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Journal Entries for badlilthang: |
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3/16/2010 4:09:02 AM |
Yesterday was rough. My son lost the last of his grandparents - his dad's dad -and it was suddenly.He has been so quiet after that - thinking, and i am watching him with loving and worried mom eyes.So - the days will be a bit different - and even though my son's dad is my ex - we need to stay together now - and do what is right...Rest in Peace, Old Lion - the little lion changed to the big lion when the little lion arrived - and now the big lion has taken your place - and the little lion will still be kept safe...by you and the lioness...
Yesterday was rough. My son lost the last of his grandparents - his dad's dad -and it was sudd
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3/9/2010 7:03:23 AM |
plip...plop - there's another drop!Yes...sunshine - warmer weather, and the snow melting. The MC season suddenly came closer. YAY!
plip...plop - there's another drop!Yes...sunshine - warmer weather, and the snow melting. The
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3/7/2010 4:37:32 AM |
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Another day
- another surprise.*L*. i got a mail today with one word in it:
boring………..
well...laughs - i replied:
me or you?
His reply was - in huge letters:
YOU!
I checked out this brilliant male's profile, and things clicked into place
pretty quickly..
He has found that intelligent, married
subs..who wish to protect their marriage make the best partner for Him !The rest of that profile sounded just silly after that comment...talking about trust - and finds that cheating women is the best...*L*...amazing!Also very entertaining thought: why the hell mail someone you think is boring even before you have talked to them? *L*Here's your sign!
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2/21/2010 10:57:51 PM |
as the song goes...let it snow, let it snow, lt it snow...Well - that is all good and well in December...*L*...but if it doesn't stop snowing soon - i am seriously thinking of relocating to Florida or California...sheesh...
as the song goes...let it snow, let it snow, lt it snow...Well - that is all good and well i
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2/19/2010 8:48:37 AM |
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i wonder about people sometimes...saying goodbye - and still sending mails to my private mail...i chose not to reply to the ones sent after the last goodbye...thinking a goodbye was - well - a goodbye??? And love and behold - a long mail arrives here - with a note that i do not need to reply because it will be deleted without being read.i guess someone simply has to have the last word, no matter what - and in such way - also removing any last spec of respect i might have had for said person.I can only hope he will find some peace in his heart from now on.i wonder about people sometimes...saying goodbye - and still sending mails to my private mail.
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2/11/2010 8:01:05 PM |
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Had a very nice birthday yesterday. Made a good (wow..and spicy) meal - sat down with my loved ones and just enjoyed a rare time together. Not often easy to sit around the table for a meal here, due to work and such - but it was my day yesterday - grins - and i sure took "advantage" of that. Got so many cute Valentine's cards also..even a few kinky ones..*bol*...Got the cutest valentine's gift - hehe - and also a very neat birthday present. It feels good to be loved!Had a very nice birthday yesterday. Made a good (wow..and spicy) meal - sat down with my loved
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2/4/2010 5:16:52 AM |
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finally warmed up a bit..still on the minus side - lots and lots of snow - but Valentine's day is closer...hehe...maybe i will get a surprise?i also wonder why people i never have talked to - even seen on the site sends me requests of being in their circle of friends? Kids on facebook i get...as many "friends" as possible...but here?? Nawww...*L*...also tired of the scams.....Dear Mistress - i slave to you always - ...or you WILL submit to me, slave..*L*..amusing..finally warmed up a bit..still on the minus side - lots and lots of snow - but Valentine's
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1/4/2010 4:04:49 AM |
still cold, and today my car decided not to start. Great! -20F - and i am most happy to stay inside and get comfy!The New Year opened my eyes also - finally - and i have put something - or should i say someone? - behind me and closed the door for good. On the other hand - i did not open the door for something - someone - new, either - and i do not think i ever will. Having a slave heart is not easy - so many predators out there, but i am happy also without a Dom in my life. i have my friends - online and real time. People i trust and care for, people that have proved themselves to me as real...and that a word is a word.But yes, of course - i miss the surrender - giving into the pain, deep needs and submission at the feet of a Dom - i just do not let it overwelm me and send me hunting for anyone that might scratch my itch. i am worth more. Philosophical little moment here...must be because my brain is too cold...*L*...my body sure is...so now i will go and start a fire...in my fireplace!
still cold, and today my car decided not to start. Great! -20F - and i am most happy to stay i
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12/31/2009 8:37:27 AM |
Happy New Year...had some pretty ice cold days and we sure got the snow back...*L*...now it is a new year with new possibilities - who knows what it will bring.
Happy New Year...had some pretty ice cold days and we sure got the snow back...*L*...now it is
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12/8/2009 7:41:22 AM |
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Christmas is close - the snow is gone..but the pressies are in the house, and next week i will start the decorating inside...i love that. Take out the old stuff from my childhood - the new things - one new santa or angel seem to find their way into my house every year..*L*..Just a couple of inches of snow outside now would make it perfect...ONLY a couple of inches, though..*L*...last years shoveling was no fun...Christmas is close - the snow is gone..but the pressies are in the house, and next week i will
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11/20/2009 2:52:35 PM |
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rain - but one day this weekend was very nice...visited our biker friends sunday- and it was family day...babies and litle kids....very nice...s....rain - but one day this weekend was very nice...visited our biker friends sunday- and it was f
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11/6/2009 8:34:13 PM |
Not a good day today. Rough morning - can only hope the rest of the day will be better....think i will actually take a nap.Stressed. Thinking a lot. Confused...hey - i am blonde...so i guess the last is natural...
Not a good day today. Rough morning - can only hope the rest of the day will be better....thin
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11/4/2009 1:53:19 AM |
Well...laughs...no snow - it decided to rain instead...All the apples are picked - leaves have fallen from the trees, and it is just icky outside. Just a few miles from here, there is snow, though - and the roads are slippery as hell.Bike is in the garage for the winter nap - pouts - the season is way too short in this country...i wanna move to California..*L*..
Well...laughs...no snow - it decided to rain instead...All the apples are picked - lea
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9/26/2009 9:08:21 AM |
Seems like it will be a long winter. It already snows a couple of hours from here - and it sure made me a bit blue...i am such a summer person - so why i live where i live - well...laughs - this is where i was born and raised, and our healthcare system is excellent - so here i will stay...but wow - does California - or Texas - or any State along Route 66 sound tempting right about now.....or a healthy lottery win - hehe..then i can live anywhere, and not worry abou money!
Seems like it will be a long winter. It already snows a couple of hours from here - and it sur
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9/25/2009 1:45:15 AM |
beautiful fall days here...air is crisp and cool and the sun is trying to heat up the air, but is not quite succeeding..Summer is definately over - let's just hope the winte will be gentle..and not gift me with as much shoveling as the last one did! :-)
beautiful fall days here...air is crisp and cool and the sun is trying to heat up the ai
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9/20/2009 3:10:26 AM |
quiet thought today.....wondering if anyone (of course) has experienced what it is like to find the One - knowing it was a 100% connection - and that every fiber in your body - soul and mind screamed that it was your other half...only to see Him walk away...and then realize you are done. There is no need or no will to even look for the slave inside ever again- it is behind you. The part of you that has been so important in your life..the one side of you that sparked the intensity of every emotion known to man...the one thing that made you LIVE...simply faded...the door closed - Him on one side...you on the other - and you heard the key turn and lock the door...then the sound of a key dropping...and footsteps striding away.never settling for second best - but settling nevertheless...in another state of mind.Calming on one hand - frightening on the other...but still the only choice left...Life is still good - waking up in the morning with a smile - maybe some times shaking off a bit of sadness and some sense of loss - but all in all - it is good..."Twue" slave or not - still obedient to one self - and honest enough to admit it. A Master deserves a slave's very best - not one that is half hearted into it...right? Hence - rather (should) be without it than to live a lie.
quiet thought today.....wondering if anyone (of course) has experienced what it is like to f
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9/15/2009 3:18:48 AM |
Route 66 is over and done with, and it was amazing!!! Somewhat tired after 10-12 hours on the road pr day - 300 - 360 miles..but wow - what an experience. Chopper ride over the Grand Canyon, saw the Petrified Forest - and many other interesting places and people...s...Good to be home, though...s...
Route 66 is over and done with, and it was amazing!!! Somewhat tired after 10-12 hours on the
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8/17/2009 11:19:17 PM |
perved some profiles again, and got a good laugh. God, some of them are amazingly offensive - and seem to be proud of it. One even demanded anyone that wrote her to sign off the mail with a rather stupid name. Hello? Giving orders to one she has not even met? Talk about living in a world of her own.To me being a Dominant should be about respect - honor and a will to teach. Some seem to think it is carte blanche for them to treat people like trash...yeah,well - it may work for some, but i still feel that people should get to know each other well before they make demands.Ah...that felt much better...rant over...|L|
perved some profiles again, and got a good laugh. God, some of them are amazingly offensive
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8/12/2009 1:10:42 PM |
man....this has been one wet summer..groans....thank God i am headed for the US in 2 weeks.....18 days - Route 66...18 bikes..YEAH!!!!! LA - Chicago....
man....this has been one wet summer..groans....thank God i am headed for the US in 2 weeks....
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7/28/2009 4:01:03 PM |
wow....talk about wet...wet...wet....rained every day - and today was finally sunny - so out i went - for a trip on Pooh......awesome feeling.......grinning
wow....talk about wet...wet...wet....rained every day - and today was finally sunny - so out i
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7/14/2009 6:30:17 AM |
and how long was Adam in Paradise? *L*...uh huh..it is raining again.....
and how long was Adam in Paradise? *L*...uh huh..it
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7/11/2009 9:24:14 AM |
and...after the 4th -we have had rain every single frigging day...*L*....first time out on Pooh today which was sweeeeeeet.
and...after the 4th -we have had rain every single frigging day...*L*....first time out
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7/1/2009 10:11:28 PM |
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2 weeks with amazing weather - one day was 101 - rest was high 90's...Had our 4th of July party with the Bikers - and 25 harleys rolled into our yard...30 people or so...we had a blast!!2 weeks with amazing weather - one day was 101 - rest was high 90's...Had our 4th of July part
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6/21/2009 1:55:24 PM |
and then life tossed a curveball.....
Collarme.com - The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet
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6/14/2009 11:01:47 PM |
...flu sucks...so far i have been down and out for a week, and have been coughing badly the last two days...so obviously not online much...will reply to mails as soon as i feel up to it...
...flu sucks...so far i have been down and out for a week, and have been coughing badly the la
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5/31/2009 7:48:28 AM |
Had some wonderful days....the weather was no less than amazing - so spent hours on the bike - and also with friends....Friday - Monday.....these mini vacations are sure energy injectors....! Today it is raining -but that is ok.....*L*.....i have things to do at home also....darn it...
Had some wonderful days....the weather was no less than amazing - so spent hours on the bike -
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5/23/2009 2:54:01 PM |
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They surface -wanting to know "how i am doing", and stay a friend. i say i am ok - i ask a couple of questions i think i deserve a reply to. One month silence - back...close to two weeks - nothing.obviously a friendship means different things for different folks.They surface -wanting to know "how i am doing", and stay a friend. i say i am ok - i
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5/15/2009 5:45:27 AM |
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Good grief....just got a mail with one line -show me your tits!lmao - my natural curiousity made me look up his profile, and well...*L*...he sure asks a lot - but offers nothing in return...My first thought? i think i will be polite and keep it to myself....chuckles...Good grief....just got a mail with one line -show me your tits!lmao - my natural curiousity ma
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5/8/2009 10:22:46 AM |
life is good...pooh and i are out as much as we can - and even though a ride home saturday night at 11:45 - 1.45 am was cooooold...*L*...it was still sweet to be out...
life is good...pooh and i are out as much as we can - and even though a ride home saturday nig
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4/19/2009 11:21:15 PM |
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sunshine still...i see a ride or two coming this weekend...*S*...Right now i am in a thoughtful state. Many things i wonder about - and i do not know how to find answers. This is a part of living, i guess..laughs..sunshine still...i see a ride or two coming this weekend...*S*...Right now i am in a thoughtfu
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4/19/2009 9:56:57 AM |
another few good rides...but it iiiiis cold at night.*L*..and snow is still on the ground. Not on the roads, of course - but in the shady valleys and such - still plenty. Would scare a California biker...hehe...but us vikings - we handle a lil cold...but ok...it was nice with a hot shower!
another few good rides...but it iiiiis cold at night.*L*..and snow is still on the ground. Not
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4/10/2009 9:08:26 AM |
Finally been out on a ride again, and pooh works brilliantly. New footboards, new forward controls - a little bit different - but very nice....s....got 2 trips, and then the rain came....*L*...visited friends also - they just got a little babygirl, and it was so nice to hold a baby again. A new life - brand new - i hope her life will be a good one...s...
Finally been out on a ride again, and pooh works brilliantly. New footboards, new forward co
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3/5/2009 6:44:01 AM |
...a few lovely days - sunshine - thawing...and SNOW..*L*..i have gotten a few nice mails lately - and the ordinary f*cked up ones.i am told i am not a "real" slave - because i have posted my opinios on the board..is ok - the one accusing me is probably not a "twue" Master, either...And what is up with these Ghana mails? What need do i have of a slavegirl - and um....no, i am not that stupid - i know what a scam is when i see one...i also got a rather scary mail - obviously from a rather sick individual...i reported it - and the profile is gone...not sure if the person deleted it - or CM - and i do not care - it is gone *shudders*.
...a few lovely days - sunshine - thawing...and SNOW..*L*..i have gotten a few nice mails late
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2/20/2009 3:16:45 AM |
it snows here...have i mentioned that? *L* who needs an expensive gym...but - YAY - yesterday arrived with sunshine - and i saw the icicles drip...there is hope yet...
it snows here...have i mentioned that? *L* who needs an expensive gym...but - YAY - yesterday
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2/15/2009 9:08:19 PM |
maaaaan...will it never end? *L* i keep shoveling and shoveling, and it keeps snowing and snowing...Good exercise, though..*L*..
maaaaan...will it never end? *L* i keep shoveling and shoveling, and it keeps snowing and snow
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2/3/2009 1:00:50 AM |
snow - snow - snow...and it keeps snowing..well - it is winter, so maybe it is not so odd, huh? *L*
snow - snow - snow...and it keeps snowing..well - it is winter, so maybe it is not so odd, huh
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1/20/2009 10:16:43 PM |
snow melted almost - and then a new snowfall with at least another foot of heavy, wet snow to shovel. Seriously thinking of buying a used snowblower...this sucks..*L*..Is pretty, though - with the white fields and trees...like a fairytale...
snow melted almost - and then a new snowfall with at least another foot of heavy, wet sn
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1/16/2009 12:04:31 AM |
maaan..that spring feeling sure vanished. The last two days we have gotten about10-12 inches of snow, and it is still snowing...ugh. Shoveling might be a good workout - but not at all that fun. Seems like Pooh will have to hide in the garage a few weeks more..*L*..
maaan..that spring feeling sure vanished. The last two days we have gotten about10-12 inches o
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12/31/2008 4:07:36 AM |
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oooooook...laughs - Christmas tree is now down - with a little help from the kitties...chuckle...Always a little sad when all the Christmas decorations are taken down - livingroom changes so much. No lights from the tree - no santas and angels - and i have way too many..and oddly - a new little angel or santa seems to sneak in every year. But...the days are getting longer - spring is coming closer and soon.......time to get Pooh out of the garage. Ok...so 3-4 months from now..*L*..oooooook...laughs - Christmas tree is now down - with a little help from the kitties...chuckle
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12/17/2008 9:08:57 AM |
well...Christmas tree is still standing..lol..barely but the kittens have settled in, and the older cat seems to be accepting also.A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Yearto everyone peeking in here!
well...Christmas tree is still standing..lol..barely but the kittens have settled in, an
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12/12/2008 3:30:43 PM |
was too quiet in the house so now 2 new kittens are running around...my christmastree is very tempting - also the gifts with al the bright colors and ribbons...hehe...i smile a lot now...s...
was too quiet in the house so now 2 new kittens are running around...my christmastree is
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10/29/2008 5:00:02 AM |
Lost my precious Maine Coon boy Fearless. Some idiot did a hit and run, and we found him in a ditch...He was 1 year old....this hurts more than i can even explain. "Only" a cat - but one with one hell of a personality - and always in the middle of things. Walked right into the neigbors house to say hi to the dog...and lived...*L*..playing, purring - eating all day....Oh, Fearless - how will life be without You????? So empty......
Lost my precious Maine Coon boy Fearless. Some idiot did a hit and run, and we found him in
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10/25/2008 3:12:54 PM |
when i say i can not relocate -and that i am not looking for 24/7 - i am not even officially looking now it says in my profile, why is it so hard to understand?I fail to see why i am a fake because i:1. can not relocate - fake.2. Can not offer 24/7 - fake.3. Will not cam - not female - fake.4. Will not send nude pics w/face - fake.i am pretty ok with who i am - so these statments amuse me more than they annoy me.
when i say i can not relocate -and that i am not looking for 24/7 - i am not even officially l
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10/23/2008 11:21:18 AM |
wow..time flies. Haven't written in here for a long time - but my bike is finally back home. Rode it home and that was a chilly experience..*L*...8-10 C for those knowing how cold that is...Other than that - same ol' - same ol'.
wow..time flies. Haven't written in here for a long time - but my bike is finally back home. R
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9/27/2008 10:44:27 AM |
new month - and closer to winter..shudder. Bike is still in the shop, but i hope i will get it back before the winter sets in..so i can take a little ride before i put him to bed for the winter months...A Dom friend of mine sat me down the other day - and told me i had to start looking again - for the One for me. We had a long talk - i cried and i laughed - i was angry, sad and happy - because He was so right. i should open up my heart and eyes agan - and hope for the right One to find me......still...do i want to try again - really try?Yes, i do - but i am still not seeking...i exchange mails with a few wonderful people - but i keep it on a friendly level...i admit it - i am scared...it does hurt to lose "that lovin' feelin'...
new month - and closer to winter..shudder. Bike is still in the shop, but i hope i will get it
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9/3/2008 10:04:31 AM |
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..groans..3 moose crossing the road + ONE car not realizing traffic ahead has noticed those animals - and has stopped - well -that means down and out on a rainy road - 2-3 rolls and two blue knees, sore elbow - and some hefty bike repairs for me - having to slam the breaks on - to avoid hitting mr. observant!!...and end of season..people should really not use cellphones while driving..ugh...And of course - before i had stopped rolling - and people got out to help - he was long gone.....gotta love it...p.s. was at least 3-4 carlengths between him and the next car - so why he did that stunt beats me..at least i am ok. ER - then a trip to the hospital for x-rays...police got my bike to the shop - and tomorrow i have to call my insurance and get all that taken care of...now i am home..sore, but in one piece...yay...*L*.....groans..3 moose crossing the road + ONE car not realizing traffic ahead has noticed those an
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9/1/2008 12:25:35 PM |
weekend - yay - and hopefully a long ride tomorrow. This time to Sweden - our next door neighbors. Can only hope for good weather!
weekend - yay - and hopefully a long ride tomorrow. This time to Sweden - our next door neighb
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8/30/2008 3:16:48 PM |
another day - another smile...yes, i am back to being my unbearable smiley self...lol...the pic collector has not written - but others had - agreeing with me on what i did...or did not do. Glad to hear i am not all messed up in the head...*L*...
another day - another smile...yes, i am back to being my unbearable smiley self...lol...the pi
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8/27/2008 8:53:14 PM |
ok...long night - thoughts rolling - and i have come to a conclusion. There is nothing wrong with me. *l*.If i for instance refuse to send a nude picture to a complete stranger - one who has not even showed me a photo of his face - that does not make me unwilling to please or change me into a fake. All it does is protecting me - and i doubt that a Master would even ask this of anyone - knowing trust, respect and safety takes time to built. And when contact is broken the moment He did not get a new nude pic to His collection - i am convinced that He was nothing at all what He claimed to be...i am still who i am. I talked about this with a couple of rt doms i know and they both said the same. i did what was right for me - and He tried to make it into me being a fake. Me sending a nude pic does not make me a better or more obedient slave, either - anyone can pose in a photo - kneeling rt because i need to - is something totally different.Guilt trip approach, in other words..Yes, i was sad - i liked His letters - but now i know that the words He so brilliantly put down on the paper were just that - words - with nothing to back them up with.
ok...long night - thoughts rolling - and i have come to a conclusion. There is nothing wrong
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8/26/2008 1:34:27 PM |
things change for many reasons. Right now i have problems understanding a few things - first and foremost who i am. i thought i had it figured out, but i got a few mails here these last days that was like slaps across my face. It is not good when a complete stranger states His facts - and does it in such a way it makes me feel inferior or uncertain - not to mention - making me feel i have done something wrong. It it also not good that it actually mattered to me how He felt - that truly was mind boggling. Right now i must say i have lost my direction - and it frightens me. i thought i knew who i was - obviously - i was wrong..yes...the sunny disposition is a bit cloudy right now - lot of thinking to do...a LOT.On the other hand - in my heart i still do know what is right for me - if the Person approaching me can not accept that - why approach me? Just to take the opportunity to be mean, and tell me i am not "real"? I do not get it. Not being compatible - i understand and accept without any question, but the need Some here has to hurt people and make them feel less worthy - is something i can not and will not understand. Especially by Someone calling Himself Master.Where is the honor in stepping on someone?
things change for many reasons. Right now i have problems understanding a few things -
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8/20/2008 8:46:53 AM |
Back from a 10 hour bike ride with friends. Glorious day and absolutely lovely weather. Stopped in a small town by the sea and enjoyed home made creamed fish-soup.Shrimp, salmon, crab, veggies it tasted like absolute heaven! Yum. Life is good.Got some nice mails from friends that i replied to - and one that did not impress me much at all:"Yes, I like older slave bitches like you too. I can use you and abuse
you. Older slaves like you are a lot of fun to torture. I bet that you
beg well."Amazing what people can write - and think it is ok. Scary!i wonder what this guy thinks he will accomplish with this approach? May work for others - surely not for me..s..I am smiling when i open the mails from the people i have come to respect and care for here, though - and i write back with a smile also - and li find myself looking forward to the next mail...Always interesting to discuss things with different people - from another culture - another place on earth - we have the same love for BDSM in some fashion, and it is truly a gift to be able to share some of the thoughts and dreams i have - and hear someone elses..
Back from a 10 hour bike ride with friends. Glorious day and absolutely lovely weather. Stop
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8/16/2008 1:22:29 AM |
Back home - safe and sound. Mails waiting for me - and that made me smile. So many sweet people out here - makes it worth it...the pain we go through at times - the lies and the deceit..in between we find real good people that turn out to be friends.The internet is good for some things - bad for other things - but all in all...laughs...at least we learn. Sometimes the bad way, sometimes the good way...but wow...do we learn.....
Back home - safe and sound. Mails waiting for me - and that made me smile. So many sweet peopl
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8/14/2008 6:07:47 AM |
wow...150 Harleys make a lot of nice sounds...grins. Paraded through the town and 2 hour ride around - enjoying the scenery.Won't go back next year - then it will be Route 66 for 16 days!And to the O/ones writing me and being such wonderful friends - Thank Yyou Aall!!!
wow...150 Harleys make a lot of nice sounds...grins. Paraded through the town and 2 hour
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8/11/2008 12:18:37 AM |
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still at Roskilde Denmark. NO RAIN...yay...*L*...so many hot bikes here - and i look forward to tonight and tomorrow with shows and rides...s...now i am enjoying some quiet time in the hotel.still at Roskilde Denmark. NO RAIN...yay...*L*...so many hot bikes here - and i look for
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8/8/2008 11:30:24 AM |
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will be away for a few nice days of riding. Bike meet. Ugh - and the forecast says rain - rain - rain.see ya later, guys...s...will be away for a few nice days of riding. Bike meet. Ugh - and the forecast says rain - rain
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8/6/2008 6:24:08 AM |
at least i now know why i was released. That helped a lot - and gave me a certain closure.
at least i now know why i was released. That helped a lot - and gave me a c
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8/2/2008 12:12:06 AM |
...released... out of the blue - and still in shock.Not even offered a talk - just gone.
...released... out of the blue - and still in shock.Not even offered a ta
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7/31/2008 10:28:28 PM |
New stumble: "I'm curious why so many women have watersports listed as a hard limit. Are you afraid of sharks, or of drowning?"i hope it was a joke....chuckle - especially since the dude claimed to have over 10 years experience in the BDSM life.Other than that - had a few days in the high 80's...good for riding but wow - too hot for me...Then the heavy rain and rainstorms came. Lightning shows from another world....right now - sun/cloudy - but so far no rain..laughs. Probably won't last long!Been discussing on the message board about what a slave is -and as usual - there are some that knows exactly what a slave is...and is telling everyone else also that this is the only way. Odd - i follow the way my Master tells me things should be done, and He calls me His slave. his definition is what is right for me...not what some other Dom might say is the gospel. We are all different - various dynamics. I say what is right for You and Your Dom should be what is most imporant here...s...
New stumble: "I'm curious why so many women have watersports listed as a hard limit. Ar
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6/26/2008 7:15:17 AM |
i stumbled over this today - and my heart just sank."I'm your goddess and I'm on
this site to extend my sphere of influence and find more losers to
mindfuck. And if you're lucky you can be my future cuck or slave. Be prepared to tribute, haha."I am speechless..people like this are dangerous. What gives her the right to call other people worthless? Yes, i know it is up to each and everyone of us to make our own choices..but it can be deadly when a player like this gets a hold of someone with a weak mind...someone who truly will surrender to her - is she prepared to take responsibility for said person after he/she breaks down after endless humiliation and harsh treatment? Or will she just shrug - and walk on to the next victim when the fun part for her is over?i talked to a friend of mine over the phone - for hours - due to someone like her. He was ready to end his life - because she slowly broke him down - until he felt like nothing..and then - she simply walked away with NO single thought of his wellbeing...she said the fun was over for her now - and that was that. Those were long, scary hours...especially since he lived too far away for me to get to him myself - but the help arrived - thank God for cellphones - internet and other people living closer.
i stumbled over this today - and my heart just sank."I'm your goddess and I'm on
this
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5/30/2008 3:21:44 AM |
summer is here, finally - and it feels good...out riding as much as i can - and talking to Master every single day also.i have read a few profiles here - and it sure makes me go hmmmmm reading some of them...so many of them show no respect for the Oone they are seeking - and it is so sad. Respect, honor and honesty should be a given in ANY kind of relationship...maybe even more so in a D/s one where trust is such a huge factor...don't sell yourself short, people - you know what you want, need and crave - find someone who will give you that. Yes, sometimes we need to give more than we may want to - but hopefully it is asked of us because the One asking (talking from a submissive view now) wants to push a bit...teach us something or simply wanting us to move out of our comfort zone. i have things i am worried about - but have told Master so - and i know that down the road - He will take me here - very slowly - i will reach new boundries - i will learn and i will be incredibly proud that i trusted Him in knowing what was good for me - and what i could do.....which i did not have enough faith in myself to see...
summer is here, finally - and it feels good...out riding as much as i can - and talking to M
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5/15/2008 2:59:30 AM |
Quote:"So many of these women claim to "know what they
want", that "they are no doormat".Basically what they are saying is
they are fake and full of shit." End quote...i read this today - and i must say it got a reaction out of me...i can only speak for myself when i say i am most certainly not a doormat - but i do know what i am - who i am and what i need in my life to be complete. If i do not know myself and like myself - i have no business submitting to a Dom. Balance and acceptance of myself - trusting in myself - proud of myself without being arrogant...all these things needs to be in place before i accept One as my Dom...i think we simply must accept that people are different, and what one Dom likes and demands - might not be what another Dom craves. Some Doms prefer a strong woman submitting to Him - knowing that in doing so - she truly means it and it is not something she "just" wants to do - it is a deep need inside her to submit - and very happily do so. Others prefer "doormats" - because they can not be bothered with a submissive who has a good brain and God forbid....opinions...Anyone can force a woman to her knees - but to make her need to lower herself to her knees in His presence...see - that is a whole other thing...s...
Quote:"So many of these women claim to "know what they
want", that "the
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5/12/2008 11:18:23 PM |
As of today - may 17th 2008 i am owned. i can only hope i will make Him proud of me - and i will do my very best to follow His rules, better myself and learn from Him how to please Him the most.Our national day here today - raining and cold..even snowing some places - hello?! It is May?? - but i feel sunshine inside...s...i whispered His name - and He heard me.
As of today - may 17th 2008 i am owned. i can only hope i will make Him proud of me - and i wi
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5/11/2008 9:17:58 PM |
peeks out on they greyish sky - our national day tomorrow, can only hope for...no rain..s.....thoughtful today - a special day - something will happen that might change a lot of things in my life. What things? Grins...well - that is for me to know, for now - but i might share it later..all i know is that it is making me smile - and peek at the time.The arms of the clock tic-tocing so slowly for some reason...s...
peeks out on they greyish sky - our national day tomorrow, can only hope for...no rain..
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5/8/2008 6:18:55 AM |
yes..i do know what being a slave originally meant - smiles - but i still feel that limits should be discussed within the BDSM - D/s - TPE aspect of it (or what Yyou might like to call it) between an Owner and His slave before ownership is carved into her being...No matter how great the devotion or the love for her One - if animals and children are hard limits - they should remain so also after ownership is determind...and preferably in writing...It is that little thing called trust...remember - a slave still have ONE important right if all else fails...she can ask for her release...and free herself from the One betraying His own words...she gives everything - she needs to know she is safe under His guidance and control...yeah yeah..i am opinionated...*L*...
yes..i do know what being a slave originally meant - smiles - but i still feel that limits sho
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5/2/2008 10:49:27 PM |
i am surprised - i was told that being a slave is being totally obedient at all times - to have no will of my own - and also that after the ownership is set - all rules formerly discussed - hard limits set - are to be cast aside....and that from that moment on - i will do as Master say.Then i have only ONE question - why the need to discuss rules and limits on forehand, then - if they are to be cast aside at once? Am i missing something here??
i am surprised - i was told that being a slave is being totally obedient at all times - to hav
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5/2/2008 1:00:19 AM |
Life IS good! Had a few long, nice rides - and it is amazingly sweet to feel the freedom again...Mile after mile - engine roaring so sweetly - how can i NOT smile?Finally got a mail from a fellow submissive - that was so nice - and i hope to share thoughts and dreams with her about her submission - how i see it and other things that might be interesting to talk about....and....why is it that so many Doms thinks that the moment a girl is owned she IS bisexual because He says so and because He wants to see her play with girls?? *L*...just asking...
Life IS good! Had a few long, nice rides - and it is amazingly sweet to feel the freedom
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4/15/2008 1:52:14 AM |
spring is finally here - and i look forward to get out on my bike and feel the winds against my face again!Been a long winter....but got to travel a bit - sick a bit..lol...but now - life is good...Found new friends here - Doms mostly - fellow submissives does not seem to write to the same kind..i wonder why - could be fun to exchange views and experiences now and then...
spring is finally here - and i look forward to get out on my bike and feel the winds against
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2/12/2008 11:53:55 PM |
i haven't written anything here so far - but since it seems to be the norm - i thought i'd jot down a few things.What i have noticed so far is the lack of knowledge among the socalled Doms. Some seem to think that being submissive means easy target - and the moment someone call themselves a Dom - we have to obey.Well - this is no different than in other shades of life. Trust has to be built - respect has to be there and may i add - both ways?Not to mention consent...Then there are the shining gems. The messages you get that make you smile and want to reply, and the messages flow back and forth so naturally. I may not come to anything more than a friendship - but that is precious to me. To find people who understand what and who i am - and lives in the same world of D/s. A deepfelt thank you to you all...
i haven't written anything here so far - but since it seems to be the norm - i thought i'd j
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