Just please be extraordinary, okay?
If you're wondering whether you and I might eventually...
All sorts of sensual, emotional, intellectual and social pleasures are important to me and to my relationships. Tastes, textures, sounds, smells and seasons get my attention. Ideas and action, language and laughter loom large.
I live in little country house with some elbow room. I spend time in the city for what it has to offer. I'm a Dad and this fact is terrifically important to me.
I have a pulse and a job and no freakazoid ex's.
But you're reading this on CollarMe rather than eHarmony, which is of course no accident. I'm not interested in a conventional relationship. Haven't been for quite a while. Among other things, I'm a Sadist..
The pain experience-- I.e. my offering, my partner's acceptance, and the whole interaction as a thing-in-itself --can be aimed at catharsis, exploration, aesthetic expression or (my) amusement, for starters. Would you like to add to that list?
As for *your* kink, I'm interested in surrender, service and suffering; these in an often delightful, often challenging, dynamic balance which can't be predicted or pre-determined. We'll have to discover this balance, together. Since it is to be found in the unique and private territory between you and I, cookie cutter-ish expectations are a hard limit.
As it happens I may be willing to go further than some other people with the psychological and emotional stuff. That said, if you're looking to play a role in an continuous horror movie I'm sure to disappoint you.
I'm not in a hurry to ramp up a new relationship, but go ahead and say hello if you feel like it. I try to remain open to that thrust of grace Cockburn sings about. As the skeptical epistemologists say: "You never know."
I won't be wowed by your experience or necessarily put off by your lack of it. I'd like to be impressed by your instinct and heart. I invite your insightful questions and answers and your sense of humor.
Note well: as visceral and sensual as BDSM can be, it is inevitably spiritual for me, as well.
So say Hi if you want to but maybe this isn't really the tree you want to bark up.
This is especially likely if you:
Haven't read a book lately (Rowling, Rand or Rice will only get you half a point.)
Don't have other interests at least as compelling as your interest in kink.
Lack healthy boundaries and think finding them is less important than finding your One
Don't have some friends at least as wonderful as mine
... and at least as many friendships off line as on
Are not aware of your spiritual life
Don't get at least some of my jokes
Cannot graciously accept a compliment
Lack manners generally
Begin your profile text with a complaint
Whine or wheedle, in any setting
Have no appreciation for ritual, or poetry
Always need to know why
Always have to do it right
Are too hip
Are not hip enough
Have it all figured out
Don't have jack-shit figured out
Belong to the Keystone Kops division of the BDSM safety police
Presume that anyone with a kink you don't share is acting out of pathological need
Can't or won't talk about what's bothering you
Can't or won't shut up about what's bothering you
Carelessly rely on sarcasm or irony; surgical applications in acute cases are something else
Are drenched in ink
Assume that I am being sarcastic or ironic before considering for a moment that I might sincerely intend some of the wacky shit I say
Do T/this
Have minor kids regarding whom you are not both pleased and proud ... (if they happen to be in a situation or phase which doesn't evoke much pleasure or pride, I hope you're still loving them the best way you know how, however tough it may be)
Do the Harley thing, or the Hilfiger thing: same difference (riding is fine; I have motorcycles)
Want a primary relationship which can be adequately described in economic terms
Don't learn
Can't teach
Can't forgive or fully accept forgiveness
Can't be ready to go in about fifteen minutes, without necessarily knowing where to
Fold early
Lie
Break promises
We'll probably get along better if you do well and enjoy at least half of the things on this list:
dancing or singing; cooking or wrenching (or something else which requires a good set of g-rated tools); needlework; housekeeping; playing and or writing music; growing things; making art; massage; skiing; skanking; sailing; shooting.
... and I hope you'll have other areas of mastery which you find fulfilling.
More about me?
Just ask. I may demur politely but if you strike me as sincere, open-hearted, down to earth, gorgeous inside and fun ... well I suppose we can correspond.
I'm physically strong and I like to teach and learn. I thrive with robust collaboration when the kink is dialed down just as I do when it is dialed up. I'm glad that there is still room in the world for Father Knows Best and I appreciate that this gets its best traction if Daddy can tell when his little bit of stuff is talking sense to power.
As for particular kinks, limits and experience, parading lists of them doesn't appeal to me. And anyway, even though I always lead on the dance floor, the nature and energy of my partner has a lot to do with the step I'll choose and the direction I'll take.
I'm more experienced than a lot of people, less experienced than a lot of others. I'm not a scene-ster and don't anticipate a lot of that kind of involvement, though I have no general lack of respect for people who find what they want there.
You should know that for me the kinky activity is a means as well as an end. A means to what? In general my depravities take/make their meaning in terms of intimacy and trust within a larger context of ...
... well, maybe after we're introduced.
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