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Not Looking
I happily belong to FirmhandKY.
My profile remains below only as a description of my philosophy for those in the forums who wish to understand me a bit better.
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I am an intelligent and vibrant woman who isn't afraid to be feminine, soft and gentle. Though outwardly self-assured and independent, I am incomplete. Inside me is a desire to be cherished and nurtured. I long for the kind of man who will challenge and excite me... a man I can adore and care for with my whole being. One with the strength of character to have expectations of me, and insist they be met, not with cold indifference, but with loving encouragement. A man I can truly look up to.
I do know who I am and what I need. I understand and respect that my vision is not shared by all within this lifestyle, so please do not condemn me for having my own mind.
To me, D/s isn’t about rules for behavior... it isn’t about scenes or playing games... it isn’t about rituals and postures... it isn’t about pushing boundaries, kinky sex or living a lifestyle. A D/s relationship may include aspects of any or all of those things, but they are adopted out of the desire to titillate, heighten experiences, or maintain mindset.
The true heart of D/s is about giving. Each partner supplying what is needed to complete the other. It is a symbiotic relationship, plain and simple... the desire to be fulfilled and to fulfill the other borne out of mutual admiration, respect and trust. Each person reaping the benefits in whatever form they take.
A D/s relationship is not casual… it is intense, adventurous, exciting and passionate. It requires time, commitment and work for both parties and must be carefully built. It isn’t something that can be planned for the future, the foundation starts from day one.
My submission is not a gift... I do not carry it around with me to hand out spontaneously. It is inspired when a man proves though his words and actions that he is worthy of my deferral; like trust, it is earned and can be broken just the same. This means that complete honesty is crucial... not just from me, but on both sides. How can I truly trust and submit to a man that I do not know? And just how much value would you place on deference that isn't really for you but instead some fiction?
The man that I seek would be worthy of my adoration... a man happy with his life, living in the present but ever hopeful for the future. His word would always be true, not making promises lightly nor bandying about his words carelessly. Honor and duty have true meaning to him, and he takes his responsibilities seriously.
He would revel in the devotion and attention given to him, knowing that his acknowledgement and joyous acceptance is giving just as much pleasure in return. He understands that my submission springs from the love I feel for him and its growth is dependent upon my knowing that he is pleased. He would take great pride in his ability to guide and direct the relationship for the enjoyment of both.
Though perhaps demanding in his expectations, he would understand that we cannot live in a fantasy. He would recognize that he is the pillar of existence for another and that his actions and requirements need to be firmly based in reality and backed up with wisdom. He would always be aware that in dealing with his submissive that he is handling the very thing he finds attractive and would take great care to cherish and protect that openness and vulnerability.
He knows that a truly powerful man isn't someone who orders about a willing woman for kicks. He understands that being powerful is a part of his personality that shows through in everything he says and does. Not by bullying or intimidation, but by his mere presence and conviction.
His desire would be to find one to compliment him. A woman of grace who would look up to him and cherish his care. Not a doormat or occasional plaything, but a whole woman who would devote herself to giving only the best of herself to him as companion, friend and lover... being for him what he needs most at any given time.
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