I’m seeking to meet and serve my soulmate.

10/8/2008 7:25:03 PM: 
Things I've learned:  D/s is about giving up control so she can fell powerful.  And love is the strongest psychological control mechanism there is.

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7/26/2008 12:33:35 AM: 
I live a simple life.  Not a lot of stresses.  Plenty of time to focus on the few friends that matter most.  And I figured one day, someone truly special.  I'm begining to  think what I should do is seek out a small town woman much like myself.  Someone simple, who would like a very attentive man.  Sadly the complexity of the larger city dominate woman far away is extremely complicated to get off the ground.  And I’m not sure that’s me or what I seek anymore.   I’ll likely miss the direction/discipline for a more dominate type, but at least I’ll have someone to take care of.

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5/13/2008 3:25:56 PM: 
Taken from the forums where I just participated: In my opinion, social confidence and self-esteem are separate entities.To me self-esteem is how you view yourself.  Then there is also non-social confidence too. As in say confidence in ones skills & abilities.  Social confidence is your comfort level when interacting with people.They are all inner-related. If people respect, admire, and reward you for your abilities that can build social confidence. If you have pride in yourself then you'll likely be fell more confident around other people. But they can be two entirely different things.  There is a strong correlation between the two, but I've known many socially confident people who have very very low self-esteem.  It is also possible to have high self-esteem perhaps based on qualities that don't include "party animal" who don't perform confidently in public at all.This explains why I detest associating with people bring me down, I lack social confidence so last thing I want is someone poking at my self-esteem  A lot of people put a lot of stock in peoples (social) confidence.   Really it should be on their self-esteem.This in part explains the internal motivation behind why I seek to serve.   And how the psychological control mechanism works on me.
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1/23/2008 10:23:06 AM: 
I guess I should have clarfied my last journal, as  BDSM is multifaceted.My main interest is in the D/S aspects.  My entry was in relation to that.  D/s being more about the "relationship" between a Dominant and submissive.For Me b/d usually depicts the "play/ roleplay" vs D/s being more about the "relationship" between a Dominant and submissive.I see b/d as being practiced for a far greater number of people who do consider themselves more or less vanilla.  D/s is different in that it's a system 
based more on rewards and punishments.  Of course there is some overlap..
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1/11/2008 5:52:59 AM: 
In recent years there has been an influx of pseudo dommes or insta dommes. 
The problem created by this is a royal mess.Many young girls see this as potential money.  Taking simple taking pictures of their feet and calling guys morons, seems to draw tons of guys out of the wood work.  Most of these guys (suckers) I'd venture to guess are only erotically interested.  It's a perceived fetish.  They might find
some validation to being submissive if they are horny.  Either way I'd
venture to guess this relationship doesn't last long before they move on. 
(Maybe they will explore again  in a another couple weeks with another
insta domme)
Believe it or not, there are few guys motivated by adoration and devotion. In
other words they truly do exist to please. Erotic domination is measured by how excited the man is to obey and be controlled. Lifestyle domination is measured
by how much he wants to please his Mistress and make her happy. Those are two different things. But if your knight is submissive, and if you can erotically
dominate him while being caring, the lifestyle domination will follow.
Unfortunately, many of the tricks for erotic domination work against the
lifestyle domination. 
I believe humiliation won't illicit submission from a slave who wants to
serve... slaves and submissives want to feel useful. Or at least I do. (worm
boys, sissysluts, dogboys and so on... might need to be humiliated ...to have
their useless self's pointed out and their uselessness proved.)
Anyhow the problem is finding someone compatible.  Separating the wheat
from he chaff so to speak.  Financial control is usually a key element in a
true D/s power exchange.  But there is now a guilt by association thing
going on here due to the influx described above.  To me, that means that a
new submissive interested in finding and financially supporting the love of his
life- the Domme he longs to find- will type in his interest in a search engine,
and POOF!  Up pops link after link to "princess so & so, bratty
blah blah, and miss needy greedy"-   A male looking for a real
Miss to serve in a serious and lifelong capacity will most likely be turned off
and flee.  Unfulfilled.  Thinking that they don't really exist.  
On the other side of the coin there are now a lot of guys (wankers, wormboys)
drawn to this type of lifestyle, due the influx, this is also a pain the butt
for the True Dommes, so they are flooded with emails and also become discouraged.  
Both sides look for ways to sort and separate the types of people out
there.  Many domme's expect a tribute up front to help fend off some of the
players.  But now many True subs are leery when they read that.
So a full profile with some sort of intelligent explanation to their
philosophy on both sides seems to help this.  Here are some key clues that
I tend to look for.. and an explanation
An indication of getting to know each other personally. A woman that seems to
take true pleasure out of domination, who prefers in person.  She indicates
that they cares about /cherishes their true submissives. A guy who finds
fulfillment in service and serves as a chance to continually prove himself. 
Someone that doesn't come off as an unreasonable person, someone patient, sincere and trustworthy.
Pictures don't really prove anything.  Applications like camtasia and
fakewebcam even dismiss that.  As a matter of fact, a domme might want to
remove their pictures, or just settle on one face shot.  The more pictures,
the more email one seems to get.  Lord help you if they indicate fetish
types of things.  Speaking of which, it's highly advisable that all initial
communications purposely exclude most all discussion of fetish related types of
things.  Players have a high interest in these type of things, and tend to
go away quickly when they are absent. Honest, open communication is key. 
For quicker identification, basically there are two types; those looking to be
visually stimulated, and those looking for some sort of intellectual
depth.  There are those who want something now, and those who want
something long term.