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Journal Entries for LadyHibiscus: |
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1/22/2010 12:54:20 PM |
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Newest pic is of a cell popping (microbrand done with a cautery pen) done by LadyShiloh at Dark Nirvana this past weekend. I have a new addiction!! Dark Nirvana was great, too, I haven't had such a good time in ages. :)Newest pic is of a cell popping (microbrand done with a cautery pen) done by LadyShiloh at Dar
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1/14/2010 6:48:11 AM |
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It's tax season, and while I do not work overtime, it is exhausting for me to work with people all day long. I just don't get out much this time of year, and I honestly don't want to. I will be here checking in--often on my Blackberry, which oddly lets me READ mail, but not respond to it--and on the boards, since I can post via the BB. You'll have a much easier time reaching me on Fet if you want to write, I can respond to emails there. It's tax season, and while I do not work overtime, it is exhausting for me to work with people
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12/27/2009 7:16:59 AM |
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Happy New Year to all, may you have a happy and prosperous year!Happy New Year to all, may you have a happy and pro
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12/19/2009 9:54:19 AM |
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Well, a person on these boards---who I cannot name here, due to TOS---has chosen to out me on Fet Life using my full legal name. {sentence deleted} The Fet people cleaned up the post, but it was up for a bit...He was a frequent guest at Michigan ClubFEM, and he must have gotten my name from old paypal records--not thinking, perhaps, that I would have the same information? I don't expect any ill to come from this, I just want to share my experience as a warning--be VERY careful who you associate with! Well, a person on these boards---who I cannot name here, due to TOS---has chosen to out me on
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12/17/2009 8:46:09 AM |
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I am so thrilled---I have been BANNED from the Reformatory!! Evidently I am some sort of fetish fifth columnist, out to GET them! This makes me laugh, because I have never been banned from anywhere before, but it makes me sad, too, because it means that the owner of the club reallllly can't handle hearing anything negative, OR (in my case) allowing others to speak their minds on one of my Fet Life lists!So, you will not be seeing ME at A2 again, but it IS a good party, with lovely equipment, friendly guests, and lots of ROOM to play as you like! Have fun, everyone!I am so thrilled---I have been BANNED from the Reformatory!! Evidently I am some sort of
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10/31/2009 5:55:01 AM |
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Time for a PSA: if I do not KNOW you via chat or realtime, you will not get added to my friends list. Yes, I really know all those people. My new hobby with the cut and paste emails is reporting them as SPAM! Or scammers, or illegal activity, if that fits the bill. Ladies, I suggest you start doing the same, the more times a mail gets reported, the faster the writer gets pulled. READ MY PROFILE. I try to get the important stuff up front so that you don't waste time with the the long words later on. I am very serious about the NO MARRIED MEN without the wife's permission rule. I also have an incredibly long memory for people. If you stood me up YEARS ago, I will still recall the event, so save your time now. There is ONCE chance with me, ever.Time for a PSA: if I do not KNOW you via chat or realtime, you will not get added to my
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10/23/2009 6:12:09 AM |
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Back from KK... I did get a few hook pull pics, but the rules of the event forbade cameras so none of the actual event. Short story: it was an amazing, intense, emotional experience that I fully intend to do again and again. Perhaps I will even have an endorphin rush some day! I saw some amazing classes, and I will never think of ginger ale in quite the same way again! Back from KK... I did get a few hook pull pics, but the rules of the event forbade camera
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10/14/2009 10:14:36 AM |
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Wicked was lovely, as usual. Excellent food, and lots of fun with my friends. It was suggested that my glow-in-the-dark BOO t-shirt was missing a letter, but I dunno... Wicked was lovely, as usual. Excellent food, and lots of fun with my friends. It w
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10/8/2009 11:28:18 AM |
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Today I feel like changing my profile to a single line: 'Chances are, I'm not looking for you.' It would be true, certainly! :) Too negative, though, right?Today I feel like changing my profile to a single line: 'Chances are, I'm not looking for you.
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9/30/2009 6:12:53 PM |
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It's October, and that means it's been two years since I got back into the scene in an active way. It's been very interesting, and traumatic at times, but I'm glad that I came back out to play. I have mentally let go of the last one 'hopeful' that I wanted to get together with. I suspect we might have had great fun, but if it hasn't happened by now, it isn't going to. I have a wonderful playmate that pleases me very much, and I hope to add a second (male? female?) to complete my family in due course. Just this morning I was sad that I'll be trapped in Michigan and its sad scene for the rest of my life, but this afternoon I went to a wonderful munch with some other fem doms and had a grand time. No matter how much the 'public' scene falls apart, I have my friends and family, and I am deeply grateful for them all! It's October, and that means it's been two years since I got back into the scene in an active
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9/18/2009 4:58:12 AM |
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SO many empty profiles... are we REALLY expected to guess what you are interested in, or launch into 'twenty questions' with every man in our area? Certainly I am going to get to know you---once I know that I WANT to! In the meantime, I have been busily hiding the profiles that I know are not a match. Is there a limit to how many you can hide? I hope not, the married guys alone are taking up plenty of bandwidth!SO many empty profiles... are we REALLY expected to guess what you are interested in, or
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9/12/2009 4:32:32 PM |
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Today was chuckle over profiles day. I especially laughed at the one who poofed on me then wanted to get back in my good graces---he is tired of players! IMAGINE!! I know I am not the picture of cheer in my main profile pic, but honestly, guys--SMILE! Women are attracted to pleasant expressions. If you look sad, grumpy, bored, in the first attempt to show yourself on the net, why would someone want to meet you in person? The WORDS. Listen, guys, facesitting is all well and good, and I appreciate that some of you want to get reamed up the ass or whatever. There is only ONE chance to make a first impression, though, and should that be it? That you are not looking for a woman, you are looking for someone to provide you with a sex act? If sex is all you are looking for, go to the yellow pages 'escorts' section. You can find all you desire there, and I am sure they accept Visa and AMEX. This will save all of us lots of time. This might be an 'adult' site, but those 'real dominas' are into being SERVED, not SERVICED. Today was chuckle over profiles day. I especially laughed at the one who poofed on me th
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9/4/2009 3:37:23 PM |
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My new-to-me Blackberry Curve showed up in the mail, tomorrow is the first session of ceramics class, and in ten days I get a new singletail! Not sure if I will have the energy to slab the big bowl I am planning, or whether I'll be picking glazes, but at least I will be out having fun making art!My new-to-me Blackberry Curve showed up in the mail, tomorrow is the first session of ceramics
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9/1/2009 8:59:12 AM |
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Really, nothing cheers me up like a good play session! Thanks for a great evening, S!Really, nothing cheers me up like a good play session! Thanks for a g
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8/29/2009 11:45:50 AM |
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Slavekal has written an ebook about how to successfully find and keep a dominant woman in your life. GO to his profile and click the link! A lot of you men need some serious help, it seems, and I can tell you that Slavekal has the goods when it comes to keeping a femdom happy. So many men contact me with absolutely no idea what it means to be a submissive male, rather than a sex toy. Do I look like I need to be cruising the internets for sex toys? I do NOT, and that is true for nearly every woman on this site. A smart dominant wants those serving her to be happy in her service---that does NOT mean that she exists to make all their fantasies come true, or that serving is easy or fun all the time. Because SERVING IS WORK. Playing is the REWARD. Just imagine, there are service relationships happening RIGHT NOW that do not involve any kind of S/m play! Or sex! What a concept, eh?Slavekal has written an ebook about how to successfully find and keep a dominant woman in your
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8/25/2009 5:13:37 AM |
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Some of you might be following the continuing saga on the other site. Yes, it is unpleasant, and thankfully many of you don't know exactly what is happening. I want to assure all of you that while there is a shitstorm happening at 'the top', there are many many wonderful people in the Michigan scene, and events are NOT a festival of meanness and gossip. Wicked, Space, and Fetish Odyssey are a great chance to get out and socialize, watch people play, and have a great time! Please don't let the 'drama' keep you at home.Some of you might be following the continuing saga on the other site. Yes, it is unpleas
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8/23/2009 1:38:37 PM |
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Right now there are THREE pairs of black stiletto heeled shoes in my car. I am finding that thought so cheerful, I haven't put them away! Right now there are THREE pairs of black stiletto heeled shoes in my car. I am finding t
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8/19/2009 12:17:46 PM |
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I had a lovely early afternoon driving to Windsor for Sweet Chili flavoured potato chips! The contractor who is doing our windows loved the ones I had at the house back in the spring, so we decided to reward him with some snackies along with his big check. :) Of course I scored some Ketchup flavour and some sour cream & bacon for myself, Dill Pickle for mom, All-Dressed for the faux-nephew...TWENTY minute waits at the border both ways, and the US guy looked in my trunk! I was allowed back in the country though, so Hello Kitty backpacks DO make great toybags!I had a lovely early afternoon driving to Windsor for Sweet Chili flavoured potato chips!
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8/5/2009 6:33:48 AM |
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{edited 8/12}I am lightening my harsh view on public events... and I will still go to Wicked, and to Space, but unless my playmate is as out as I am, I won't be playing. I really don't have any concerns for my OWN privacy, but since I cannot offer any kind of security for my playmates, I am reluctant to engage. If I am going to be at a public event, I will continue to post it here so that you can come and say hello. :) {edited 8/12}I am lightening my harsh view on public events... and I will still go to Wi
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8/2/2009 9:06:48 AM |
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Seeing that the herd HAS thinned itself, here's a little update on who I might be interested in: a SINGLE masochist, aged 35-55, living within 50 miles of me or, less than an hour's drive. I really don't care if you consider yourself 'submissive', as long as you like to PLAY HARD, have good manners, and can keep me entertained. It's also essential that you be HONEST with yourself and with me. If you are just interested in sex... move on along. I don't consider bdsm equivalent to foreplay. You might never get to see my naked body, let alone touch it! That is up to ME no matter what!Do not come presenting yourself as a slave or sub if you are a bottom looking for a good time. I have no issue with bottoms and having fun! I DO have a problem with men who offer to serve me, and really just have some agenda of their own. Want to PLAY but not serve? SAY SO UP FRONT. I am NOT able to host! I wish that were otherwise. While I am very open about orientations, I DO have to LIKE the person I am playing with. If you bore me, annoy me, or just don't interest me... it's not going to happen. So, you still have to make a good impression. Seeing that the herd HAS thinned itself, here's a little update on who I might be interested i
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8/1/2009 6:23:19 AM |
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The herd thins itself! Collarme.com - The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet
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7/30/2009 4:01:36 AM |
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I don't know if mercury is retrograde or what, but the drama llama has hit my local circle of acquaintance in a BIG way. Odd way to celebrate Lammas, but I will be working on some serious protection for me and my pals! Be careful what you say, and who you say it to---words can come back to snap at you. It hasn't happened to me, but I am waiting...I don't know if mercury is retrograde or what, but the drama llama has hit my local circle of
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7/27/2009 8:20:15 AM |
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Today is the second anniversary of my grandmother's death. It seems a fitting end to what has been a very stressful and disturbing week. It's been eye-opening in a lot of ways, I have learned things about some friends that I wish I hadn't, though it's good that my eyes have been opened. I've sincerely thought about leaving the public scene. I've been reminded about what is and isn't important to me. Today is the second anniversary of my grandmother's death. It seems a fitting end to wha
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7/24/2009 6:16:11 AM |
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Hello, faithful readers! I have been accused of a lapse in protocol by posting that list of my good and reliable male friends. What do you think? I got compliments from STRANGERS over that post. Was it ill-advised? A violation of something or other? Or just me saying nice things about my pals?Hello, faithful readers! I have been accused of a lapse in protocol by posting that list
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7/10/2009 10:19:18 AM |
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Time for another PSA---~~Alcohol and play do not mix in my world! If you have been drinking--even one beer! then we are not playing for at least two hours after you're done. Two drinks? Sorry.~If I do not KNOW you, you will not be added to the friends list. Yes, I really do KNOW all those people!~I appreciate the desires that many of you have. Sadly, you will not be realizing them with ME unless you go through that tiresome process of making friends. Time for another PSA---~~Alcohol and play do not mix in my world! If you have been drinking--e
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7/9/2009 8:30:08 AM |
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I am back from Calibirthday 2009! What a lovely weekend of laughter and fun! I even got to share a 'cherry' with my beloved MoGA! Now I am counting mosquito bites (eight), and planning my week. I am back from Calibirthday 2009! What a lovely weekend of laughter and fun! I eve
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6/5/2009 5:08:13 PM |
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A friend suggested I post a list of the time wasters, but who needs that? Here's some of the really GOOD, KIND, and DECENT men on here---the unnattached ones, anyway!Bound2ServeHer, Birdman56, beargonewild, votiveguitar, jacquestreatment, silverbullet3070, darkdaddyz, jb21, westlandjeff, desertrat, midmichcowboy, masterstandrew, cjan... well, I could go on, but you can make your own lists!! Sorry attached guys, you rock, but you have your own women to compliment you. THANK YOU ALL for making this site worthwhile!A friend suggested I post a list of the time wasters, but who needs that? Here's some of
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6/2/2009 7:23:38 AM |
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I really don't like those journals that are full of carping and complaint, and this week it's been *very* hard to hold back! Is it sunspot activity, or phases of the moon that has brought out the festival of cowards and liars? Perhaps 'liars' is a bit harsh, but if a person says that he couldn't meet me (and couldn't drop a note to let me know) and finds a 'goddess' the very next day, doesn't that leave a strong hint? It leaves a very strong smell, at the very least! It's nice to know that the one who decided I was the one without benefit of meeting me---the one who STILL has not generated the cojones to meet me---still hits this site every few days. I am still on the favourites list of the one who declared me a FAKE. I feel like posting a list of the men who ARE decent, kind, honest, friendly, reliable, and all that other good stuff, but I am going to keep it a secret! They might start slacking off when they see just how little they have to work to really shine!I really don't like those journals that are full of carping and complaint, and this week it's
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5/29/2009 4:39:40 PM |
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This is one of those times when the TOS makes me sad, because my mail has brought me some enormous laughs this week, and I cannot share them! I will offer these hints for you seekers, though---if you are looking for sexual encounters with dominant females, it really DOES take more than a proposition and a picture of your dick! Oh, and links to sex clips on the internets? Not 'friendly', just distasteful. Oh, and trim the shrubbery. There! Just another PSA from Helpful Hib!This is one of those times when the TOS makes me sad, because my mail has brought me some enor
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5/23/2009 9:02:05 AM |
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On the other side, there was a question about whether our play tastes had changed over time... Essentially, I like to rotate activities, and I do go in phases, like right now I am absolutely into beating and marking. I will tell you one thing---if I never, ever wear a strap on again, I will NOT care one tiny bit. I love fisting---my HANDS have nerve endings! That strap on can continue gathering dust. Just thought I would put that out there, in the interests of full disclosure.On the other side, there was a question about whether our play tastes had changed over time...
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5/20/2009 6:31:51 PM |
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A friend started a thread about profiles, and how few people really specify what they WANT in them... I read over mine again, and I am not sure if I am specific enough or not. It seems much easier to describe who I am---polyamourous sadistic dominant---than to paint a picture of someone else that is really going to be vague. I want to (re)build my household. There will be more than one submissive there, and play partners as well, so those who want to be exclusive are not going to work well. I want a primary partner, but my personality works best in equal relationships with other dominants, or with switches. I want a girl, and sharing her with him would be fine. I don't need house servants, or someone to do my nails, and while I have owned slaves before, 24/7 ownership does not need to be part of the deal. I want to build a family, but a family of adults that can count on each other, not a cluster of codependent needy types sucking each other dry.That sounds next to impossible, now that I see it written down! Add to that my inability to host at my home, and it gets even worse. It will be an interesting journey, anyway.A friend started a thread about profiles, and how few people really specify what they WANT in
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4/28/2009 8:32:42 AM |
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Once again, I met a wonderful person from these boards, Wandersalone. She's just as fun and fabulous in person as she is in her posts---now I have to save my money for a fantasy trip to Australia! Once again, I met a wonderful person from these boards, Wandersalone. She's just as fun
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4/15/2009 3:32:37 AM |
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Like many women on this site, I get a lot of notes and chat invites from men who want my attention. I am pretty generous with giving folks who fit the criteria a chance, and I can multitask, so IM is no problem. After yesterday evening, I am once again shaking my head. A man who has gone the rounds of the ladies, who has little to no experience, decided that the way to get reacquainted with me was to offer to PAY for a session. Now, I am not a professional dominant any longer, and I make that very clear. Why would offering me money be a good idea? I am not a commodity, I am a person, and I am looking for friends and companions, not casual hookups. A business transaction is no way to begin a friendship. Like many women on this site, I get a lot of notes and chat invites from men who want my atten
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4/10/2009 4:32:57 PM |
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One day left of the season. I'm booked pretty much all day, but everything's under control. It's been a strange season, slow in spots, and sad. One of my favourite clients died of leukemia last week, just a week after I saw him. I left a message at his house for his daughter to pick up his stuffs, and nearly started crying when I heard his voice on the answering machine. He was a great guy, and very prominent in his profession. One day left of the season. I'm booked pretty much all day, but everything's under contr
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3/22/2009 11:09:29 AM |
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I've been on this site pretty much since it started, and I have met some exceptional people and made many good friends. I want to thank them for being gracious, dignified, caring, and honest. I have met several people in the last year who bring new meaning to words like 'duplicity' and 'vindictiveness'. They bring out aspects of my personality that I try to redirect... One good thing about their deliberate evil is that it serves to show how wonderful my friends really are! Thank you, I love you, and I am grateful that I have you in my life!I've been on this site pretty much since it started, and I have met some exceptional people an
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2/27/2009 4:33:12 PM |
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Okay, I got a giggle for the evening. Some guy who can't take a hint wrote me a huffy note and BLOCKED me. Because hey, my purposes here must be extra nefarious, and shoot, I've been on this site for four years (actually, five, but I had another nic) and shouldn't I have found what I am looking for by now?Well, actually, I have found all sorts of things in my time on this site. My profile has changed many, many times to reflect just what I am into at the moment. Right now, that is a LOCAL person of a masochistic bent, of a certain age range, who is free to attend local events and play with folks watching. Because---and I know this is hard to believe---I have to be FRIENDS with my playmates! A person who is just cruising into town now and then just isn't going to work out for more than a brief party scene IF I am in the mood. I am certainly not going to arrange my schedule for that kind of thing. If I need a BDSM booty call, all I have to do is pick up the phone! I have no need to invest any time in someone who is going to have an hour every month or so. There are too many rewarding relationships close to home.Okay, I got a giggle for the evening. Some guy who can't take a hint wrote me a huffy no
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2/5/2009 5:57:09 AM |
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I am back from the Wedding of the Century. It was such a wonderful weekend, there was so much happiness and love, and so much friendship shared... and all from these very boards! I wish our time together could have gone on longer. Greedy and Pirate, I wish you a future of happiness and peace!I am back from the Wedding of the Century. It was such a wonderful weekend, there was so
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2/1/2009 2:11:14 PM |
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I was looking over my list of chat contacts, and almost all the men are tops or switches. Why is that? Easy. They talk to me like a person. We talk about work, what we did over the weekend, what the kids are up to, current events, whatever. The conversation might drift over to kink, but not too darn often. We have other things to talk about! Now, it could be that these fine gentlemen talk to submissive women as if they were sex toys, I don't know. :) I doubt it, though. What is it about submissive men---and bottom men, and fetishists---that makes them fixate on playing above all else? Why do they only want to talk about what my favourite toy is, or what a caning feels like? Why do I get men of all orientations offering to submit to me, because of how I LOOK? I was looking over my list of chat contacts, and almost all the men are tops or switches.
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1/31/2009 4:59:53 AM |
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My new canes arrived. OMG. They are made of love and win. And savage rattan EVIL! I can't wait to test them on someone...www.canes4pain.com go there and give her money for stuffs! (I got the leather pride set)My new canes arrived. OMG. They are made of love and win. And savage rattan
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1/21/2009 5:49:57 AM |
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I was at a private party last night, and got to see some amazing intense scenes. I felt honoured to be able to share that intimacy with the participants. The energy was amazing, and after I was done with my scene, I was in that peaceful, cheerful HappyDom zone. Thank you, my friends.I was at a private party last night, and got to see some amazing intense scenes. I felt honour
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1/15/2009 6:02:42 AM |
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In the past week, two men that I have been talking with announced that they were married. One was an 'oh, since you are into full disclosure' surprise, the other a man who has been approaching me in a flirtatious/interested manner. Guy #1 is just a chat pal, and I am surprised that he never bothered to let me know, and Suspicious Me just has to wonder why, since he is in a relationship where his wife approves. The second one, that is the one that grinds my gears, because he is representative of that large group of men who hide their submission from their wives but think it is ever so okay to hide their WIVES from their prospective dominants. I actually had to *explain* to him that it was wrong and deceitful to approach a woman who clearly states that she is looking for a life partner, that it is NOT harmless fun, that it is a LIE, and that lie eliminates the possibility of any future trust. And trust is what our BDSM relationships are built on, is it not? Yes, I know. This is the internets, and what do I expect. Not too much, really. Just honesty about a person's true availability. I have plenty of married and partnered FRIENDS. I would have been happy to be friends with the many men I have spoken to online had they actually been up front about their status. Now that they have started their relationship with me by being caught in deception, my interest in their friendship wanes as well. In the past week, two men that I have been talking with announced that they were married.
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1/1/2009 5:17:09 PM |
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January is the month when I can least afford luxuries, so of course I want to go toy shopping! I want all the medical stuff again, stapler, needles, a cautery gun... and someone to use them on, of course! I also want some new canes, and a hippo sjambok. My old rattan canes died due to age and storage... so canes4pain has a set that will do me for a long time. The sjambok is from a guy in S. Africa that has CITES accepted stuff. January is the month when I can least afford luxuries, so of course I want to go toy shopping!
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12/27/2008 12:27:20 PM |
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Happy New Year to everyone! Thank you to all the strangers who sent me kind wishes, I appreciate it!Happy New Year to everyone! Thank you to all the strangers who sent me kind wishes, I ap
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12/26/2008 5:35:45 PM |
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I took my 'real' profile down and moved it over to MS Word, so I could just email it to anyone who wanted to read it. (and no, no one has asked so far!) I've been tinkering with it as an exercise in clearing my mind, codifying just what the hell I am looking for, and what to share up front without being too scary or intense. The internets, LJ, myspace, etc, have fostered the new trend of oversharing, and I don't want to be guilty of that. Still, there are some very important things that need to be said about me, what I want, and what HE should be like. Obviously, he should have the patience to read a three page manifesto! :) I keep adding and shifting and changing words, though I honestly don't know why I am bothering. Maybe it's some kind of positive visualization, rather than an exercise in futility? Insidious hopefulness! I took my 'real' profile down and moved it over to MS Word, so I could just email it to anyone
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11/24/2008 5:12:59 AM |
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Today is my beloved grey parrot Jed's ELEVENTH hatchday! We have been together nine years now, and he is the love of my life. Hugh, if you are out there lurking, I want to thank you for introducing me to the world of greys. I would never have gotten my baby bird if not for meeting you. I guess that makes Jed my 'silver' lining! {for those not in the know about boids---Jed should live to be about 40}Today is my beloved grey parrot Jed's ELEVENTH hatchday! We have been together nine year
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11/12/2008 1:47:49 PM |
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Honestly, I don't know why I do it, but I keep leaping into the economy and car company bailout threads to RANT. Are things truly so golden in other parts of the country that we can just pick up stakes, leave our unsaleable homes behind, and start afresh? Is everyplace NOT Michigan some land of milk and honey where the middle aged can get hired, and the retired find part time jobs? Since I keep reading stories of folk who are doing pick up work to make ends meet, and those folks are being lauded for making the most of a desperate situation, I have to think that things are bad all over. They are simply WORSE here. What's worse: the corporation bigwigs cutting my pay and upping their bonuses, places like Walmart keeping workers' hours limited so that they don't have to pay benefits, or the regular guy who hires someone vastly underemployed at a cut rate and feels good about himself because HE saved money? Why do all three scenarios feel identical to me?Honestly, I don't know why I do it, but I keep leaping into the economy and car company bailou
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10/26/2008 8:47:55 AM |
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I'm a great fan of Lynda Barry, and I have a small collection of her original work, and of course her books. She also teaches a creative writing course which I have never been able to attend. This year she came out with a book, What It Is, which explains the techniques that are used in the class.Essentially the book works on memory, dredging up pictures from the past. I haven't formally done any exercises, but since reading the book, it's amazing how many people have come to the front of my mind again, after years of not thinking about them! There are a few that I wish I was still in touch with, and some that I am amazed I ever forgot. It's been an interesting experience. I am a person with an excellent, nearly photographic memory, it's just the retrieval system that slows me down. So what have I learned? That I had some seriously hot playmates in the past, and wow, I wish I could accept the idea of relationships with younger men. :) That I miss having minions. It was great having men out there that I could count on, without having to be their be all and end all. Any applicants? I'm a great fan of Lynda Barry, and I have a small collection of her original work, and of cou
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10/9/2008 8:58:37 AM |
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It's the middle of October already... I got back into the social scene about a year ago, so this is a sort of anniversary. I've met many new people, made some new friends, and gotten closer to the friends I had. I've also had a few heavy disappointments that I am still working through. I wish there were some magical way of figuring out who the cold and selfish people are before getting involved with them! If I figure it out, I will certainly share the intel with you. :) Several friends have expressed surprise that I haven't found a mate yet. Sometimes I am surprised, too! I am not a great believer in destiny or fate, so I only say I am 'meant' to be alone when I am being hyperbolic, but I have had many doubts lately. I am surrounded by people that love me and care about me, and I am deeply grateful for them, but it's not the same, is it, as having one person for whom you are the center of the universe? What are we to do, but keep ourselves open to the new, and be firm in our understanding of our needs.I know I am not the only lonely person out there, so I offer you all a parade wave of encouragement and fellowship! Know your worth, know what you NEED, and do not settle for anything less than that. It's the middle of October already... I got back into the social scene about a year ago,
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7/24/2008 12:09:53 PM |
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I just got back from an amazing weekend, celebrating the birthday of CalifChick. I got to meet several friends that I only knew from telephone and mail contact, and it was even better than I could have expected! What a wonderful group of women (and man:) ) that I am so lucky to have gotten to know. Those of you who have nothing but complaints about the people on CM really should go over to the message boards and get to know the REAL people out here. It's where I've made many friends that I am closer to than ever, and certainly where I look for interesting men. <G>I just got back from an amazing weekend, celebrating the birthday of CalifChick. I got t
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7/17/2008 8:00:08 AM |
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I've noticed an interesting difference in the behavior of the men who contact me. There are men who live too far away, or who don't match me in compatibility, who consistently petition to serve, to the point of getting blocked. The nearby men who write rarely keep in touch, and send me periodic emails implying that they have been forgotten or neglected. Why is that? It's true that I am forgetful at times, but I am not neglectful of those that I have a connection with. If a person doesn't write back, meet me online for chat, call me, or can't make it to the meeting times I suggest, I take it as a hint that they are really not interested, or that our schedules just aren't going to mesh. (I certainly don't continue contact with those I am not interested in, why would I expect someone else to!) If a man doesn't show enough interest, or the right kind of interest, he just falls off my radar. If he is 'too busy' to meet for coffee, how much time will he have to serve me? I am very serious about my requirements, and attending events with me and playing is a very important one. Establishing a friendship goes along with that. It takes time to develop friendship, and the trust that a really satifying play relationship requires. I've noticed an interesting difference in the behavior of the men who contact me. There
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6/26/2008 5:24:49 PM |
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Tomorrow is the first of July. (Happy Canada Day!) I have been in a cave much of the summer, figuratively speaking. I have gone to half a dozen funerals (srsly) of family and friends, lost my beloved guinea pig, lost the hope of a new relationship, and am facing the prospect of changing jobs after years of being in the same place. Looking around at my friends, so many of us are struggling through difficult times, it's as if our misery is our biggest common denominator. I feel even more helpless because there is nothing I can do for most of them but commiserate.Well, what choice do we have, but to keep moving forward? This past weekend I saw an old friend, one of the first people I met in the scene, back when dinosaurs walked the earth. :) She has been struggling with serious spinal cord damage, and has had other health issues for as long as I have known her. Yet there she was, gorgeous, perfect outfit (under a full body brace), nails done, hair and makeup to the nines, being served by everyone! (yeah, she SAYS she's submissive, but some of us know better!) She is my example for how life can be less than wonderful, but challenges can be overcome because they *have* to be. I hope I can live up to her example.Tomorrow is the first of July. (Happy Canada Day!) I have been in a cave muc
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5/29/2008 5:29:52 PM |
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I've had a little Episode in my life this past month, and it's really cemented some thoughts that I want to share with those of you who keep emailing. Get to know yourself, and what you really NEED in a relationship with another person. Not what you 'want', what you really NEED, the thing that you can't provide on your own that will enhance your life on a daily basis. This will not be a fetish activity, or some sex act, or at least it shouldn't be.Once you understand your needs, be honest about them, and work on getting them. What do you have to offer another person that will make them want to provide for you? A relationship is a mutual creation. Don't settle for less than what you need, and don't offer yourself up to strangers in the hope that they might be right for you. I've had a little Episode in my life this past month, and it's really cemented some thoughts t
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3/20/2008 4:41:42 PM |
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Some varied profile notes--- DOMINATE is a verb, and people are nouns. Work on that, guys! Pictures are fine things, but what is up with all these pics showing the middle aged body hair and inappropriate undergarments? Not attractive as a first impression. We women are very forgiving of physical faults AFTER we get to know you, why not use that to your advantage? Toys. Please, I do not need to see your dildo collection. If you already have one, I am obviously an Extra Accessory. Some varied profile notes--- DOMINATE is a verb, and people are nouns. Work on tha
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7/19/2007 4:23:56 PM |
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So many men are so vehement about not paying for play! It's fine to not want to scene with a pro dominant, but remember that all dominants want to be treated properly, and just plain treated! BUY THE COFFEE at the coffee meeting, for heaven's sake! Bring some nice bit of something or other and demonstrate that you appreciate her taking the time to see you, and that you don't just view her as the life support system for a flogger. So many men are so vehement about not paying for play! It's fine to not want to scene wi
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