" Proudly collared by Macslittleimp 3-14-08.I am a submissive, not a Dominant. I am not available..."

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 darchChylde

 Submissive Male

 Bellflower 

 California

 6'1"

 215 lbs

 33

 Caucasian

 09/28/06

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Sitting here, I am not quite sure exactly what I'm going to write; so if I hurt anyone with this; I apologize in advance and will also apologize in person.

After losing my wife and daughter in an accident, I effectively separated myself from society. I had people I called friends, but I never allowed anyone close enough to hurt me by their actions or, most especially, their loss.

This lasted for many years, and only within the last couple had I taken any chances with my heart. I made some friends and had a couple of romances, but still I had not let go of my defenses and let anyone all the way in.

This all changed only a couple of months ago in August, I met somebody and within a week she had me open and more vulnerable than I could ever remember. Though the speed in which my feelings for her grew left me often frightened and at times overwhelmed; she made me happier than I thought possible. In her presence and in her arms I feel safer and more at home than I thought possible. 

No matter the love I felt for her and from her very early on, I had tried to keep some emotional distance and not get too attached before I could be as sure as possible that I was willing to take the plunge and let her have the kind of control that comes with admitting to love. Love was a word that I tried to be careful of saying, but somewhere along the line I had realized that I had already been telling her that I loved her. I think the hardest part of the realization was the accompanying thought that I was completely OK with giving her that power over me.

In getting into a relationship with this wonderful woman, I had to accept that I was not the only man in her life; or even the most important man in her life. She was, and is, already married; and he is totally accepting of the relationship that she and I share. In fact, I also feel very close to him and consider him among my best of friends. His judgment I hold above most all others.

As a person who had, in a relationship at least, always considered monogamy as the only way to go; this situation was not all that I had dreamed. I've never truly considered myself a jealous person, and I was happy to find that I did not feel any (well maybe a little, I'm not sure) jealousy towards him. But, nonetheless, it does bring up a relationship dynamic that I had never encountered or thought I would.

Along with these two great people, who both have my love in different ways, there is also another women involved. She is a beautiful and bright young lady who has brightened my life in so many ways I cannot even begin to comprehend; she is my sister and i love her dearly. There are also close friends who came as part of the bargain, men who I care for and respect more than I could imagine.

While there is nothing traditional about this family I have been welcomed into, it is no less a family; and I am ever thankful that I had the opportunity to become a part of it. 

I love these people, and they make up the only family I had known for a third of my life, I swear I will not give any of them up without a fight.