i am sissy slave jennifer. collared & own

6/7/2008 11:41:40 AM: Mistress Rita is having me invite other subs/slaves to come over and play with U/us on any Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday, between the hours of noon & 4 pm. if interested and available during these times, please send me a message with pic included. look forward to meeting some new playmates soon.....slave jennifer.
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5/3/2008 8:15:43 AM: i sit here stripped, collared, in restraints with my cock hard as Mistress ordered. i am to write my journal now as Mistress is just a little disappointed that i failed to do so the past two weeks. She has some understanding that W/we have had problems with the computer, but that should not have prevented me from my assignment for that long. i am sorry Mistress Rita. i hope this entry will please You. i came home from work last week and saw that Mistress had Her friend Lori over. the Ladies were sitting at the dining room table when i walked in. i greeted Mistress as i always do and presented myself to Her. Mistress welcomed me home, ordered me to strip, bring Her my restraints & collar as i normally would. after Mistress placed Her collar around my neck, She ordered me to complete my chores and return to Her then. after completing my chores, i presented myself on my knees for Mistress and reported to Her that all my chores had been completed, as i do everyday. Mistress said "very good my lil sissy slave. now you will amuse Me & My guest. pull up a chair and stand between us. amuse Us slut! play with my toy for Us". i obeyed and began to play with my cock for Mistress and Her friend as they continued their conversation. Mistress would look up on occassion warning me to keep my eyes lowered and my free hand behind my back. i was also warned that Her toy was to stay big and hard. i obeyed, focusing on amusing Mistress and Her friend by playing with my cock and keeping it hard for them. Mistress and Lori then turned their conversation on to what Mistress had planned for me at camp. how She was going to be sure that i live up to my camp name of "sissy slut jennifer". She shared with Her friend on how She was going to make me available to any men or women who wanted to use me as Her slut. She laughed that i was going to be so worn out after the first day if She has it Her way, and of course, She always does have it Her way. i i will be sucking dick, eating ass & pussy, and geting my ass fucked by both men & women. Mistress made it clear to Lori, that i will be a very good sissy slut for Her at camp. after about a half hour of amusing them and holding back my Mistress Rita's cum, she ordered me to go and get a plate and place it on the table between them. then i returned to standing on the chair in front of it. Mistress ordered me to cum immediately and to thank Her for the privilege of doing so for Her & Her friend. She also warned me that if even one drop missed the plate, i would be punished by paddling immediately. i screamed, thanking Mistress Rita over and over again, thanking Her for allowing me to cum for Her and for allowing me to entertain and amuse Her and Her friend. and yes, every drop landed on the plate. Mistress was satisfied and ordered me on my knees and to lick & swallow my cum clean off the plate, and i did with pleasure knowing that i pleased Mistress Rita and Her guest. on my day off last week Mistress ordered me to strip and meet Her in the shower. when i got to the shower Mistress ordered me in and had me bathe her. i was thrilled & honored to wash Mistress's entire body. Mistress was very pleased with how i did. then i was ordered to turn around and face the wall, with hands above my head. then Mistress washed this humble sissy slave from head to toe and inside and out. Mistress then orderd me to bend over with my legs spread apart with my hands against the wall. suddenly i felt Mistress Rita's beautiful hands stroking my very hard cock and then squeezing my very sensitive balls. Mistress reminded me over and over that i was Her slave, that She owned me, and that She owns all of Me. "This is My cock, My Balls !" she said sternly as She continued to stroke and squeeze. i was now screaming "yes Mistress Rita, thank You Mistress". She continued to remind me that i exist for Her, and for Her only! for Her pleasure & amusement. i understood, thanking Her for owning this little sissy. she again told me "that She will use me, all of me, however She desired!" then i felt her begin to probe my hole with Her finger. i began to melt knowing that Mistress was about to finger fuck me. abruptly, Mistress shoved Her finger in my ass, telling me that my ass belongs to Her and She will do what She pleases with it. then She said, "maybe i'll just fuck you now slut. would you like that slut?" i began to cry like the little sissy i am, pleading & begging Mistress, "please fuck me Mistress Rita, please fuck me like the little slut i am, please Mistress, please. then as Mistress stroked my cock fast and furious with one hand, she fucked my ass with the other. i was screaming "thank you Mistress, thank you for fucking my ass." then Mistress ordered me to cum for Her now as i did screaming at the top of my lungs. i dropped to my hands & knees in the tub totally delerious from what Mistress just did to me. Mistress sent me to my bed to recover. Mistress then said to me, it's time to get that ass ready for the real thing very soon if you are to truly to be my slut . i said, "yes Mistress" and thanked Her for owning me and for turning me into Her sissy slut slave. also this week, on one occassion, i was not such a good girl for Mistress. each morning when i leave for work, i am to ensure that all our kittens are clear of the lower floor before setting the security alarm and leaving for work. well, lets just say that i missed a kitten or two, and when i left, the alarm was triggered by them, waking Mistress. also waking mistress was the alarm company and the police department. Mistress called me at work and advised me of my mistake and that i knew what i could expect tonight. i got more than what i expected. when i arrived home i was ordered to strip and bring my punishment paddle to Mistress after i completed all of my chores. i presented myself to Mistress with paddle in hand. she took it from me and ordered me across Her knee. Mistress asked me if i know why i was about to be punished by paddling. i answered "yes Mistress", giving Her a complete confession of my mistake, as Mistress always has me do just before i receive my punishment. then Mistress began what would be a very severe and long lasting paddling. there was no warm up. no breaks between cracks. just one hard smack after the other without pause. when Mistress did pause i thought it was over. then Mistress reiterated how important it is for me to never, ever repeat the same mistake again. then the paddling resumed, even harder and longer than the first round. i was crying, telling Mistress how sorry i was. i even recall telling Mistress, " i'm so sorry Mistress, i promise never to do it again. i promise to be a good girl from now on". i was truly crying like a little sissy girl as Mistress Rita beat my little hiney thoroughly. after She stopped, again i thought She was through. Mistress simply said, "this is not over" as She began another round on my very sore hiney. then Mistress sent me to my room. i was to write Her a story for Her amusement and not to leave my room the rest of the day. when Mistress came to lock me in at bedtime, she asked if i completed my assignment. i handed it to Her and said "yes Mistress, i hope you will be pleased with it". then i was ordered  to turn over and was told that i will be paddled one last time for being a bad girl. i was wearing my little girl pajamas and panties, as i do every night. Mistress began to paddle me hard as i lay face down on the bed with my ass propped in the air by a pillow. Mistress chuckled saying, " i'll bet your pj's & panties aren't padding this paddling too much". i said, "no Mistress". then Mistress yanked my pajama bottoms, then panties down, exposing an all ready brite red hiney. then Mistress gave me one last round of paddling. She paddled me long and hard, warning me the entire time that this will not happen again. i was crying, tears rolling down my face. Mistress stopped, pulled my panties & bottoms up, and ordered me to roll back over. i was crying and told Mistress how bad my hiney was now hurting. She simply said, "it's supposed to hurt, now isn't it! it will be worse if this happens again. She then kissed me good night and said " i love you lil one, but you were a bad girl today and i am not pleased with your behavoir. i'd highly advise you to wake up better focused on your Mistress tomorrow". i responded, "yes Mistress, i promise. i love You Mistress Rita. thank You Mistress for owning me". i also promise Mistress not to miss another assignment. i promise my journal entry will be completed each & every Sunday. i love You and i give You my body, mind, & spirit. i am Yours, to do with as You please, always & unconditionally!
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4/16/2008 12:30:05 PM: hi there. Mistress Rita's sissy slave jennifer just sitting down to write in my journal today. wow...what a terrific weekend W/we just had. Mistress took me to the Kalahari water park where W/we played in the water and up in the beautiful Hotel suite Mistress rented for Her monthly play party. W/we were there along with 15 others from O/ur group. it all started friday afternoon as we drove up after work. after settling in O/our suite, Mistress took me to the water park and took me on all the fantastic water rides and slides. i think Mistress would agree that the wave pool and the lazy river rides were the most fun for U/us, although the slides were fantastic as well. only problem with those, were all the steps. but what a fantastic place this was. it was huge and the suite was great. all of Mistress Rita's guests had arrived by the time the park had closed at 10 and it was time to get down to some serious playtime in the rooms. Mistress had picked out a pretty blue nitie along with pretty blue panties for me to wear, as i assited Mistress in hosting Her party. there were six beds and everytime i looked around, there was some type of play going on on all of them. from floggings to needle play, most everyone was enjoying the opportunity to get naked and play. Mistress and some of the others also made a fantastic dinner which we all enjoyed in between playing. it was also a nice time to just relax and enjoy a great weekend socializing with members of Mistress Rita's group. i was also on my best behavoir and ensuring that i remained attentive to Mistress Rita and anticipating all Her needs, as She hosted this wonderful event. when we were all exhausted, it was time for bed. my bed, of course, was on the floor next to the bed where my beautiful Mistress slept. She made sure i was tucked in, comfortable & warm, and before She closed Her eyes to sleep, She asked me..."Who owns you lil one?" i, feeling loved & cared for said "You do Mistress Rita, You & only You do". then i fell fast asleep below my Mistress Rita. when morning came, some of the others were making breakfast as we showered and got ready to go play at the waterpark. so we ate a huge breafast, then most of us went down to the waterpark. Mistress Rita again treated Her slave to a fantastic time playing in the water and riding the tubes down the water slides. before W/we headed back to the suite, Mistress took us over to a huge hot tub for adults only, that actually had a full bar built right into the hot tub. it was actually a very large pool with built in benches, stools, water falls, and tables and it ran from the indoors to the outdoors. Mistress and Her friends got some very fancy drinks and W/we made O/our way out to the outside section of the pool. Mistress had me sit next to Her of course. Mistress was enjoying the whirlpool jets very much. so much that She had positioned Herself in front of one of the jets as She pleasured Herself with it and had one hell of an orgasm. then she reached down and pulled my cock out. Mistress explained to the girl sitting on the otherside of me that she hadn't seen much of Her toy in the past month, as She had to cage it in chastity as a punishment for being a bad boy. as Mistress explained in detail, i lowered my head in shame, as i was ashamed and embarassed that i had displeased Mistress. but as she continued to speak with Her guest and play with my cock, i had become rock hard and came completely free from my bathing suit. she warned me not to even think about cuming as she was playing with HER toy for Her amusement, as that is the only reason for me to have a cock. it is Hers, not mine. Mistress also explained that my behavoir has greatly improved in the past month and i, as Her sissy slave jennifer, have been a very good girl lately. Mistress then decided that we should call it a day at the park and head back to the suite for dinner. i said to Mistress that i was not able to leave at that moment as Her toy was still too big & hard to fit in to my suit. Mistress just looked at me and i knew that i had better focus on losing my erection quickly as She was clearly through playing with it and i had no reason to have an erection anymore. after a minute, or maybe two, i stuffed Her toy, still erect into my suit as we headed out of the pool and back up to the suite. i walked with a very hard dick stuffed in a very tight suit all the way back to the room. there i was told to strip and remain that way. Mistress said to me that there's no reason for you to be wearing anything now. then we ate dinner and play began again for the evening. again, most everyone was playing and enjoying theiri time with Mistress. i was getting a little chilly because most rooms had the air conditioning  units running, so i asked Mistress if i could go sit in the hot tub which was in the suite. she granted me permission and i soaked my little body in the hot bubbling water. ohhh it felt so good & relaxing. several times, others from the group stoped by and told me how cute & comfortable i looked. then Mistress came in and smiled at me. she said "move over jennifer" and then stripped & climed in the tub with Her lil sissy slave. then i was rewarded by enjoying a very nice bath with my dear Mistress as W/we both just relaxed. then Mistress ordered me out of the tub as She was concered that i had been in too long. i was told to just stand in position next the the tub as She would continue to relax and enjoy the hot tub. then Her friend Rachel came in and thought that it would be a really nice idea to join Mistress in the spa. Rachel immediately stripped off her clothes and jumped right in next to Mistress. they relaxed, talked, and bathed one another as i stood in front of them next to the tub and reamined silent. then Mistress calmly said that She would like me to play with my cock for Her and Her quest. i simple reponded "yes Mistress", and with my head lowered, i humbly began to play with my cock for Mistress Rita and for Her guest's amusement. as i stroked my cock for them, i grew hard & large very quickly. Mistress & Rachel continued to talk, glancing at me on occassion. i continued to obey Mistress and maintained a nice erection for Her for quite some time. then their conversation ended as they sat & soaked quietly watching me stroke myself for their amusement. then Mistress reached out and grabbed my cock, pulling me over the edge of the tub. Mistress began a very intense cbt session as i moaned & whimpered like the sissy girl i am. the combination of both pleasure & pain was incredible. i was warned from the begining not to cum, and this took so much focus as i thought i was going to explode as i was playing with it. it had been over a month since i last came for Mistress as i was being punished. i kept my head & eyes lowered, as Mistress continued to stroke and caress my throbbing cock & balls. i could, however see that Rachel was enjoying the show as she was grinning ear to ear. then Mistress ask me something She had not asked in so long. "Would you like to cum for me slave?" "oh yes Mistress, i said. please Mistress, please allow me to cum for You Mistress Rita". "Beg me for it slave", She insisted. I begged and pleaded with Mistress, practically in tears wishing to please Her in this way soooo badly. then Mistress held a plastic cup under my cock and began to count down from 10, 9, 8...."cum for me slave and if you don't by the time i reach 0, you will not cum for another month!" "yes Mistress, thank you Mistress" as i masturbated myself fast & furious for Her. as she reached 5, i screamed thanking Mistress for allowing me to cum for Her and exploded my cum into Her cup. i came and came and came, shooting into the cup and on my hand. Mistress order me down on my knees and to clean off my hand with my tounge. i was told to lick myself clean and swallow. then Mistress handed me the cup and ordered me to drink every ounce of cum in the cup, as i did with pleasure for Mistress. i was told that they were both very pleased and i had amused them both very much. Mistress was very pleased with Her lil slut jennifer, although i had in fact shot some of my cum into there tub, which i would be sorry for. Later that night, Mistress decided it was finally time for my cock, balls, & ass to be shaved. this is something Mistress normally does to me once a week, but as i have been in chastity for most of the past month, that has not happened. in front of some of the other ladies, Mistress first shaved my cock & balls, then had me turn around, bend over & grab my ankles as she began shaving my ass. then she ordered me to spread my cheeks open wide as she shaved my hole. i felt sooo humbled and a little embarassed as i could feel all of the ladys watching Mistress shave me. then i was told to grab my ankles again. suddenly i felt the sting of Mistress Rita's punishment paddle across my little hiney. one after the other, i tried not to cry out with everyone watching, but i couldn't help it as i truly am a little sissy girl. i cried out each time as Mistress continued to paddle my hiney hard. i heard one of the ladies say to Mistress "that i take it she's no pain slut". then Mistress told me to get up and turn around. She said, "that was for the few drops of cum you shot into my tub". i understood, then was ordered to put on my nice colorful nitie and red panties Mistress picked out for me to wear to bed. play went on till about 1:00am or so then Mistress ordered me to bed. we got up early, packed and had a great brunch and headed home. what a wonderful time i had serving & playing with Mistress this weekend. i hope that you were pleased with me Mistress, and as always, i give you my body, mind, & spirit to own & use however you desire to use me. i will always remain unconditionally devoted, loyal, obedient & faithfull to You, and only to You my dear Mistress Rita. thank You for owning this very fortunate & humble slave. YOUR  sissy slave jennifer 
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4/9/2008 9:38:07 AM: today is sunday and i'm here thinking about a wonderful week i just had as Mistress Rita's sissy slave. it truly is an honor & privilege to be given the opportunity to live with and serve Mistress 24/7/365. i am Her property always and it is the most fullfiling and satisfying feeling to have every aspect of my life under Her complete control. i honestly believe that i was born a submissive and have always needed to have Mistress Rita as my owner. each morning i wake up and know that i exist to serve Her in anyway She desires. to use me in anyway that best serves Her. i am still being punished for what i did several weeks ago, although Mistress did remove the chastity cage from my cock after 15 straight days locked in it. Mistress did leave me at home last night as She went and enjoyed Herself at a local dungeon, and did put me back in chastity, as i still am right now. i am still doing cornertime after chores and still feel the shame of what i did to myself, but more for disrespecting and disappointing Mistress Rita. She has made it clear that She is not completely satisfied that i have been punished nearly enough for what i did, nor have i come even close to completely learning my lesson. for example, just yesterday, i became so overwhelmed at work, that i neglected to mail out some important letters for Her. i came in the house and laid them on the table. when she came home, she was very upset with me. She completely understands that i work very hard and it can be very stressful, but it is also understood that as soon as i walk out work, my focus is to become 100% on serving Mistress Rita. i did not do that. so obviously, i still have much room for improvement. my intense unconditional love for Her in my heart tells me that i am not capeable of failing Her, but my actions and negative behavoir proves that this is far from the case. i so much wish to be the perfect slave for Her, and feel such shame & despair when i fail Her. Mistress is a very strict & demanding owner, but with much compassion, mercy, & forgiveness. i know in my heart that i do not deserve to be owned by Her, yet i am greatful that i am still here wearing Her collar today. i was punished yesterday for two reasons. a continuation of my terrible decision several weeks ago and for failing to mail Her very important letters. i was told to bring both Her wooden paddle and Her rubber paddle. she sat down on the couch. i handed Her both paddles. she called me over, pulled down my panties, and put me over Her knee. She reminded me that i was about to suffer some more for what i had done and for again disappointing Her by not mailing Her letters. immediately Mistress began a very severe paddling with Her wooden paddle. without hesitation or pause, Mistress continued to paddle my hiney as i screamed & cried like the sissy i truly am. i cried and apologized over & over again as i could hardly stand the pain. i tried so hard to just focus and lie still across Mistress's lap and just take my punishment like a man. but i am not a man. i am Her sissy, and i squirmed & cried like the sissy i am. i know how badly that i need to have my hiney beat, but Mistress knows me better than i know myself. with Her compassion & mercy, she ended my paddling as She knew i could not take much more. she ordered me to the corner for 20 minutes. i was not allowed to pull my panties up, so i stood humiliated & with shame in the corner with my pink ruffled panties down around my ankles with my bright red hiney sticking up in the air as Mistress sat and watch me for the next 20 minutes. when my alarm sounded, still whimpering, i asked if my may kneel before you Mistress Rita. Mistress granted me permission and i ran to Her, dropping to my knees. i began to beg Mistress for Her forgiveness as i could not handle it if She was not to forgive me. again, with Her compassion and mercy, Mistress forgave me. She did however, remind me that i will continue to serve my punishment for my offense of several weeks ago. it's been well over a month since i have been given the priviege of masturbating for Her, i continue to do extra chores when i can for Her, cornertime as Mistress feels it necessary, and paddlings, as well, when Mistress feels they are needed. although i know i am forgiven, i have not yet forgiven myself. there's truly no punishment i could receive that would ever be too severe for what i did, with only one exception, and that would be for Her to release me. i am so thankful that She has decided to keep me and that's becuse She desires to own me as Her property, Her slave. when i know i am about to be paddled, i have that anxiety of knowing that i am about to feel an incredible amount of pain, yet i feel so loved & cared for that Mistress feels that i am worthy enough to receive Her discipline. i know that She belives that i am trainable and can continue to improve as Her slave. a slave completely & unconditionally deveoted, loyal, obedient & always faithful to Her and only to Her. as i am taking Her paddling, my body & mind immediately wants Her to stop, as i am a lil sissy who can't take a good spanking without crying. but no matter how severe a punishment i suffer, nothing can ever make up for disappointing and failing my dear Mistress. my words alone can never express the guilt & shame i feel for not being the good slave, the good girl, that i wish to be for Mistress Rita. but as long as Mistress continues to have that compassion in Her heart for this lil sissy, She will be able to have the patience to give me that chance to continue to grow and learn from my mistakes, and therefore, better serve Her as i only wish to do. i am a very real slave who truly worships & honors this most beautiful women in which i have the honor & privilege of calling my owner...my Mistress. i love, honor, and have nothing but the utmost respect and devotion to You Mistress Rita.  
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4/3/2008 11:37:40 AM: Mistress Rita has just brought it to my attention that i already failed to keep my promise to write a jornal entry each and every Sunday. she simply said to me "that i owe Her one". that could simply mean i need to do an entry immediately or perhaps i owe Her an additional punishment. my guess would be both. so today, monday, i am reflecting on this past week in which i was privileged to be owned slave to Mistress Rita. it was a week of making up for my mistakes from the past week in which i am still being punished for. each day after my chores, Mistress sent me to my corner to stand and reflect on my punishment, why i was being punished, and most importantly, to focus on how i will better serve Mistress Rita. after 15 minutes, my alarm would sound and i would respectfully request permission to come to Mistress and present myself to Her on my knees. then Mistress would ask what i thought about and was i learning my lesson from my punishment. i have also remained caged in Mistress Rita's chastity device now for 13 straight days without release for any reason. this has been most dificult and extremely uncomfortable. i have also received several severe unannounced paddlings. i have deserved everything i have received and will continue to receive as Mistress Rita has advised me that my punishment will end, and only end, when She is absolutely satisfied that my punishment has been severe enough for what i did and that She is completely confident that i will not repeat the same offense ever again. also this past week, Mistress has taken my feminization & transformation into sissy slave jennifer to the next level. this week i have been made to practice applying my makeup and picking out my own outfits and sleepwear for Mistress. Mistress has been very pleased with my efforts and has made me feel very pretty and even very sexy. Mistress took many pics of me and even posted them on the camp gallery. this is a website for the bdsm camp we will be attending in May, in which Mistress would not mind having another slave join us as well. Mistress told me that She has even received compliments from some of them on how well She has transformed me into Her sissy slave jennifer. i truly hope to make Mistress proud by living up to my new camp name of sissy slut jennifer. i will do anything, with anyone, on Mistress Rita's orders as i wish only to please, entertain, and of course, amuse Her. that is why i exist for Mistress. i get so excited thinking about what she might have me do for Her while at camp. as Mistress continues to feminize me and make me Her slave jennifer, i have completely been humbled and given everything i have in my body, mind, and spirit to Mistress Rita. Mistress has always owned me, and owned my cock, that i believed made me a man, but now she truly has taken it from me. it's merely attached to me when Mistress choses to use it for Her pleasure or amusement. she has made it clear to me by telling me that jennifer does not have a dick. i am Her good girl now. Her sissy. Her slut when she wishes. but always, Her slave. i truly believe that i can be an even better slave and do better serving Mistress Rita now that She has transformened me into Her sissy slave jennifer. Your slave jennifer promises not to make the same mistakes slave john did and i believe i will do a better job keeping my focus on You my dear Mistress Rita. thank you for wanting to own this humble slave, Mistress.