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Journal Entries for natasha66: |
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3/12/2010 5:51:54 PM |
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Ok, there is waaay the hell too much water around here. Floods, you can go away now, ok?Ok, there is waaay the hell too much water around here. Floods, you c
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2/22/2010 4:42:51 AM |
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Guess I'm back for a while at least.Collarme.com - The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet
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9/25/2009 4:15:55 AM |
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Not sure how much longer I will be here. Those who know me know how to get in touch with me on the other side.....Not sure how much longer I will be here. Those who know me know how to get in touch with
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9/1/2009 4:57:37 PM |
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It would be nice to be able to shut my brain off for a bit. Unfortunately, that's not happening...It would be nice to be able to shut my brain off for a bit. Unfortunately, that's not ha
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8/10/2009 6:22:31 PM |
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Yet ANOTHER ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday morning. I'm just going to assume the antibiotics will have started kicking this kidney infection's ass by then. I'm bloody tired of the whole sordid mess.... Yet ANOTHER ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday morning. I'm just going to assume the antib
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7/24/2009 5:11:50 PM |
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Been sleeping horribly of late. Seems that this damn kidney stone waits until I am exhausted and only want to sleep before it rears it's ugly head. There is good pain and there is bad pain. THIS is bad pain. Excrutiating pain. Pain that makes me want to haul off and hit someone or something. Pisses me off. Another doc appointment later in the week to explore options. I just want this damn thing OUT of me.Been sleeping horribly of late. Seems that this damn kidney stone waits until I am exhausted a
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7/14/2009 11:59:27 AM |
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Monthly doctors appointment yesterday. Am healthy as a horse other than the fact that in the ultrasound I had last month they found a kidney stone. Sure wish they had told me about it before yesterday - I hate surprises. The stone is small and isn't causing any blockage but doc is keeping a close eye on me for the next little while. He didn't seem to be all that concerned about it and honestly I'm not in too much pain, so that's that. Life goes on.Monthly doctors appointment yesterday. Am healthy as a horse other than the fact that in
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6/30/2009 9:23:11 AM |
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Happy 4th to all - and HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Master Collarme.com - The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet
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6/28/2009 5:23:43 PM |
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Not sure why, but this slave was pining for the sting of her Master's belt today...ALL day. It caught me offguard in a very big way... Not sure why, but this slave was pining for the sting of her Master's belt today...ALL da
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6/25/2009 5:21:48 PM |
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People amuse me. They really, truly do. People amuse me. They really, truly do.
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6/23/2009 5:40:44 PM |
More often than not, this site really makes me laugh. Sad, really....
More often than not, this site really makes me laugh. Sad, real
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6/16/2009 9:49:02 AM |
The Invitation
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.I want to know what you ache forand if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.It doesn't interest me how old you are.I want to know if you will risk looking like a foolfor lovefor your dreamfor the adventure of being alive.It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrowif you have been opened by life's betrayalsor have become shrivelled and closedfrom fear of further pain.I want to know if you can sit with painmine or your ownwithout moving to hide itor fade itor fix it.I want to know if you can be with joymine or your ownif you can dance with wildnessand let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toeswithout cautioning usto be carefulto be realisticto remember the limitations of being human.It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself.If you can bear the accusation of betrayaland not betray your own soul.If you can be faithlessand therefore trustworthy.I want to know if you can see Beautyeven when it is not prettyevery day.And if you can source your own life from its presence.I want to know if you can live with failureyours and mineand still stand at the edge of the lakeand shout to the silver of the full moon,'Yes.'It doesn't interest meto know where you live or how much money you have.I want to know if you can get upafter the night of grief and despairweary and bruised to the boneand do what needs to be doneto feed the children.It doesn't interest me who you knowor how you came to be here.I want to know if you will standin the center of the firewith meand not shrink back.It doesn't interest me where or what or with whomyou have studied.I want to know what sustains youfrom the insidewhen all else falls away.I want to know if you can be alone with yourselfand if you truly like the company you keepin the empty moments.~Oriah Mountain Dreamer
The Invitation
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.I want to know what
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6/15/2009 12:26:31 PM |
I saw this on another site:Brat ContractMaster is always right, except when He isn't. When He isn't the slave has the obligation to bring to Master's attention His incorrect perceptions and false notions.
The slave has the right to hide any of Master's toys she does not like. Master then has the right to use the toy on the slave if He can find it.
The Master may be under the impression the slave has done something she should not have been doing. The slave may then point out that not only did she not do such a thing, but she also is under strict obligation to tell Master who did it, and Master is to believe her.
The Master owns the slave totally and has all rights to her body and complete say over how she behaves. The slave has the right to respectfully and politely request things of her Master, over and over again if need be.
The slave is to please her Master with every deed and thought she has and is to bring to Master's attention that this does indeed please Him, even if He says it doesn't.
The slave has the right to sign this contract on Master's behalf, so as not to bother Him.
The slave has the right to add to and amend any of these points, upon consultation with Master, even if He is not present for the consultation.
Master has the right to use the 'Just because I want to' reason for His actions at any time The slave then has the right to try and talk Master out of it.
The Master is to remember that His slave is a sweet innocent angel at all times.
The slave has the right to remind Master that she is totally guileless and above reproach. Everything she does she is to do for Him and she can also remind Him of that fact.I saw this on another site:Brat ContractMaster is always right, except when He isn't. When He
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5/31/2009 3:51:07 AM |
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A year ago today, i was collared by Him. i am a very lucky slave. i am owned, He is healthy, and i am happy. Doesn't get a whole lot better than that. A year ago today, i was collared by Him. i am a very lucky slave. i am o
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5/23/2009 4:32:17 PM |
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Every once in a while, especially on chilly days like today, the cold metal around my neck reminds me that i am owned, that i am His, and a smile comes to my face....Every once in a while, especially on chilly days like today, the cold metal around my neck rem
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5/21/2009 3:49:26 AM |
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I'm having a three dwarf morning: I'm sleepy, grumpy, and dopey.I'm having a three dwarf morning: I'm sleepy,
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5/12/2009 4:06:53 PM |
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Been too busy for my own damn good lately and it's really beginning to piss me the hell off.Been too busy for my own damn good lately and it's really beginning to piss
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5/2/2009 11:11:36 AM |
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Beaurocracy. So lovely to have to deal with. But I kicked some beaurocratic butt today - and won. So I'm happy....but what a damn pain in the ass LOL.Beaurocracy. So lovely to have to deal with. But I kicked some beaurocratic butt today - and w
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4/29/2009 1:15:37 PM |
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Well it's the beginning of a new month. It's been ages since i've seen, let alone served, Master. Plain and simple: i miss Him. A LOT. Well it's the beginning of a new month. It's been ages since i've seen, let alone served
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4/5/2009 5:24:00 PM |
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Still sick - and still annoyed as all hell.Collarme.com - The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet
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3/24/2009 3:39:44 AM |
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God i am soooo tired of feeling like i got hit by a truck....i HATE being sick!!!!! God i am soooo tired of feeling like i got hit by a truck....i HATE be
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3/10/2009 10:09:33 AM |
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Point to Ponder: Just because you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.~George CarlinPoint to Ponder: Just because you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus h
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2/10/2009 4:16:38 AM |
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Happy Valentine's Day, Master Collarme.com - The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet
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1/30/2009 1:25:44 PM |
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It never, ever fails. February hits and i get sick. Granted it's merely a cold, but i don't have time for this....dammit. It never, ever fails. February hits and i get sick. Granted it's merely a cold, bu
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1/27/2009 12:31:16 PM |
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He has been away on business and has been sorely missed by His slave. It will be a pleasure indeed when i get to serve Master again. Master, Your minx is very much looking forward to it!!!!He has been away on business and has been sorely missed by His slave. It will be a pleas
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1/9/2009 1:57:16 PM |
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Master spent the night here last night and His slave spent the night chained to the bed by the ankle sleeping on cushions on the floor. It was a first for me, and put me in a very strange headspace. Strange, but good. i have really missed Him the past couple of weeks. Oh, and He gave me a brand new absolutely gorgeous personalized collar. The picture of it has been submitted and will hopefully be approved shortly.Master spent the night here last night and His slave spent the night chained to the bed by the
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1/4/2009 2:19:33 PM |
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It's been a LONG couple of weeks, but i will finally see Master on Monday. Real life got in the way and W/we haven't seen eachother in a while. i am very much looking forward to serving Him again It's been a LONG couple of weeks, but i will finally see Master on Monday. Real life got
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1/3/2009 5:07:01 PM |
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His son is out of the hospital and home. Next obstacle - this damn weather. i am hoping to see Him Friday, but if the half inch of ice that landed here today doesn't melt by then, i will most likely have to wait until next week. This slave desperately needs to feel the sting of the belt and to serve her Master.His son is out of the hospital and home. Next obstacle - this damn weather. i am h
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12/31/2008 7:05:24 AM |
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i miss Him. A lot.Collarme.com - The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet
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12/26/2008 2:16:09 AM |
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Prayers are still needed. His son is going back in the hospital today for a few days. Prayers are still needed. His son is going back in the hospital today for a few days.&nb
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12/13/2008 1:35:08 PM |
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Powerlessness is not a good feeling. i wish i could just snap my fingers and fix the pain Master is in right now. i could hear it in His voice tonight. Not knowing what is making His son so ill must be horrible. Anyone reading this, please pray for Him. Thank you.Powerlessness is not a good feeling. i wish i could just snap my fingers and fix the pai
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12/12/2008 10:51:07 AM |
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I get very irritated with people who think this is all about sex. For me, that is the farthest thing from the truth. Granted, that may be part of the equation, but it's not the whole deal. While I am by no means passing judgment on those who can just 'play', I am not one of those people. A while back, there was a discussion here about 'meaningless' sex. I can't just arbitrarily sleep with someone out of some need I may have. If there is no connection, be that friends, or in an established relationship, I can't participate.The older I get the more I need and want to be connected to someone emotionally. In June, I was collared to a man with whom I have that type of relationship. Yes, He is my Master and I am His slave, but we are more than that. His son is sick and in the hospital right now, and as His friend, He knows I am there for Him. As He was there for me when my stepfather was dealing with cancer this past year. Relationships are and should be a two-way street. Ours is just that, and I am very content.I get very irritated with people who think this is all about sex. For me, that is the farthest
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12/9/2008 12:50:27 PM |
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i don't know why this is having such an impact on me now, but when i saw Master on Thursday, at one point as i was lying face down on the floor, He put His foot on my ass as if to hold me down and keep me there. Sent me immediately into another 'zone'. It was a very powerful moment for this slave. i don't know why this is having such an impact on me now, but when i saw Master on Thursday, a
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12/7/2008 3:26:59 PM |
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Well, Master lived up to His word. As a friend of mine here so aptly put it, i got a 'serious can of whoop-ass' today. As the direct result of me being a smart ass, this slave's ass is definitely smarting tonight. Badly needed, and deserved, i might add, but sitting will be an issue for a few days.....Life is GOOD. Well, Master lived up to His word. As a friend of mine here so aptly put it, i got a 'se
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12/6/2008 3:05:53 PM |
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Sometimes, i really wish i weren't such a smartass. We were talking on the phone tonight and i said something to which His reply was 'well, we will see who the Master is here'. i wish i'd kept my mouth shut, i really do.....Sometimes, i really wish i weren't such a smartass. We were talking on the phone tonight
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12/5/2008 2:54:26 PM |
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'Come to the edge,' He said. 'I am afraid,' she said. 'Come to the edge,' He said. she came. He pushed. she flew. ~Guillaume Apollinaire 'Come to the edge,' He said. 'I am afraid,' she said. 'Come to the edge,' He said. she came. H
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12/4/2008 8:57:30 AM |
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i am very lucky to have such an understanding and thoughtful Master. i have been thinking about the fact that until today, i didn't have any day-to-day rules to follow. We were talking today and i mentioned that i needed rules. So, being the obliging Master that He is, i now have two. The first is no self-gratification of any kind without His express permission. The second is that i am to wear one of the three pairs of panties He gave as a birthday gift every other day. If He comes to see me on a day i am supposed to be wearing a pair and i am not, i will get the 'Evil Paddle' and i HATE that thing.... i am very lucky to have such an understanding and thoughtful Master. i have been thinkin
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12/1/2008 7:25:50 PM |
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For some reason, i have been really yearning to feel the sting of the belt today (well, yesterday now). Not sure why the feeling is as strong as it is, but i am not going to question it....For some reason, i have been really yearning to feel the sting of the belt today (well, yester
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11/27/2008 5:08:43 PM |
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i've been thinking about my journey over the past six months since i was collared. i know that i am calmer, more at peace than i have been in quite a long time. Didn't start out that way. When Master and i first began chatting i was unsure of what i wanted, and didn't have the confidence to go after my own happiness. Over time He broke down the walls i had built and i am so glad He did. It's wonderful to have a Master who i can count on to be there when i need Him. One who is not only my Master, but also my friend...Thank You, Master...i've been thinking about my journey over the past six months since i was collared. i kno
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11/17/2008 11:30:35 AM |
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Master outdid Himself today. My birthday was earlier in the month but our schedules didn't fit so it was a delayed birthday celebration, and i finally got my birthday spanking. He brought me sushi, some lingerie, a cake, and a teddy bear from His trip to Florida on business late last month. None of which was expected. This slave is feeling very fortunate tonight. i hope i can still say that tomorrow when no doubt His minx will be in a little pain LOL..... Master outdid Himself today. My birthday was earlier in the month but our schedules didn't fit
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11/10/2008 2:53:19 PM |
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i miss Him. Life has been so bloody busy it's bordering on ridiculous, but it's all good. Doesn't leave much time to serve Him though, which is less than wonderful. Hopefully soon...i miss Him. Life has been so bloody busy it's bordering on ridiculous, but it's all good
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11/4/2008 4:12:39 PM |
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Just got home from a completely chaotic, noisy, absolutely wonderful birthday party. i can't say i ever imagined i would celebrate my 42nd birthday with four relatives under the age of 8 (neices and nephews), the three year old child of a friend of mine, a dear friend, and my parents. It was an experience that i won't forget anytime soon, and most likely not everyone's cup of tea. i am completely exhausted and worn out, but man did i have an absolute blast!!!!Just got home from a completely chaotic, noisy, absolutely wonderful birthday party. i c
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10/31/2008 12:27:52 PM |
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The past few weeks have been really rough on me, both physically and emotionally. My back pain is constant and brutal, and this slave is has had quite enough. Master was away and that was also hard. i missed Him immensely. Now that He is back, i worry that my constant pain will prevent me from serving Him as i would like to, but i guess we will have to see. i am a service oriented person, and love doing things for others, but honestly i would really love having someone take care of ME right now. Selfish, yes, but it's the truth.The past few weeks have been really rough on me, both physically and emotionally. My bac
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10/27/2008 3:08:21 PM |
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I just read a blog post on fear and it got me thinking. I, like everyone else in this world, have certain things I am fearful of. Some could be classified as phobias: I am scared to death of spiders and heights. Then there is the fear of the unknown that at times can take over my thinking. That is the fear that I have trouble with. The 'what ifs' can stop me in my tracks on occasion. That's when fear becomes dangerous for me. What if this pain never goes away? What if I need surgery? I can 'what if' myself right into abject misery, and then what? Not only am I miserable, but the fear has taken over to the point that I can't cope. Been there, done that. It got me in a heap of trouble.I don't want that in my life anymore. I spent far too long scared of life. So what do I do? I TALK about my fears, I cry, I yell, I feel sorry for myself. Then I get on with the business of living. This is a good life. I am reasonably healthy. I have a roof over my head. I have food to eat and a place to lay my head at night. I have friends I would not trade for anything and a family I love dearly. Life is good. I need to remember that when fear and other negative stuff invades my thinking.Just my thoughts on a Friday night....I just read a blog post on fear and it got me thinking. I, like everyone else in this world, h
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10/27/2008 11:03:42 AM |
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It must be Halloween.....i got home a while ago to find both birds hanging upside down in their cages, just like bats. Angel is acting especially weird....he threw a hissy fit this morning, flinging food at me from the top of his cage. And the bloodcurdling screams coming from this bird are enough to scare the crap out of anyone. Oh the joys of owning birds....It must be Halloween.....i got home a while ago to find both birds hanging upside down in thei
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10/26/2008 2:21:37 PM |
Desiderata Go placidly amid the noise and haste,and remember what peace there may be in silence.As far as possible without surrenderbe on good terms with all persons.Speak your truth quietly and clearly;and listen to others,even the dull and the ignorant;they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,they are vexations to the spirit.If you compare yourself with others,you may become vain and bitter;for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.Exercise caution in your business affairs;for the world is full of trickery.But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.Especially, do not feign affection.Neither be cynical about love;for in the face of all aridity and disenchantmentit is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,gracefully surrendering the things of youth.Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,no less than the trees and the stars;you have a right to be here.And whether or not it is clear to you,no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,whatever you conceive Him to be,and whatever your labors and aspirations,in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.Be cheerful.Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Copyright 1952Desiderata Go placidly amid the noise and haste,and remember what peace there may be in silenc
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10/22/2008 11:01:41 AM |
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I have had a chronic condition my entire life (those of you who know me know what it is so that won't be discussed here). The pain, which is also chronic, has finally forced me to take prescription pain killers, which I had really hoped to avoid at all costs. Not much, but the fact that at this point both me and my doctor see no good alternative really annoys me. I'm hoping that physical therapy will lessen the need for these things, but right now, I am far from happy with the situation. I like to have a clear head, and when I am on them, that is not the case....Although I generally don't allow myself to wallow in self pity and other such non-productive activities, today I am allowing myself that particular luxury. If any of my friends here see that continuing beyond today, kindly call me on it.... I have had a chronic condition my entire life (those of you who know me know what it is s
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10/20/2008 3:45:37 AM |
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Either the world is full of complete imbeciles,or i am just really damn cranky this morning - or both. My tolerance level is actually zero. i am annoyed this morning. i was supposed to be with Master today but instead am home with a rotten cold. Phooey. And since He is away next week on business, i won't see Him until sometime the first week in November, which is not that far off, but i am pissed off anyway.Today is one of those days where going back to bed would be a good option - not a viable one, though, unfortunately....Either the world is full of complete imbeciles,or i am just really damn cranky this morning -
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10/18/2008 10:55:02 AM |
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To 'seriousone232': Three things: One: Using proper spelling ('your' not ur') may improve your chances, but i doubt it with your rather obvious lack of maturity.Two: Just because you were obviously too chicken to risk happiness does not negate my right to have it. Three: Sending emails and then deleting your profile to avoid getting a response is, to put it mildly, immensely immature. To 'seriousone232': Three things: One: Using proper spelling ('your' not
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10/18/2008 5:38:36 AM |
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People really do baffle me sometimes. Why some feel it necessary to demean and belittle others completely out of spite is beyond me. If i live to be 100 i will NEVER understand the need to be so vindictive and hurtful to another human being. *sigh* - i just do not get it...... People really do baffle me sometimes. Why some feel it necessary to demean and belittle
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10/16/2008 3:49:51 AM |
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i was at a commitment ceremony for two dear friends on Saturday and it got me thinking - which in my case can be dangerous at times. One of the definitions of 'commitment' i came across was 'to put into charge or trust'. Another was 'to obligate or pledge oneself'. i trust Master not to maliciously hurt His slave, either physically or emotionally, something i can't say about everyone. In return, i am obligated to serve Him however He sees fit. We support each other and it is a constant give and take. But SO worth it..... i was at a commitment ceremony for two dear friends on Saturday and it got me thinking - which
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10/14/2008 2:38:13 PM |
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Does no one here know the difference between 'Dominant' and ' dominate'? The first is a noun, the second, a verb. A lot of profiles i have glanced at lately are rife with this mistake. Personally, i think it's quite comical....but then again, i'm very tired at the moment so everything is funny. Tomorrow it just may really piss me off.....such is the life of a slave who is incredibly picky when it comes to such things.....Does no one here know the difference between 'Dominant' and ' dominate'? The first is a
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10/9/2008 6:20:44 PM |
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i miss Him. Plain and simple. No analyzing it to death, as i am prone to do. A couple of things happened in the past few days to make me realize that i am indeed truly blessed. Not just to have Him in my life, but to have the friends i have and be able to lead the life i do. Ok, no more thinking for this slave....bedtime.i miss Him. Plain and simple. No analyzing it to death, as i am prone to do.
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10/7/2008 12:25:04 PM |
Breathing in the deep blackness of the nightShe hears His voice Is He here?Be still, don't move, His voice echoes in her head.Be still, don't move. Don't move, Don't Move.....Splitting, tearing, searing, pain, moves through her Like a hot blade against her tender flesh Scarcely breathingBiting her bottom lipThen the 'Ahhh' moment,When the pain gives way to pleasureWhen all she knows is the flood of warmth that engulfs herHis voice seems far away, lost in a fog of velvet.Shhhhh, dont speak, dont move...just be.As time stands still.
Breathing in the deep blackness of the nightShe hears His voice Is He here?Be
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10/7/2008 3:23:55 AM |
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It's a horrible idea for me to read the boards this morning - i am very likely to shoot my mouth off. Just because i can....Tolerance and understanding are not in the cards for me this morning. i'd better leave well enough alone. Catch you all later It's a horrible idea for me to read the boards this morning - i am very likely to shoot m
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10/6/2008 4:29:12 PM |
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May i serve You?One line, four wordseverything changesAnd i wouldn't change a thingMay i serve You?One line, four wordseverything changesAnd i wouldn't change
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10/4/2008 3:41:05 AM |
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i received yet another email from someone here who either CANNOT or WILL NOT 'get it'. And the funny thing is, this twit has yet to actually read my profile. Methinks it's time to block the brain surgeon, but if i do that i will surely miss out on another brilliant email in a few weeks. Oh, what's a girl to do??? LMAO. i received yet another email from someone here who either CANNOT or WILL NOT 'get it'. &n
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10/3/2008 5:24:13 PM |
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Mean people SUCK. A fellow CM'er is going through a very rough time due to someone's thoughtless words and actions and it quite frankly pisses me off how we as humans treat one another at times. Whatever happened to common decency and respect? Mean people SUCK. A fellow CM'er is going through a very rough time due to someone's tho
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9/29/2008 12:33:11 PM |
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Master spent last night and most of today with His slave. i have to say, i feel so much calmer and more at peace after seeing Him. Not that anything was wrong - it wasn't. Being able to see Him, feel Him, talk to Him, submit to Him centers this slave. We are usually, in one form or another, in daily contact, but there is NO substitute for being face to face. I am one very contented slave at the moment. Master spent last night and most of today with His slave. i have to say, i feel so
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9/26/2008 11:06:36 AM |
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'To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.'~Ralph Waldo Emerson'To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of child
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9/26/2008 3:47:05 AM |
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Missed the chance to see Master last week due to circumstances beyond O/our control (mother nature on both fronts). The past couple of days, i have been really anxious to serve Him, this morning especially for some reason. i am really hoping that the opportunity presents itself soon. Master, Your minx misses You!!!!!Missed the chance to see Master last week due to circumstances beyond O/our control (mother na
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9/24/2008 9:00:10 AM |
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Maybe it's because I am in a totally judgemental mood, or maybe because I don't particularly care what others think of what I say, but I need to say this: I've been laughing hysterically at some of the profiles on CM lately. How people can expect to meet or communicate with others when they don't even have a basic understanding of the English language, much less common decency, is completely beyond me. Netspeak and bad spelling and grammar isn't a good start...and hell, if you can't be bothered to be nice, don't expect a reply from me. It won't happen. Maybe it's because I am in a totally judgemental mood, or maybe because I don't particularly c
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9/22/2008 3:22:32 PM |
Innuendos and falsehoods and other things that piss me off....
I was made aware tonight of a situation involving a friend of mine(who shall remain nameless here) who is being badmouthed based on rumors, blatantly untrue ones at that. This person is someone I have known for years and who I consider a confidant and a friend. I do realize that this is cyberspace and things said should be taken with a grain of salt, but what one person may see as amusing or comical can actually be hurtful. It's because this person is a friend of mine that I got so annoyed. I've also been the victim of this kind of pettiness, and people, trust me, it is NOT fun. Unless you know that of which you speak, it would probably behoove you to keep your comments to yourself (and yes I was going to use stronger language but I am, after all, a lady).
Innuendos and falsehoods and other things that piss me off....
I was made aware ton
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9/22/2008 1:43:25 PM |
A Submissive WomanI am a submissive woman. I find pleasure, joy, and fullfillment from being submissive to another in a loving relationship.I am not weak, or stupid. I am a strong woman, with firm views and a clear concept of what I want out of my life. I do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength.I look to my loving Master for guidance and protection, for never am I more complete than when He is with me.
I know that He will protect my body, my mind, and my soul with his strength and wisdom.He is everything to me, as I am to Him.His touch awakens me and His thoughts free me. Only in serving Him do I find complete freedom and joy.His punishments are harsh, but I accept them thankfully, knowing that He has my best interests always formost in His mind. If He desires my body for pleasure, I shall joyfully give it to Him, and take pleasure myself knowing that I have brought Him happiness.However, the pleasure of the flesh is but one facet of any relationship. The love, the trust and sharing, the words spoken and felt, those are all parts of this relationship.
My body is His, and if He says I am beautiful, then I am. No matter what I look like to others, I am beautiful in His eyes, and because of that I hold my head high...for who can tell me that my Master is wrong in seeing the beauty in me? If He says I am His princess, then I am that...regal and graceful. And if I see laughter at me in the eyes of others, I do not recognize it, for who are they to call my Master wrong?If He says I am His toy, His slut, His tramp, then I am that...as wanton and dirty as He wants me to be, and if others do not see this, then it is they who are blind, not my Master.My mind is his, to expand, to explore, to know as only he can. I have no secrets from Him...for secrets are a thing that would keep me from being more perfectly His. Secrets would put a wall up between my Master and myself...and I do not want walls.His lessons are not always ones I would seek on my own, but they are lessons He has decided I need, and so I learn from Him.
My soul is His, as bare to His touch as ever my skin could be when I kneel naked at His feet. Never a moment goes by when I do not feel His presence, be He miles away or standing over me. If I were to ever displease Him, His displeasure would be a blow to my soul, worse punishment than any lashes could be.The anguish of my soul that I feel when I disappoint Him is harder to bear than the physical anguish I feel when His belt caresses me with fire.I spend my days knowing that the energy and thought He puts into our relationship is as much for my benefit as for His, and look forward to each lovingly crafted scene that we do together.His part is much harder than mine, and I know this and am grateful that He cares enough about me to spend His time and energy so freely on me.I have the easier job: to feel, to experience, to let myself go and abandon everything to Him. I am His pleasure and His responsibility, and He takes both seriously. I am a submissive woman. I am proud to call myself that.My submission is a gift that I do not give lightly, and can only be given to one who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold. Only to He who has that strength will I give myself fully, because I am strong and proud.I am a submissive woman.
A Submissive WomanI am a submissive woman. I find pleasure, joy, and fullfillmen
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9/18/2008 1:53:21 AM |
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i am definitely not liking the fact that it's getting darker earlier - it's a bit depressing actually. Still and all, life is good. Really good. Work is good, my family is well. i am healthy. And happy. What more could one ask for? Just my thoughts on a rather chilly Monday morning....i am definitely not liking the fact that it's getting darker earlier - it's a bit depressing a
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9/8/2008 8:49:05 AM |
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Saw Master this morning....it's quite amazing what a few well placed belt whacks can do for one's attitude. i feel centered again - it's a good feeling. Thank You, Master . Saw Master this morning....it's quite amazing what a few well placed belt whacks can do for on
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9/7/2008 2:44:51 AM |
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I actually got chastized yesterday by someone who met me ONCE in person and he accused me of thinking too much because I write about what's going on in this crazy head of mine. While it is true i do tend to analyze the things that go on, i don't necessarily think that is a bad thing. i know myself, and i'd rather go into situations with some thought than go off into life half-cocked....but hey, that's just me... And to the person who just emailed me to suggest i tell this person off, i appreciate the support.I actually got chastized yesterday by someone who met me ONCE in person and he accused me of t
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9/4/2008 3:03:08 PM |
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God, sometimes my insecurity really messes with my head. Just because my routine with Him was disrupted for three days, DOES NOT mean He isn't interested. But my silly sub head went there anyway...I talked to Him earlier today and told Him how I was feeling. Am trying hard not to do the same things I did in past relationships but am finding that old habits really do die hard. It's so hard to just relax and let things go the way they are supposed to....and be okay with that.God, sometimes my insecurity really messes with my head. Just because my routine with Him was
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8/27/2008 3:10:07 AM |
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This pretty much sums it up for me:'A slave is strong, not strong like a man, but strong inside. Her character is that of wanting to please. She serves because it is pleasure to her. She has the inner strength to go places inside herself that her Master guides her. She cannot be weak emotionally, or these places could push her over the edge.A slave is respectful. The first portion of respect is SELF-respect. If a slave does not respect herself, then no one else will either. Self-respect most probably includes self-esteem, taking care of herself mentally emotionally as well as physically. Self-respect could include such things as getting enough sleep, eating right, etc. A slave shows respect to her Master by carrying out His orders as He wishes. She shows respect to her Master and others by being polite, mannerly, and pleasant.A slave is loyal to her Master's wishes. She is also loyal to herself. A slave should never do anything that is against her own moral standings. She also will never allow another to touch her in ways that would be displeasing to her Master. She knows who owns her and thrives in His ownership.A slave is open and honest. She holds nothing back, revealing all that she is to her Master. Openness and honesty lead to better communication, allowing her Master to do the job He should, and to know what responsibilities He takes on. Her openness allows Him also to be more open, thus building trust between them and a deeper submission of the slave.Spirit is difficult to describe. A slave must have spirit. I don't speak of spiritedness, as that is different. Spiritedness is feisty and bratty. Spirit refers more to a brightness emanating from within. It is a light in her eyes, visible to a few...those who understand her slaveheart.A slave needs to be intelligent. Serving includes the mind as well as the body. She needs to be able to challenge her Master mentally. To please Him and with her thoughts, ideas, and input on things he wishes. She needs to be able to understand His instructions and to carry on a conversation on a multitude of topics, as they cannot always be 'in scene'Being a slave is not always easy. Keeping a sense of humor when things seem insurmountable is paramount to focusing onher submission. It also helps to balance the darkness of her desires at times.A slave finds peace and contentment in serving her Master. She is a reflection of Him. She is His property, His possession, His responsibility. A slave shows focus, always keeping her Master in the forefront of her mind. As she goes about her day, she uses her own intelligence and strength to do things in ways that are pleasing to her Master. I am a slave because it is in my soul to be. I find pleasure in the pleasing of another. I thrive on another's direction, control, and presence in my life, and soul. Being a slave is not something I choose to be, it is simply who and what I am. It is my desire to serve a Master, to find the strength, courage, openness, honesty, etc that it takes to be a good slave.'http://www.tiedmoments.com/submission/slave.htm This pretty much sums it up for me:'A slave is strong, not strong like a man, but strong insid
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8/22/2008 9:06:43 AM |
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Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the re
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8/16/2008 2:26:56 AM |
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The coldness of His collar around my neck this morning in the chill reminds me that i am completely His...and this slave would not have it any other way.The coldness of His collar around my neck this morning in the chill reminds me that i am compl
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8/15/2008 5:28:30 AM |
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Very little is needed to make a happy life.~Marcus AureliusVery little is needed to make a happy life.~Ma
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8/10/2008 3:34:22 PM |
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Well, He broadened my experiences quite a bit today. i am still digesting all that went on, but it's all good. Hope i still say that tomorrow when my body is so sore i won't want to move . We'll see.....am hurting already so it's looking pretty ominous lol.Well, He broadened my experiences quite a bit today. i am still digesting all that
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8/8/2008 4:29:03 AM |
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Arrrggghhhhh....why is it that some here automatically assume that because i am a sub i will jump at your beck and call? Even if i were interested (which i am not, by the way), i am collared and therefore decidedly NOT into Dom-hopping, bed-hopping, or any other kind of hopping. Clear enough? Good lord i hope so!!!!! Oh, and if that makes me a bitch in your book...oh well. It's spelled M-O-N-O-G-A-M-O-U-S, people..... Arrrggghhhhh....why is it that some here automatically assume that because i am a s
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8/4/2008 11:55:41 AM |
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I really need to stop over-analyzing the living shit out of everything....I really need to stop over-analyzing the living shi
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8/3/2008 5:20:31 AM |
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This morning in an IM, Master said i was 'stuck' (His phrasing) with Him until i asked for release. As is my custom, i am over-analyzing things. In NO way do i consider myself 'stuck'. If i wasn't happy, i would simply ask to be released. Just struck me as odd that He would say that. Somebody needs to tell me to stop THINKING!!!!!This morning in an IM, Master said i was 'stuck' (His phrasing) with Him until i asked fo
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7/30/2008 3:23:27 PM |
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Sigh....He's out of state for a week and i am already missing Him.....Sigh....He's out of state for a week and i am alrea
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7/27/2008 10:41:05 AM |
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Master wants me to write why i am His slave, so this entry will attempt to do just that. When He first started refering to me as a slave, it made me cringe. i thought 'i am way too opinionated and independent for that crap'. i always knew i was a submissive, but like many i could not get past the idea that to identify as a slave i would have to somehow turn into a 'robot'. i am a slave to Him and to His desires, to quote from a conversation we had earlier today.i am fortunate in that Master does not a want a robot. He wants a person, not a doormat. He wants me to express my opinion (which i have a tendency to do to excess at times in my vanilla life). Although my relationship with Him is still pretty new, He knows that His minx will obey Him without question UNLESS there is risk of serious personal injury to me. i may not LIKE what He asks of me, but i know He will push me to do and be my best. Slave or submissive - to me the two are blurring into one....Master wants me to write why i am His slave, so this entry will attempt to do just that.
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7/12/2008 5:36:05 AM |
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All is right with the world again....life is GOOD.Collarme.com - The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet
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7/9/2008 4:13:52 PM |
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Vacations are beautiful things, but i sure am glad to be home.....Vacations are beautiful things, but i sure am glad
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6/30/2008 3:01:14 AM |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MASTER!!!!! Collarme.com - The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet
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6/28/2008 2:42:59 PM |
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i really have to wonder why on earth some on this site feel it necessary to send nasty, not to mention flat out rude, emails (am being polite here). Guys, if you think this is a good way of finding a sub here or anywhere else, IT DOESN'T WORK. AND - you WILL get the message reported. Neither i nor my Master have any tolerance for such infantile nonsense. Thanks for reading. Rant officially over. i really have to wonder why on earth some on this site feel it necessary to send nasty, not to
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6/23/2008 1:38:55 PM |
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So many things went through my head today. i question whether i am sub or slave - i know i have both tendencies. Master and i spent the day together and unlike much of my recent past experience, i regret none of it. Yes, i served Him, but it was not forced. Yes, i did His bidding but it was because i respect Him as my Master but also as a person. For the first time in a very LONG time, it just felt right. Once you lose respect for someone, the rest, however powerful it once was, eventually dies. i just wish i could call Him 'Master' when i am with Him.....that will come eventually...i am sure of it.So many things went through my head today. i question whether i am sub or slave - i
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5/31/2008 12:39:26 PM |
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minx was officially collared today at close to 3pm. i honestly didn't know if it was going to happen or not because i have made some MAJOR mistakes in the past few days/week. But i took what i knew was coming to me in the form of a few heavy handed spankings with pretty evil wooden paddles, and a belt, and was able to prove i was worthy of Him. Thank GOD. minx was officially collared today at close to 3pm. i honestly didn't know if it was goi
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5/28/2008 10:15:47 AM |
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Patience is DECIDEDLY NOT my strong suit. Collarme.com - The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet
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5/23/2008 10:03:15 AM |
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Oops....hopefully my infraction this morning won't cost me too heavily. He was pissed....10:35pm: i figured i was in trouble....good guess LOL.Oops....hopefully my infraction this morning won't cost me too heavily. He was pissed...
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5/19/2008 4:00:03 PM |
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It's comforting to have someone who checks in on me...and You know who You are.... It's comforting to have someone who checks in on me...and You know who You
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5/15/2008 2:39:43 PM |
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Something He said to me some days ago just hit me in it's pure, raw truth....'the girl needs to be owned again'....that is so true....and now that wish has come true.... Something He said to me some days ago just hit me in it's pure, raw truth....'the gi
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5/11/2008 2:10:04 AM |
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It's amazing what a good lunch, a name change, and some well placed swats can do for one's attitude LOL. Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go.... It's amazing what a good lunch, a name change, and some well placed swats can do for one's att
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5/8/2008 3:42:25 PM |
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What a wildly emotional few days (weeks, really) this has been! But hopefully now that i've decided to move ahead and it has been accepted, things will calm down and return to whatever 'normal' is. All i know is that i feel a HUGE sense of calm and relief at the moment....and it's a very good feelingWhat a wildly emotional few days (weeks, really) this has been! But hopefully now that i
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4/24/2008 3:16:08 PM |
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Rule #62: Don't take yourself so damn seriously!!! Rule #62: Don't take yourself so damn serious
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4/21/2008 4:32:11 PM |
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This is comical. Since I wrote in here that I am no longer looking, I have received MORE emails than I did when I WAS looking. Apparently this needs repeating - I AM NOT LOOKING. PERIOD. This is comical. Since I wrote in here that I am no longer looking, I have received MORE
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4/5/2008 10:09:57 AM |
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'There is no sin, except stupidity.' ~Oscar Wilde Collarme.com - The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet
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3/28/2008 3:20:52 PM |
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PROOFREAD people.....PLEASE!!!! I'm coming across so many typos and grammatical mess-ups it's rather ludicrous. Sorry, but good spelling and grammar is important. Rant over now....thanks for reading lol. PROOFREAD people.....PLEASE!!!! I'm coming across so many typos and grammatical mess-ups
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2/28/2008 2:14:57 AM |
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Life is short. Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.Life is short. Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowl
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2/20/2008 4:10:24 PM |
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I'm getting annoyed with this site again. I also feel it necessary to mention that i do have a disability...it's mild but it is not something that will go away. If you are truly interested in getting to know me as a person and as a woman, feel free to contact me. I'm throwing this out there to see who is real and who is not.....if you can look beyond the physical and get to know me as a person, a woman and as a sub, I welcome that. Okay, rant over!!! I'm getting annoyed with this site again. I also feel it necessary to mention that i do
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5/11/2007 10:54:00 AM |
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I've managed to meet a select few who are, thankfully, NOT fakers....kinda restores my faith in the human race.... I've managed to meet a select few who are, thankfully, NOT fakers....kinda restores my faith i
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