work very hard to bridge the gaps and make it work. My nature is to seek balance, connection, and mutual happiness. If you feel that I am not for you, let me know so I can move on.
You might notice I have not spent a great deal of time in this profile explaining my fetish interests. If you read my fetish list, my journals, and get to know me, you will hear about them. With a reasonable list of 'limits' excepted, I am a widely experienced Domme/Top who can accommodate most bottom/subs/slaves needs. I do not participate in potty play, chemical impairment in scene, exposed public play, or non-consenting parties.
Beyond this is a world of possibility. Inquire within.
My glove website is up! www.TotemX.com
Things I have tried and would do again that have nothing to do with kink:
mead making
gold panning
walking outdoors
fly fishing
geocaching
autocross
TSD rallies
horseback riding
karate
critter raising (rabbits, chickens, lamb)
jazz trombone
singing (classical, chamber, folk)
experimental cooking
gardening
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