Someone asked what kind of porn they enjoy, to which I answered ... As for me, I vastly prefer

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2/16/2010 2:54:24 AM

Someone asked what kind of porn they enjoy, to which I answered ... As for me, I vastly prefer male Dom where the lucky woman "appears" to
adoringly submit to the male, lovingly displaying her open-for-the-taker
charms. A close second is porn where the luckless lass appears to be
the unhappy slave girl who must submit and suck that large cock and make
her tits available for slapping back and forth. I also enjoy the
second-floor porn where the foreign women (Romanian?) are lead on a
leash in public and forced to suck on large cocks of the local
townsfolk. In all of these, I always insert myself as the Master of the
slave girl (loving, unwilling, or displayed) and imagine what I'd do
with her were she my slave tonight. The one kind of porn I
can't stand is I almost all Asian porn as the guys are just too
effeminate and minuscule for me to associate myself with. The Asian gals
are fantastic - but the men don't have the size or manhood to be
anything but ludicrous. Likewise, with Black porn, the woman are
generally fine to imagine as my ebony slave slut - but it's impossible
for me to insert myself as the man in the photograph. Of course, as
you'd expect to follow, interracial (White-on-black) porn is perfect as
is White-on-asian).
Someone asked what kind of porn they enjoy, to which I answered ... As for me, I vastly prefer

2/10/2010 9:30:46 AM
Happy Valentines Day. Methinks all the lady subs should stand nekked' before the Doms and have little hearts they cut out of lacy red paper pinned to each of their nipples in honor of the day, don'tcha' think? Or, do you have a better way to celebrate VD day today? Happy Valentines Day. Methinks all the lady subs should stand nekked' before the Doms and

2/3/2010 8:13:43 PM

I love having you be submissive, which, to me, means you allow all my transgressions (all of which are the soft type). It's the "ownership" and the "willing acceptance" that I really enjoy. I don't want coy, particularly artificial coy. I'd rather you allowed anything and everything than you played hard to get.If it sounds wonderful, note that I didn't even get to the part about explaining how I'd have you lie there, arms softly tied above your head so you wouldn't feel like you needed to do anything, a soft blindfold on so that you can only concentrate on your feelings, no expectation of reciprocation, you just relax and keep your lovely thighs apart as I nibble and lick for 45 minutes or more at your little rose petals and rosebud.First spelling out the alphabet on the little sensitive nub of a clitoris, I'd tuck the tip of my overdeveloped tongue under the hood to spell out A, then B, then C, then D, then E, then F, then ... on and on. At some point your gentle gyrations and perhaps a soft moan or two will betray which particular set of letters fits best for you, and I'd concentrate on them, perhaps spelling out the word "LOVER" over and over again in cursive flicks up and down and over and about.It would be especially erotic for me if you couldn't play with yourself (hands above or behind you) and therefore your entire multi-orgasmic pleasure was totally in my control. Ah, that's what I'd call a sensual evening!
I love having you be submissive, which, to me, means you allow all my transgressions (all of w

2/3/2010 8:12:16 PM

Ah, my fantasy evening. Pretty much it would be we'd be together and you would allow me to take my sweet time with you, hours and hours of play where I'd first undress you slowly, verrrrry slowly, making sure you just relaxed and stood there as I, perchance, brushed up against a nipple or two (accidentally on purpose, of course). You closed your eyes and held your arms at your sides as I swept my warm hands up and down the curve of your buns, and my fingers approached the sweet soft inside of your thighs, perhaps parting your legs slightly involuntarily to allow fuller access. You'd follow my lead as I gently laid you face down upon the bedsheets, eyes still closed and relaxed as I massaged your scalp soothingly, behind your ears, your tired neck muscles, your back, your arms, wrists, between the fingers (if you haven't had that massaged, you're in for a treat), your back, waist, buns, and again, oh those sweet inner thighs that are warm and soft enough to melt butter. Flipping you frontwise, after making my way down each leg to the toes (again, you'll be amazed at what an ankle massage feels like), I might use more than my very strong hands as I kissed and caressed you, perhaps at this point undressing myself, all the while you are prostrate before me, arms akimbo, legs slightly spread, awaiting my next move.I could go on, but, that's the start. What do you think?
Ah, my fantasy evening. Pretty much it would be we'd be together and you would allow me to tak

2/3/2010 8:01:57 PM

I've said it before so I won't belabor the issue. Real men outnumber
real women here and communications from men to women vastly outnumber
the other way around. The men are hunters; the women are pickers.
Some hunters will select their woman and learn all about them from
their profile, their posts, their photos, their proclivities, etc. ...
but most won't. Most men will simply fire as many darts as they can fire
in a day and then fire off as many the next day, and the next, and the
next ... all in the hopes of landing a bird or two out of the bush.
Those men reuse their communication weapons, i.e., they cut and
paste. PS: I'm not one of "those men" btw, as anyone who has
communicated with me can certainly attest to.
I've said it before so I won't belabor the issue. Real men outnumber real women here and com

2/1/2010 8:40:57 AM

On the topic of hairy pussies ... Look at the plethora of hairy ATK
girls porn sites; some of those lusciously overgrown bushes would
put a full-grown grizzly bear instantly to shame! Tons and tons of porn
sites showing hair pussies (ask me how I know) must indicate lots and
lots of guys go for the original intent of a hairy pussy to hold in
those delicious scents and flavors pointing to the good spots.
On the other hand (or leg, as it were), there are just as many, or
more, hairless pussy porn sites, which indicates what many people feel, which is that hairless pussies are just one personal
preference for some, but, not all. As for me, I don't care if your pussy is covered in fur or if it's as clean as a whistle, as long
as you scream loudly when I spell out the alphabet on your clit with my
tongue. (I do prefer clean, fragrant, and tasty though ... which may
have a slight association with at least somewhat trimmed hair).
On the topic of hairy pussies ... Look at the plethora of hairy ATK girls porn sites; some

1/31/2010 1:52:26 AM

Someone asked if it's ok to prefer a younger woman .. Methinks the natural tendency of our instinctive sexual urges is to desire that
which will provide the best chance of offspring surviving to
reproductive age themselves. We've lost sight of that goal
- but our genes haven't (it is instinct, after all). I'm sure of the
goal itself, but, I'm not sure of what comprises that goal. There are slight variations on our instinct, and certainly proclivities exist. But, for the most part, I'd assume men will prefer something like - younger (better chance of ovulation) - attractive (better chance of offspring being successful themselves)
- curvy (hips and thigh fat are good for the baby's nutrition I guess -
certainly tits "appear" to be for milk ... but in reality, human tits
sizes are not) - enjoy being treated like a dog (ok ... ok ... I added that one in 'cuz it's MY proclivity!) While women, I'm assuming, would prefer different characteristics - taller (better chance of meeting an alpha male better able to provide food & shelter & protection) - attractive (same as above)
- strong & socially adept (strength in self and strength in numbers
are good for a man's chance of providing food, shelter, &
protection) - huge penis size (ok ... ok ... I threw that one in because I WISH women would choose men based primarily on cock size!)
Summary ... perfectly natural to be sexually attracted to young'ish
women of child-bearing age ... (notice I didn't say 18 ... as 18 is an
arbitrarily large number which we speak of for legal reasons ... the
true age of child-bearing, especially in this well-fed nutritionally
early ovulating society ... is vastly younger I dare say.
Someone asked if it's ok to prefer a younger woman .. Methinks the natural tendency of our ins

1/26/2010 5:21:28 AM

I'm seeking a kinky sensual friend who is interested in playing a submissive role where you are enjoyed from head to toe.Always safe, sane, and consensual, I will lick your kitty for an hour, and provide another hour of erotic massage. You, my dear, you need only provide yourself and obey my directives. You will orgasm, I assure you. It matters not whether you're experienced or young or old - what is important is that you fulfill your desires and I fulfill mine. I want to passionately own your body for the time we're together, to lift your skirt and admire the succulent rose petals, to pat your soft ass sliding my rough hands down to the smoothness of your inner thighs, to hold both your tits, little or large, in my hand, feeling every inch, and especially concentrating on enjoying your sensitive nipples while you provide a gasp of pleasure as I suck them with my hands always busy on your sweet pussy. This is for a woman who wants to be liberated and enjoyed for exactly what she is; you probably tend toward pleasing others, a nurturing woman who wants for once to be the pampered object of both our desires. It's all about you. You. Your mind. Your body. Your orgasmic pleasure. And mine. Simply surrender your sweet body to me and I'll take care of the rest. A plus if you enjoy your pussy licked and your tits manhandled. Open to all, whether you're petite or bbw, asian or white, as long as you mentally provide your body to be enjoyed, from head to toe by someone who knows how to enjoy your tits, ass, thighs, even your hair and the little spaces between your fingers and toes - this is a whole-body mental experience of a lifetime for you and for me.
I'm seeking a kinky sensual friend who is interested in playing a submissive role where you ar

1/23/2010 7:28:32 PM

I've said before, that, I think it's just as hard for a guy to find the
"right" gal as for the gal to find the right guy - but the reasons and
ratios are different. For the guy: - The problem is finding "a" gal ... (out of the very few possibilities available) For the gal: - The problem is finding a "quality" guy ... (out of the vastly overwhelming possibilities available)
It reminds me of the problem of getting an "A" in college courses ... I
went to a liberal arts school, so, I took the (hard) sciences and the
(soft) humanities. Both were difficult to get an A but for vastly
different reasons. In Organic Chemistry, the tests were so hard you
could get an A with a 40 to 50% grade; while in Macroeconomics, the
tests were so easy that you practically had to be 99% right to squeak
by with an A since both are graded on a bell curve.
I've said before, that, I think it's just as hard for a guy to find the "right" gal

1/22/2010 4:57:44 AM

I'm curious what others' experiences are with respect to their search filters on CM for their particular area.
Out here, in the south bay of San Francisco, I consistently find that
only a score of female pervs fit my initial search criteria, the most
stringent of which is that they be female, within 25 miles of 95101,
and logged in within the past 3 months. That search gets me
about 20 people. So, it matters not that CM has millions of registered
users - the total number of available users (not counting relocatables)
is about twenty. Curious what YOUR search criteria nets you of people who have logged in in the past 3 months.
I'm curious what others' experiences are with respect to their search filters on CM for their

1/19/2010 3:06:08 AM

The first time I phoned a girl I liked, I was so nervous beforehand
that I wrote down questions to ask just in case the conversation
stalled.
I remember one of them even to this day ("do you have a dog") ...

In those days, boys barely used a phone ... it was all land-line, pre
caller-id, so, the hardest part (or so I thought) was handling the
initial screening. Heaven forbid her Mom or, worse, her Dad picked up
the phone and yelled to the house, in general "Judy, it's a boy!".

In the end, the phone call turned out to be easy, and relaxed
(except for the beginning heavy breathing). I ducked behind my parent's
bar, covered myself with a blanket so my nosy sisters wouldn't succeed
in spying on me, and, with my sheet questions in hand,
I called (half hoping nobody would pick up and I could then say, the
next day, that I had called but nobody answered (in those days, there
were no answering machines).Heh heh. Funny when I look back at how scary a simple phone call was. The first time I phoned a girl I liked, I was so nervous beforehand that I wrote down quest

1/18/2010 6:14:48 PM

Notwithstanding the strength of the I (i.e., a weak I or a strong I are
not the same with respect to social outgoingness'), the
collarme-predominant IN(T/F)J means four things: - I - Most collarme folks apparently prefer to "energize" alone (and not in the middle of Times Square) ...
- N - Most collarme folks don't take in a whole lott'a data; the base
their decisions on intuition more so than senseable facts ... -
T/F - It seems this bi-valent decision-making ability says they base
their decisions on a balance of thinking and feeling criteria ...
- J - And, most collarme folks (despite what you'd think) definitely
have a preference for how they want others to act around them ... That's about all I can say for the overwhelming majority who are on Collarme (based on the data in this thread). I think there was one, or maybe two (if that) ESTP's out there ... which makes me a huge minority ... at - E - Unlike most collarme folks (apparently), I energize with people ... put me in a room alone ...and I'll just die ...
- S - Again unlike most collarme pervs, I take in as much data as my
feeble brain and senses can handle before making a decision ... -
T - When I do make a decision, it's based on cold hard thinking facts -
feelings don't play a huge role in the decision ... it is what it is ..
- P - And, contrary to what you'd think, I, unlike most collarme
perverts, I prefer a world where anyone does whatever they like around
me ... There it is ... in a nutshell! :)
Notwithstanding the strength of the I (i.e., a weak I or a strong I are not the same with res

1/12/2010 6:55:58 AM

Here's my rough guess at what key factors affect the "law of S:D for meeting someone on CM".I'm assuming the main S:D factors for meeting someone are: Sex, Proclivity, Location, & Attraction SEX:
While females must make up approximately half the human population, for
some reason, a female is in much higher demand here than a male (my
humble experience). Likewise, males disproportionately hunt for females
online so the oversupply of males appears to be overwhelmingly larger
than that in real life. PROCLIVITY: I'm not sure what I'd
expect as a normal ratio of dominant to submissive on CM, but I'd wager
the Dom/Domme's outweigh the subs by some large ratio, perhaps 5:1 or
10:1 (I'm guessing - maybe someone has better stats). A male Dom might
have, I'd calculate, something like 1/20th to 1/100th the chance of
meeting someone here that a female sub could. LOCATION:
Additionally, our physical location would vastly affect the supply of
people to meet, face to face. I'm not sure what the geo-hotspots are
for our kinky predilections (that might be the topic of a future
thread), but I will assume that the kink-aware cities will have much
greater supplies per unit area than suburbia while the country farmer
would have to sheep around a bit more. ATTRACTION: I'm
assuming advertised physical & mental attraction will likewise
affect our chances of actually meeting someone, but only after the
first three determinants are met. For example, a comely local
submissive waif and a handsome nearby dominant stud each might have
greater chances of physically meeting someone than the average
curlers-in-her-hair housewife (even so, she'll be inundated with
responses worldwide) or the lowly average working joe (who has the
hardest time of all). I suspect it matters less whether a
submissive female is mentally astute (as she'll be in demand
nonetheless based on prior criteria); but I assume it matters greatly
for the average-looking joe that his mental abilities be well over par
in order to even the odds against him ... Nonetheless, for males, their
overall hunting ability will be the main determinant (often evening the
odds by sheer attempts!). Putting that together, it's hard to give it an algorithmic scale, but I'll go out on a limb and try: While the selection criteria is distributive, I'm making the summary commutative for simplicity. Sex: Give women a few points for starters, say +5 to start; men start below par, say at -2. Proclivity: Add a point or two for submissive tendencies; subtract a point or two for Dominants. Location:
Difficult to say, but kink-friendly hotspot cities get a point or two;
suburbia adds nothing; and the deep countryside loses a point or two. Attraction: The physical:mental attraction scale is different for females versus males.
For females, looks rule. Younger & thinner (I'm guessing at, say,
size 6 or below) adds 5 points; older and thicker (let's say size 8 or
above) adds 4 points; anything else (purely for simplicity because I'm
already on a limb here), let's say adds 3 points. For the ladies,
mental attraction to males seems to be more one of her attitude than
her sheer intelligence, although a dumb blonde with a nasty attitude
still will get lots of attempts at her favors nonetheless.
For males, the scale is much easier to quantify: Basically four
criteria will rule: physical, financial, mental, & available.
Physically, the man who is tall and fit wins out of the short, and out
of breath by less than one would think, say add two points; financially
successful wins the cake, adding a whopping 6 or 10 points to the mix;
while mental acuity also
- Financial:
- Mental:
- Available:

wealthy/successful & fit & astute adds 4 points; and subtract a
point for each of those you don't embody (i.e., if you're neither tall,
nor wealthy, nor fit, nor overly astute, you get -1 -1 -1 -1 for a
total of 0 additional points. Intelligence is always a difficult factor
to quantify but it's much more important in the male (since there are
so very many of them) than it is for the female. Of course,
all this depends on how you measure so we can really only talk in
generalities ... but I'm assuming that the laws of supply and demand
truly hold, even for finding someone on CM to meet and enjoy. Whether
or not MY proposed algorithm is accurate. ... there must be (right?) an
algorithm that should describe the supply and demand curve for meeting
someone on CM!What do YOU think the basic S:D criteria are for meeting someone here on CM?
Here's my rough guess at what key factors affect the "law of S:D for meeting someone on C

1/8/2010 3:54:54 AM

I love reading the history of slavery, and I've seen the slaves
preserved in Pompeii. It is my fantasy to be in the Roman era, owning
an obedient slave as cherished property, much as we today own our well
cared for automobile and motorcycle, each for use and pleasure.Particularly,
I'm fond of placing a collar and leash on a bound lady whose nature is
to serve and please, preferably on her hands and knees with her tits
hanging down and her buns invitingly up in the air.
I love reading the history of slavery, and I've seen the slaves preserved in Pompeii. It is m

1/3/2010 6:25:24 PM

I love the concept of recently bought slave girl who, timidly and perhaps with a bit of trepidation, is "inspected" by her new owner, and brought through her paces. We'd start right away, I'd hold you close to me, peck you on the cheek for a quick kiss, hold your hand and take you to the room. The lights would be dimmed, the heat sufficient that you'd be warm an comfortable, and you'd be told to stand there for my first "inspection". Arms at your side, or better yet, restrained behind with soft fur-lined cuffs, I'd first begin to take liberties with your body as a buyer would with a prospective slave at the proverbial slave auction. I'd first run my hands from top to bottom (spending extra time on your bottom) to get the overall dimensions into my hand memory then I'd pick a lovely soft spot, perhaps a nicely moistened one, and then caress the outside lips, moving further inward to spread them apart, as you unconsciously widen a bit to allow easier access to my probing hands. As my hands delve deeper, your unwittingly physiological reaction will betray your very reaction to me, despite
what expression or stoic demeanor you attempt to maintain.

As I delve deeply into the moist recess with one hand, the other will probe a tit or two ... yes, no body part is exempt as I twist your nipple lightly in the tips of my fingers to see, hear, and feel your lovely reaction to my grasp, fine tuning it to ebb with the tides of your breathing ... as I gauged the feelings and reactions of my new slave girl.

Ah, I could go on ... and on ...
I love the concept of recently bought slave girl who, timidly and perhaps with a bit of trep

11/2/2009 7:56:18 PM

Speaking of mixing, indeed, slaves were the norm throughout mankind'shistory, and, the Italian mainland and islands were no exception. I,for one, were I to own a buxom slave girl, would make use of herlavish delights daily. She'd be trained to obey and supply her suppledelights to me whenever I wanted, which, of course, would be morning,evening, and night. Heh heh.At times, I would gently suckle my captive babe's tits, stroking themendlessly, her hands perhaps bound behind her back, her ankles tied,so that she could only supply me with her smooth soft body, supply mylips with her tits, as I fondle them incessantly. If she were, thisslave girl of mine, if she were to become aroused, it would be ofinterest to me, as I would continue to play with her nipples, lickingthem with my warm mouth, and lightly twisting the nipples, almostabsent mindedly in the grip of my forefinger and thumb. Perhaps I'deven adorn her tits with little bells, so that she tinkled as shemoved, as her tits swayed, as my hands felt for the underside, thelush sides, the thick heft of these luscious tits of mine.If she were lactating, perhaps for breakfast I'd have her milk them,in front of me, in my morning latte. She'd be forced to walk around,totally naked, and told to perform exercises, to keep fit mind you,such as toe touching and jumping jacks ... anything that accentuatesthe motion and availability of her tits to my eye, hands, and mouth.Tell me my dear, are your nipples so sensitive that they respond wellor badly to light clover clamps? Again, if I am too bold, pleasesimply let me know - but I am curious how you enjoy your nippleshandled. I, for one, love to get a reaction out of you, a slight yelp,a little gasp, not an annoying feeling, but, a sudden one where youknow I am there and appreciating all that your tits have to offer me.
Speaking of mixing, indeed, slaves were the norm throughout mankind'shistory, and, the Italian

10/22/2009 7:43:02 AM
Sometimes I just have to step away from Collarme ... same stuff ... until YOU come along to excite the flame! Sometimes I just have to step away from Collarme ... same stuff ... until YOU come along to ex

9/16/2009 5:20:56 PM

People ask ... why do older Dom (men) often seek younger submissive (women) ...
Here's why. In this case, I defer to biology and value. Putting it together the Dom
(man) when he was young may have had no money and a wonderful body ...
and, well, that plus a few bucks would get him a cup of coffee. The
women (younger or older) didn't value him for his biology. And, he
didn't have anything but, say, a college degree, which, at that stage
in his life, so did everyone else he knew (depending on his circle of
friends of course). Nonetheless, the point is his biology didn't help
him all that much.

Switch over to the woman, and, well, guess what. She starts with the
same demographics but she has BIOLOGY on her side. Yup. Everyone wants
her. Both the younger men (who can't have her) and the older men (who
can ... I'll get to why in a sec.). So, she has value. Without any
effort (well, assuming she was naturally pretty but do realize women
spend a hellovalot of effort to look pretty). Nonetheless, she's young,
she's beautiful, and, well, she has value just because of that. People
practically follow her in the streets to get to know her, to talk to
her, to do her a favor, to be friends with her.

Now, take that poor schmuck of a guy whose biology did nothing for him.
He has drive. He has ambition. He wants to have others look up to him,
to admire him, to obey him, to follow him. So what does he do? So, he
works toward something. He makes a career out of it. He works his
fingers to the bone at whatever it is he can do better than anyone
else. He travels the world. He starts a business. He earns another
degree. He takes risks. He invests. Whatever he does, it's to get ahead
in the world, but, also to get attention. He has to BUILD VALUE (it's
not there just by biology alone). So, what does he do? He builds value.

Let's cut to the quick and fast forward to the question. You have four
people. Older guy. Younger guy. Older woman. Younger woman. Where are
they after all these years?

Younger guy: He has no value. He's the loser here (until thirty or forty years from now)
Younger woman: She STILL has it made (only she's a new 20-something fresh out of school and looking for a rich guy)
Older guy: Finally, after many decades, he's earned his house on the hill, the powerful friends, the money to make it happen.
Older woman: Pity the older woman. She still has residual biology on
her side, and she will forever - but pit her against a 28-year-old and
she's gonna have a challenge to keep up.

Now, mind you, this is just one scenario and any one person can take
their life in the direction they want to ... but, if you really wanna
know why you find older Dom (guy) and younger sub (woman) ... look at
the paragraphs above to begin forming your hypothesis.

As always, YMMV,
Pompeii
People ask ... why do older Dom (men) often seek younger submissive (women) ... Here's why.

9/15/2009 1:03:25 AM

People ask "why don't you tell your vanilla partner you like BDSM"? They say "it's your partner ... speak your mind" but they are forgetting that there are many personalities out there (see the thread on personalities of collarme inhabitants, for example) ... and that this be-honest approach only works with some ... and those some, MUST have an open mind.
Mind you that's MOST of the partners out there ... but, certainly not
all, especially those partners who are more J than others on how they
expect others to act (J = Judging) ... Likewise, some are more I than
others (I = Intuition) ... Putting that together, if the
partner is highly I and highly J, and IF their intuition tells them
that BDSM is perverse and yucky, then there is nothing on this planet
that will change their mind. Especially if they are also highly J and
IF they expect others to act in a way that has nothing to do with D/s -
again, you're doomed. So, DEPENDING ON THE PARTNER, honesty
might work - or it might doom you. You just CAN NOT tell your partner
of your D/s interest if your partner has such a rigid attitude toward
D/s pursuits. It's not your fault - it's theirs ... but you have to
deal with it appropriately. And telling them is the LAST thing you can
do to win 'em over. I know people will fault me for saying
all this (they'll say "then why is it your partner is that way") but,
hell, you make mistakes in life that follow you for the rest of your
life, and choosing rigid partners is one of 'em for some people.
People ask "why don't you tell your vanilla partner you like BDSM"? They say "i

9/10/2009 4:00:21 AM

Interesting. Being a guy, being logical, reasonable, and looking for a
"real" person (not a spambot or chat buddy or pic collector, etc.) ...
my experience dictates that the profiles become one-shot rather-useless
initiation rites - yet not much more (YMMV). In fact,
regarding the information in my profile itself, I never even look at my
profile, written looong ago, and just left there, almost as simply as
an initiation requirement for admission into the club. I don't even
know what my profile says anymore - nor what age it's listing me.
I've even almost given up on believing anything in anyone else's
profile, mostly because 90-something percent of the "best" profiles are
spam (probably closer to 100%), which certainly leaves a few profiles
worth perusing who are local and "real". I'd wager, even though I'm in
a kink-aware location of the planet, still perhaps, at most, there are
from a dozen to a few score "real" profiles of people who would be
interested in me and whom I'd be interested in. Of that few
score, if you sort by "last on", fewer than a dozen typically will have
logged in within the last year (according to my saved search criteria
which is pretty general and broad, e.g., "female", "submissive or
switch", looking for "dominant men", "under 150 pounds", etc.,.
Notice that leaves me with always the same local hits (generally,
unless someone newly logs in from the wild blue yonder) over and over
and over and over again. Well, it doesn't take too long to respond to a
dozen profiles at most, and, well, I've carried on just about that many
conversations, so, at this point, who needs to read "their" profile
either. (Albeit once in a while folks do post new intriguing pictures
or comments which catch my eye - and I try to applaud them for that
effort.) Mostly what I do for the dozen or so "profile
hits" that have a reasonable chance of success, is I read the ladies'
forum posts and journal entries. The good news there is that if they've
recently logged in, then there's a better chanced they have forum posts
and journal entries - so I base my assessment of them on three items: - Forum Posts - Journal Entries - Personal Email Responses
Notice the profile information is the least meaningful of what I use.
Of course, I'm not all that successful in finding someone to please and
be pleased by (finding Craigslist vastly more useful for real-life
meetings by a longshot) - but that doesn't stop me from learning from
and contributing to the message boards! :) On the other
hand, I do realize there are many men who, in the worst case, log into
Collarme and view all the thousands of "available women" in the picture
sort that pops up in the beginning and then, notwithstanding what the
profile says or whether they lady has logged in within the past century
or posted forum articles or journal entries, reads just the profile (if
that), and then sends off a "wanna fuck" letter to her, and every
single other possible profile (this could keep the guy busy for a week
or more, given the hundreds, nay, maybe thousands of "available women"
that Collarme offers). After, say, a hundred or two hundred emails,
guess what? The troll will get a hit or three. He'll work those three
... but again, notice that the profile was the least of the criteria
(just being female and having an address on CM was all that really
mattered). Oh, but I digress (as I am wont to do, my brain
firing in all directions, as usual) ... In summary, the profile, for
me, isn't all that important in that I don't even know what's on mine
and I read forum posts and journal entries and use don't ever respond
to anyone who hasn't been active - and well - that leaves only a
handful of profiles whom I've already contacted and gotten to know. Of
course, your mileage may vary. Ciao, Pompeii PS: No wonder women complain that some men don't read their profile and respond specifically to it.
Interesting. Being a guy, being logical, reasonable, and looking for a "real" perso

9/9/2009 7:11:22 AM

Of course all women are different ... and all subs are as diverse as the branches on two different trees ...
However, I think it's wonderful that even every single vagina is
lusciously different from all others, both in look & feel and in
the way she responds to our various D/s endeavors. Even
more fascinating is how two breasts on the same lady are as different
as twin sisters' personalities - which is why every set of tits reacts
differently to our BDSM efforts. Having always elicited
pure fascination from me ... I don't really have a question ... other
than to wonder if you feel the same way and why we find each one so
very fascinatingly diverse?
Of course all women are different ... and all subs are as diverse as the branches on two diffe

9/8/2009 3:10:53 AM

There was a thread somewhere which I felt might have gotten us closer
to how the bulk of us got to where we are.This thread discussed "imprinting" at an early age, which, perhaps,
affects the nascent active wiring that is constantly going on in a
young brain.

The hypothesis is that, at a critical stage of the
wiring, "something" occurs to "imprint" upon your neurons the
particular predilection that becomes ingrained into your personality.

Dunno if the argument holds water; but I blame early childhood imprinting as the origin of my particular D/s deviancy!
There was a thread somewhere which I felt might have gotten us closer to how the bulk of us g

8/29/2009 7:23:35 PM

Methinks it's highly erotic to have a "domestic slave", defined, for
and by me as a naked female submissive who obediently performs menial
chores around the house, and, if/when she displeases me, she is
punished erotically for her transgressions. If she's down
on all fours, her sweet buns twitch invitingly in the air, tits
swinging below her as her bound hands together, in unison, swish a
too-small wet cloth to wash the floor beneath my feet in gently swirls
that swing her tits in rhythmic motion that pleases me (pictures here by way of erotic example).
The best part is when she leaves the inevitable spot on the dishes or
missed spot on the floor. Then she gets punished in a way where she
must show herself unprotected and she is mildly punished erotically,
whether it be a tit slapping or buns spanking or even penance by
sucking the man tube for breakfast in the morning (a punishment example
here).
Methinks it's highly erotic to have a "domestic slave", defined, for and by me as a

8/19/2009 4:30:41 AM

Here's a recent letter to a newbie which shows a bit of my attitude...Hi <newbie>, Let's think about your three forum posts and your profile (which
is about all I can tell at the moment about you and your luscious
needs)...
Your profile indicates you're a "newbie", which, to a top is a
wonderful thing because we all love to instruct and command and to
teach the ways of wonderment. You are definitely interested in the
enjoyment of our special D/s eroticism but you make it clear you prefer
the softer side of the game, and not the hard-core (Note: If you read
my posts, journal entries, and profile, you'll see I'm a soft top).
BTW, the upper/lower case Top/bottom Dom/sub He/she stuff is obnoxious
so I won't be using it except where generally recognized as symbolic
(e.g., D/s is a symbol).
Your first post, explaining to vanilla, came across as subtlety sweet,
a bit long on the lower case, but wonderfully active on the submission,
especially the willingness to bend over, as commanded, and supply your
derriere for a nice glowingly red warmup, all tingly and bouncy in my
hands (we men always extrapolate and place ourselves in the situation
of being your instructor). I especially enjoyed your need and desire to
experience the ecstasy of being bound while brought to orgasm; I love
that side of you as it innervates me to the core. Most importantly, you
seemed to realize, what we have, is this wonderful set of passions is
not for everyone, yet it's not "freakish" (your bf just wasn't into
it); we're all into it, and none of us would consider it freaky. On the
contrary, it's quite normal. It's a wonderfully cerebral enjoyment that
you do seem to understand quite well. Your closing line was wonderful:
The enjoyment of your body and mind is what we're after!
Your next post, on making a D/s relationship work in a normal house was
kind'a cryptic, 'cuz it seems to respond to a prior response that I
don't see so I'll skip that other than to note the symbiosis with the
first post that the trick is to mix normal with D/s in a seamless way
so that the outside world is oblivious for the most part to the
eroticism inside.
Lastly, the rape fantasy ad discussion was a sign that you're perfectly
normal in all respects reasonable. You clearly delved right to the
core. If it's not consensual, it's rape. Nothing else matters. Whether
an advertisement was used or not, it's just a red herring. The issue,
as you correctly delineated it, was whether the "play" was consensual.
You replied quite well in saying people need to take responsibility for
their actions.
Very erotic, your mind. Verrrrry erotic.
Ciao,
Pompeii
Here's a recent letter to a newbie which shows a bit of my attitude...Hi <newbie>, Let's

8/16/2009 4:22:15 AM

It would be nice to twitter a clit ...

I envision a small radio in her panties ... whenever I'm thinking of her ... that way ... I twitter to her panties and it vibrates based on my words that I twitter.

Her wetness response is transmitted back in a signal-strength meter kind of way so that I can tell what's working and what needs to be reinforced. If she removes the panties, it beeps a loud warning for all to hear. It would be nice to twitter a clit ... I envision a small radio in her panties ... whenev

5/31/2009 3:13:41 AM

I finally realized the germ of why I never understood "collaring".
For me, a collar is a tool to control the sub's body and to enjoy the
view of her in bondage ... not a symbol of anything whatsoever. The "unsymbolic" collar, to me, is no more "symbolic" than the sub's fur-lined cuffs or her bright red ball gag.
Sure, anything on a lovely sub's neck with a leash attached looks great from an erotic standpoint,
and, of course, that sight arouses me to no end, but I wouldn't consider "cuffing" her or
"ballgagging" her to be a symbolic gesture any more than putting a
collar on her.Interesting the things we learn here on Collarme!
I finally realized the germ of why I never understood "collaring". For me, a col

4/17/2009 3:55:07 AM

I've been thinking of a new career ... and, well, slave training ... now that's a new vocation.

I could set up a farm, private, fenced in, hundreds of acres, and,
well, I could accept applicants, well heeled but we'd have a
scholarship program for the needy. We'd bring new recruits every two
weeks by the half dozen, into the foyer for their initial 10am
orientation lecture and signing papers. Once contractuallyl signed in,
they would dutifully head off single file to the living room for their
first of many to come lineup inspections. Obediently placing their
hands above their heads, the attentive and focused staff would circle
them, grunting "ah hah" with a slow nod of the head, or "anh anh eee",
with a wistful side-to-side motion as a graduate slave kept notes on
the particulars for each student slave being inspected by the Master
Master which will go into their pedigree papers and will be held in
perpetuity whenever a reference is required.

The Headmaster will smack an ass of a student, to see her reaction as
she is startled by the force. He'd lift the skirt of another whose legs
were held wide and poke at her hole with his pointer to gauge the
opening. Somehow, he seemed to have the right experience to know to
which use each might be best suited. He'd open the blouse of a
particularly big-titted one and twist her nipple almost 270 degrees and
nod appreciatively as she responds wondrously, each time, a notation
being placed in various columns of the checklist for each slave.
Another was told to bend before them, exposing her anus, where ginger
roots were inserted as she was told to get back in line and wait.
Finally, after the obligatory group spanking as they sang the school
song (the spanking was just so they know what punishment will feel like
when they do do something wrong), the girls were collared and leashed,
and each assigned to a waiting Master-in-training, who will take them
through their two-week course in how to be a good slave.One by one, off
they go, on all fours, to eat dinner, out of the doggy bowl at the side
of their newly assigned Master in training as he sits down to a
sumptuous dinner prepared by graduate slave trainees on an internship
program.

All but one ... She is still pensively standing there, alone, afraid,
for an hour, then another, well after the others left on their knees.
Her blindfold now starting to feel warmly reassuring, her cuffs fitting
nicely but restricting her movement as she kneeled arms behind linked
to her ankles. Wondering what is to be done with her. Half naked in the
chilly room, too afraid to move (the last command being to stand there
until told otherwise), the smell of dinner long ago wafting into her
hungry senses, she obediently waits, her nipples still hard from her
tweaking test, her soft ass and warm thighs no longer stinging from the
spanking, the block of pine still in her mouth, starting to taste
reassuring as her teeth have made perfect indendations, she waits. And
waits. Finally she hears a rustling becoming aware of someone else in
the room. How long has he been there she knows not, but, her shoulders
droop with relief. ... her Master has finally arrived to take her into
training.
I've been thinking of a new career ... and, well, slave training ... now that's a new vocation

4/14/2009 2:28:34 PM

What is your typical Collarme search & how good are your results?
My typical Collarme search for a play partner only finds a dozen decent
"hits"; and only half of those meet basic play-with-me criteria. Here is my search:
Search for (Gender=Female); (Orientation=Any); (State=California);
(Sexuality=All); (Ethnicity=Any); (Age Range=35 to 60); (Max Weight=140
pounds); (Min Height=Any); (Max Distance=25 miles); (They are
Seeking=Dominant Men); (List As=Text List); (Sort By=Last On). Here are my results:
Exactly 12 women of all Collarme, who have logged on at least once this
year (2009), meet this simple criteria ... so despite all the promises,
I might conclude there aren't many available active women on Collarme
(at least in any reasonable distance from me). In fact, there are only
a dozen potential partners for me here on Collarme. Worse yet, if I
refine the basic search to "Submissive" and "Straight", which is my
preference, the number drops down to just over a half dozen for all the
thousands on Collarme. Sadly, this is very limiting. Or is it? MY QUESTION TO YOU: Is this a typical search? (What search conditions do you use, and why?) Are these typical search results? (What are your results and how do you deal with them?) Ciao, Pompeii Note 1: "Orientation" is done as "Any" because CM doesn't allow the combination of both "Switches & Submissives".
Note 2: "State" is redundant with "Distance" (makes no sense to me that
they'd both be there); for CA, the state field is essentially useless
anyway. Note 3: "Sexuality" is done as "All" because CM doesn't allow the combination of both "Straight & Bisexual".
Note 4: "Age" range is plus/minus a few years around my age (but I'd
never go below 30 because of the huge spam in the twenties). Note 5: "Max Weight" should really be a body type field because of height-to-weight ratios drastically affecting poundage. Note 6: "Min Height" is ridiculous as it mainly applies to women-seeking-men searches and not men-seeking-women searches (see this post for details).
Collarme should have a corresponding "maximum height" search field in
order to realistically apply to men seeking women (read that post to
see overwhelming evidence for what I infer). Note 7: "Max
Distance" is one of the most important fields for meeting a real person
for a relationship (basically, for me, it has to be close). Note 8: "Text List" is basically required because without that, only one or two profiles show up (only those with photos).
Note 9: Sort by Last On is also essentially required because there are
profiles that haven't been logged into in years; those would be a waste
of time to pursue.
What is your typical Collarme search & how good are your results? My typical Collarme

4/12/2009 2:01:23 PM
I'm back after a hiatus ... not sure what the reasons are ... but let's see whom I can meet (hopefully someone compatible and local and in a similar situation as I am) I'm back after a hiatus ... not sure what the reasons are ... but let's see whom I can meet (h

2/17/2009 3:07:45 AM
For some reason ... I'm starting to get less interested in CM. Most likely 'cuz I haven't met someone local to actually meet. Sigh. For some reason ... I'm starting to get less interested in CM. Most likely 'cuz I haven't met

2/10/2009 10:07:42 AM

Does anyone else get bored with Collarme forum posts after about a year?
In the beginning, about a year ago, Collarme was great as I could get
my critically important questions answered, with new insight, from
experienced kinksters; then, it remained interesting, as I delved into
various and sundry topics; yet, recently, after about a year of
perusing the boards, Collarme seems almost mundane to me. Many of the
questions (even mine) seem to have been asked and answered before; much
of the discussion appears in the record prior ... it just ... well ...
it's just less interesting, I guess ... is the nicest way I can put it.
My libido hasn't changed (that I know of), and, my
circumstances are about the same (ok, so I got laid off, paid well, and
then found a new job after three months and I had a wonderfully kinky
girlfriend for a brief period during that time but that's pretty normal
stuff for most people). Assuming nothing else (in me) has changed, then
I wonder (to myself) why Collarme is just a lot less interesting to me
(I don't think Collarme changed in that time period).
Partly it may be due to the allure wearing off ... for example,
clicking through profile by photo is a great teaser but the reality is
something altogether different as are the discussions in the collarme
email that come my way, most, if not all, of which peter out after a
half dozen or so exchanges w/o meeting. Maybe reality sinks in? Maybe
I've heard it all? Dunno. Is this typical? Has this
happened to others? Do you ever get the "second wind"? Or does Collarme
just fade away (hopefully to be replaced by something anew)?
Does anyone else get bored with Collarme forum posts after about a year? In the beginning,

1/16/2009 4:21:34 AM

To yet another "why can't I find anyone on CM" ... 1. Don't get fooled by the pretty pics2. Don't get your hopes up too high by the pretty pics3. Don't widen your scope to encompass even more pretty pics4. Don't expect much from a pretty pic that has zero forum posts5. Don't expect anything from a pretty pic that is under 30 year old6. Likewise with a pretty pic waif that just wants to suck your cock and serve you... ... ... I could go on and on, with or without double spaces, and the theme would be the same.IMHO,
you're not going to find anyone on CM ... well, that's not true, but,
if you don't do what I wrote above, then you're not going to find
anyone (ok, ream me for the double negs) ... Point is, the
pretty pics of the 20-year-old waifs are just pretty pics,
D-E-S-I-G-N-E-D to get your attention ... very few are real (if any).
You can follow that red herring until the end of time and it's not
going to get you anywhere. Likewise with any real waif who just wants
to suck your cock into oblivion. How many guys do you think are taking
"her" up on her offer, even if on the off chance, she is real? Scores a
day. Any "perfect" ad will have hundreds of responses ... you're just
one of hundreds ... just like in real life. Don't expect it to be any
different here. The distance thing goes with the age thing.
Don't even consider anyone outside, say, 20 miles from your location.
I'm serious. Yes, I've read all about the long-distance relationships,
even some that were fostered on CM, but, really, just like in the real
world, when you have limited time and energy, you don't want to waste
it on people on another continent if what you're looking for is a D/s
relationship. Sure, I know I'll get flamed for this, as even I converse
with gals a continent or two away on CM, but, it's just that. A
conversation. You will rarely meet someone who is that far away, and,
if you do, that's great, but, first deal with the locals.Oh,
but there aren't any locals, who have pretty pics, who are 20-something
little waifs and who just want to serve your every command?Welcome back to the real world! :)

To yet another "why can't I find anyone on CM" ... 1. Don't get fooled by the pretty

1/10/2009 7:31:37 PM

Ok, so you're a dominant male looking for a submissive woman. Join the
crowd. Really. I mean this sincerely. You gotta realize what it is that
you are. Specifically, realize there are ten thousand men in front of
you and ten thousand more behind. Another ten or twenty thousand to
each side. Get that point, first, and foremost, and you'll stay sane.
You only need one woman so treat this like a fishing
expedition where there are hundreds of thousands of similar looking
boats yet you gotta catch your prize. Now, next step is
finding that womanly prize to "play" with. Hell, you're a young guy,
so, find a young gal somewhere around your age. Either pop a few hints
to the local college crowd nearby or place an ad or three in the local
craigslist. That'll get you a few responses. Only be wary, the tide is
turned when it comes to young women placing ads ... they're overwhelmed
100:1 by the spammers/scammers/picture collectors. So, if you're
answering an ad reputedly placed by an 18-year-old vixen, bear in mind
the real author is a fat chubby guy with greasy fingers from typing
away impersonating young lovely lasses. Luckily, when I search, I'm
typing up in the 40 and 50 year old range, and the spamscammers have
wilted away mostly such that the junk-to-real ratio drops down to a
reasonable 10:1 instead of hundreds to one for your age group. Better
to place an ad yourself, but, again bear in mind, always, that there
are ten thousand ads before yours and another ten thousand that will
follow seconds later. So, learn to be prolific. It's your main weapon
against the hordes of other dominant horny men. OK, so you got a hit after all that. Woo hoo! Oooh la la! Now you're cooking! Not!
Nope, you gotta woo this baby, you gotta reel her in, you gotta be
attentive ... you gotta be a man. Work her. Date her. Talk to her.
Listen to her. Kiss her. Give her presents. (If this sounds like a
lotta work, it is.) Tease her. And, if you finally get her into bed,
then hold her down and test her for her submissive tendencies. I'd
wager 80% of the babes will balk and 10% will only play the most
vanilla of kink but if you're lucky, you got a ringer. She's a
kinkster, if she's in that last 10 percent. Woo hoo. Keep that baby.
Work her 'till she never wants to look at another guy again.
If she's not kinky, and if that's still what you're lookin' for, then
go back to the beginning and start all over. Welcome to the world of
dating. After 20 or more years of this, you'll get the hang of it. Good
luck!

Ok, so you're a dominant male looking for a submissive woman. Join the crowd. Really. I mean

1/8/2009 5:49:30 AM

I wish. I really do wish that women would, for once, look at us as
purely sex objects so that we could get women stopping by to talk to us
while we walk down the streets, all of us parading our v-shaped fly
with all but the head of our cock showing down the leg. Women would
turn their heads to look, in this alternate world, and each guy would
be sized up for size instantly, the bigger and fuller, the better.
Heck, we'd even compete with each other on those formal nights out by
adding padded pushups to make our cocks seem bigger and fuller than
they already are. And, when it's warm (instead of when it's cold), our
heads would stick out like women's nipples do when it's cold ... just
to add some erotic excitement to the other half around the workplace
like they deliciously torture us with everyday with their nipples.
Of course, we'd wear frilly underpants, with little strings to hold our
cocks out to view in just the right ways so women would avert their
gaze when talking to us and we'd say "look us in the eyes please" but
they couldn't help it, diving down with their eyes to our luscious
cocks that they just dream of slapping around and their brain can only
think of licking and sucking us while we're talking to them about
something mundane like our personal feelings ... just like we do with
their tits every day. Ah ... if only ... if only ...
I wish. I really do wish that women would, for once, look at us as purely sex objects so that

1/7/2009 11:34:32 PM

At the risk of sounding impertinent, I have a large cock (magnum XL ...
not just regular-sized Magnums for example) and it really does not
matter to women all that much in my humble opinion. Why not? Well, by
the time a woman gazes at my cock, I'm already there and other skills
(like my cunning lingus repertoire for example) take precedent. Sure, I
get the "wow, you supaman" four-fisted OMG measur-up from the Asians,
but, hell, they're used to teeny tiny frankfurters so you can write
that off as a novelty to them. Likewise, when I used to frequent the
sex clubs, I'd have to sling my cock straight up outt'a my pants way
past my navel and women would ask "what's that?" (I'm serious ... I
guess they're not used to a long-lasting hard on sticking up thru a
shirt that way), and I'd just smile, but, note, it didn't get me any
more laid than anything else did. For example, I've seen
the gasps from women who tell me there's no way that's going up the
anal alley (which it can do but only after great exertions and lube),
so, in a way, it's a detriment in the backsides. Of course, it also
bottoms out on almost every caucasian woman (the Asians I'll exclude
because they fling their hands up and scream in pain all the time so
who knows when they're actually meaning it), so, most caucasian women
tell me to please take it slowly (multiple times as that's a message
that gets lost in the translation). And, as yet another
detriment, extremely few women can get my cock all the way down like
Linda Lovelace seems to have, so, I'm forced to live with the head
teasers. I'm not complaining (don't get me wrong), I'm just saying it's
isn't all its cracked up to be to be in the magnum XL crowd, that's
all. My fundamental summary of the big-cock situation is
that by the time a woman sees your cock, you've already gotten to the
point where size no longer matters. I wish, I really do, that cock size
was like breast size, where anytime I wanted attention from the
opposite sex I'd just wear v-shaped pants and everyone would be turning
their head to look at me, but, sigh, alas, women aren't men so my
natural codpiece doesn't get the glory (I wish) it could. Sigh.
At the risk of sounding impertinent, I have a large cock (magnum XL ... not just regular-size

1/6/2009 5:29:43 AM

A person hurt is, as Ben Franklin put it wisely regarding the
fundamental feeling of trust, like a mended porcelain teacup ..... you
can always put your life back together but the mended personality will
never be the pristine innocence it once was and never can be. This is
normal. All of us, in our lives, have these experiences
which break our innocence - and it's up to us to glue the fragile
teacup of our personalities back together. The ones who make the most
usable teacup are the winners in the end.
A person hurt is, as Ben Franklin put it wisely regarding the fundamental feeling of trust, l

1/3/2009 8:22:12 PM

Pastel colors. Used to be, AFAIK, that men didn't wear pink. So, when
you saw a hint of pink, perhaps walking at a distance, the sight kept
your eye interested and you kept your focus on "her" until you could
see more than just color. Same thing with a slit skirt ... just the
hint of being able to see more thigh kept you more interested, and you
focused more on her to the exclusion of another sans the slit skirt.
Again, same thing with long healthy flowing hair, which is, IMHO, an
unconscious sexual "flag" used to portray a vivacious female,
typically, some would argue, the actual length and color of this 'flag'
reverse trending with age and therefore ovarian viability. Sure, the
strategy is totally subconscious ... nobody goes out saying "I'm going
to flag my healthy ovaries tonight", but, that's what they do,
biologically speaking, nonetheless IMHO (YMMV of course). And, this, my
dear, is what keeps men interested in women, to the exclusion of more
productive pastimes, like fixing a car or playing a game of football,
none of which furthers the species reproductively. Having
said that, some men have clearly just as unintentionally "ruined" it
for the rest of us, for example, by desecrating the pastel-color rule,
simply by wearing them, and "fooling" us one time too many, so, no
longer does the mere glimpse of a bright flower-colored blouse begin to
fill our hydraulics with self-erecting fluids. Likewise with the
long-hair flag. Sigh. Men have "tricked" us so many times, over the
years, particularly thinner and more effiminate looking men, that it's
often no longer the self-proclaimed flag it used to be.
Luckily, for now, today's men haven't discovered flowery lace, short
skirts, or high heels! Only women wear lace & high heels (18th
century frills notwithstanding), so, lace & heels and short skirts,
in and of themselves, are still some of the few purely feminine
sundries which still signal a woman's sensual earthiness by the mere
sight of them! Thank God!
Pastel colors. Used to be, AFAIK, that men didn't wear pink. So, when you saw a hint of pink,

12/19/2008 5:31:22 AM

I wrote this, just now, to a CM friend from afar ... and figured it apropos for the Journal ... If we meet, we may as well play, so, now it comes to what play
activities you enjoy. As you noted, I'm perfectly sane, perhaps .. just
maybe ... too sane for this eclectic crowd (laughs). I enjoy submission
from you in the bedroom ... your tits in my hand, and trust, unwavering
trust. What I enjoy most is simple. Obedience in the bedroom. No
arguments. I don't ask anything outside our realm so safe words aren't
necessary (the people on this site scare me when it comes to how far
they go). Hell, I'm into normal stuff, and slightly non-vanilla. I
adore tits. I love to slap them and put clover clamps on 'em, and the
best part is your willingness to provide your tits for my pleasure. At
most, they will be slightly red so we're not talking that purple stuff
and needles and yuck, blood and other heavy stuff. Nope, I'm talking I
tell you to present your tits and you do. It's that simple. I hold
them. I fondle them. You provide them, jutting out your shoulders so I
can get a good handle on them. Same will all parts of your body. The tongue comes next!
I wrote this, just now, to a CM friend from afar ... and figured it apropos for the Journal ..

12/7/2008 5:09:15 AM

A young man, gender confused, asked a question about fitting in society, to which I answered ... He mentions the strictures of society causing him to act
differently than he would had society not restricted him to a certain
manner of acting. Welcome to the real world! Society,
or culture, has grown up, over the eons, to restrict the individual
from expressing himself in such a way that society, as a whole, is
disrupted. Society isn't the natural order of a single man; society is
what's good for society. Of course, each society is different. And,
most of us are born to one or another, not of our choosing. Of course,
we have legs, so, we CAN choose ... but choose wisely. What goes for
normal in Pakistan or Japan or a tribal society in the Amazon, wouldn't
go in San Francisco ... so you'll need to choose your society first, if
you can. Once you've chosen the society you wish to live
in, realize that whatever society you've chosen, it will restrict your
individual acts. For example, let's say you chose the Native American
Woodlands Iroquois. Lord help you if you were gay or a sissy boy. I
don't know how they rectified the situation, but, I can imagine that
they would frown upon you in a very severe manner. So, in your case,
let's not pick that society. In contrast, we could try
Pakistan, where the men openly treat the women like chattel but I'd
doubt any of us would be comfortable with the strictures of that
society. How about San Francisco? There, the society would be more
amenable to your desires. Once we choose the society,
realize we STILL will have the individual needs subservient to those of
the society as a whole. If the little old ladies of the society chosen
aren't in the mood to see men acting like not men, then, if they have
any power, they are going to restrict your movements severely. Point
is, we all feel these strictures,and, for the good of the society, we,
for the most part, accommodate them, saving our non-vanilla affinities
for the privacy of our bedroom.
A young man, gender confused, asked a question about fitting in society, to which I answered .

12/7/2008 4:44:30 AM

Someone wrote about a 24/7 relationship gone sour.... interestingly, it seemed like a metaphor for life.Seems to me, not ever having enjoyed a 24/7 D/s relationship, this is
similar to what most of us experience in our day to day lives.
Our professional life, at some point, no longer is what we thought it
was. Maybe it changed; maybe we changed - but it's not there anymore.
The lucky, the bold, the less needy of us, we jump ship at some point,
as we know ahead of time we can't change the "system", however mightily
we would strive to try. Likewise, our personal life, after
some number of years, and for some of us, starts smacking us against
the head telling us it isn't what it was supposed to be, not even
close. The relationship isn't what it was like during the honeymoon and
before the kids. The happy family isn't as happy as we thought it would
be when it was all giggly and cooing. The daring, the less responsible,
those with more options, those willing to take risk, they leave this
happy-family-no-more, and, in general, the divorce laws chew them to
pieces, at least initially and proportionately to the length of the
marriage. What do these common situations have in common
with you? Dunno but they may be similar. Your avenues of recourse, of
redress, and yes, recoil, may be similar or different, but, the
situation seems similar, at least in part. In all these
situations-run-sour, you can be the frog in boiling water who sticks
with it thru thick or thin; or you can attempt to move the world by
slaying the windmills with your mighty sword; or you can attempt
redress thru the courts or friends-of-public-opinion or, in some rare
cases, the courts of law.phor for all our lives ... I answered ...
Someone wrote about a 24/7 relationship gone sour.... interestingly, it seemed like a metaph

12/4/2008 5:13:50 AM

Top? Dom? Soft Top? ... Hell, I'm not sure about this labeling stuff but I'm a normal loving decent adventurous guy, just like most other top-notch guys out there ... except Except when I'm in the bedroom, not all the time, but, a good portion of the time, I like to play king of the bedroom, where I have a willing slave girl doing my bidding. Hell, that's fun! Interestingly, I'd spend plenty of time on her, licking her pussy, nibbling at her tits ... but, still, ... I have this innate desire ... this passion ... for having her bound and helpless as I take advantage of her three holes ... as I enjoy the whimper as I gently twist a nip ... as I fuck her without worrying whether she'll cum or not (she'll come by some means or another anyway, be it licking or petting or fucking) ... I like to stand her there, trussed up, helpless, mild, meek, willing, submissive, ... all these thoughts get me hard just thinking about 'em so I'll close with that ... that' ... my dear ... that is how I define a soft top.
Top? Dom? Soft Top? ... Hell, I'm not sure about this labeling stuff but I'm a normal loving d

11/30/2008 1:46:30 AM

Pictures. What a concept. Each one is a thousand words. And, in Collarme, a good suggestive pose could go for two thousand words!

For me, there are two levels of attention when I see a submissive's picture on Collarme.
- First: Is the picture real?Collarchat.com
- Second: Does the woman interest me?

It turns out that most of the "fake" pictures are fantastic. Some are
so professional, or obvious that they're stolen from a porn site. So,
no matter whether or not they "interest" me, they lose their allure,
even if she's on her knees staring dolefully up at me with those large
open needy eyes. What's the percentage of fakes? Dunno. At a free site
such as collarme, I'm gonna venture to guess it's vastly higher than
you think, certainly (IMHO) more than 50%, probably 75% of the photos
are fake. (Of course, there are multiple reasons for not posting your
own picture on a site that purveys perv that the entire world can see.)

Now, that leaves, oh, maybe 10% or perhaps as high as 25% of the
pictures left for the imagination to really consider. It helps if
they've viewed your profile or written to you, as, I'd guess, the odds
are reversed in that case where they've made an actual effort to
communicate with you. For those profile pictures, I'd guess three
quarters to be real, with only 25% or so being fake (again, multiple
reasons for not wanting to show the whole world your lovely tits).

Of those, (and I'm looking now at the women who've viewed my full
profile by way of jarring my memory), the ones that grab my attention
are the ones with full body shots of women on their knees or standing
or lying in submissive positions of rapturous attention. It helps if
their hands are tied in the picture, dunno why, it just does. I won't
name names but some of them have captured my attention so greatly that
I've complemented them on their wondrous photos (you know you who are).

So for me, the eyes don't capture my attention so much as the hands
being tied and the body being in an alluringly submissive position.
That captures my attention, every time!

YMMV,
Pompeii
Pictures. What a concept. Each one is a thousand words. And, in Collarme, a good suggestive po

11/29/2008 2:07:36 AM

After reading a post just now where a sub was looking to go to a Dominatrix in a professional dungeon, I began to wonder how pleasurable it would be to actually have a daily job that I'd love as much as Domming
willing women who actually PAID me for the privilege of being
submissive to my erotic whims!!!!!! (dream on ... I guess)...
After reading a post just now where a sub was looking to go to a Dominatrix in a professional

11/25/2008 8:04:30 AM

What is erotic imagery one asked of me.To me, any image of an adoringly docile sub, on her knees, appearing to
lap at her Master of the moment, tugging at her leash just for the
opportunity, with those orbs of pleasure hanging down, those cheeks of
softness offered high, perhaps a flogger planted in her ass dangling
forth, and those lips of moisture glistening wide for the Master ...
now THAT is alluringly erotic imagery!
What is erotic imagery one asked of me.To me, any image of an adoringly docile sub, on her kne

11/25/2008 7:55:22 AM

It was always a fantasy of mine to open up a sensual pleasure house somewhere in the coastal mountains between Santa Cruz and San Francisco.

My fantasy is to buy an old turn-of-the-century Victorian, in the Santa
Cruz mountains, overlooking the ocean, far away and distant yet with
surreal sunsets, with a huge two-story barn in back, in between the
pool and the mansion, where we could, together with my female business
partner, create a world-famous house of pleasure. The Victorian, like
all good Gatsby residences, would have plenty of gabled bedrooms
upstairs, and stately formal rooms downstairs, replete with tall
ceilings and gleaming chandeliers and a huge paneled kitchen, with
built-in appliances for the comfort of the bonk-and-breakfast crowd.

The barn, oh the barn ... it would have a bed room (filled with beds
containing bed posts to tie up to and awnings to romp within) ... and a
ball room (filled with the toys of the evening meted out to the willing
guests) ... and a play room (well-known bonk-and-breakfast games being
chaperoned out by the DM such as swap-your-mate and slap-her-tits and
guess-the-cock and twist-the-nip and slap-that-ass and
swing-those-balls and gag-that-bitch and punish-the-slave and ... oh
... what a fantasy to continue!

Wouldn't that be a wondrously nice way to make a living!
It was always a fantasy of mine to open up a sensual pleasure house somewhere in the coastal m

11/16/2008 3:09:13 AM

I agree totally that women receive an order of magnitude more email on
sites like this ... so it would seem to be vastly easier for them to
"meet" a compatible partner ... but, as you noted, there's a dark side
to the easy access to the male hordes too. It's a bit like going to
traffic school after work. You unwittingly move from your normal sane
college-educated graduate-degree environment to the
gotta-shake-your-head free-for-all traffic-school everyone-is-invited
world of idiots (one is born every minute)... which makes you stop and
think ... geeezus .... if you just add up the IQs of everyone in that
traffic school, then, graciously multiply by the number of people in
the room, the final sum still wouldn't even equal together the IQ of
just one person in your other (i.e., real) world.

In essence, while we men may decry the dearth of lovely lasses knocking
on our door, I sometimes pity what women have to go through just to
find a quality compatriat. It seems that women, by necessity, often
must weed out the plethora of obnoxious form-letter illiterati, while
we men are blissfully blessed with a single generally well-contrived
email a month to contend with. Lucky us, I guess! :)

I'd wager women don't even open a good percentage of the mail that
comes their way, just as they don't return the catcalls from the
construction crew as they walk by during their lunch hour. In contrast,
we men could (and generally do) select that one contact a month to
choose to correspond with, which is all well and good.

Should we take the initiative and contact others whom we've researched
after reading the profile, interests, checked the forum posts, etc.,
even after all that, we may unhappily realize that our well-worded
missive is inevitably mixed up within the garbled weeds of the
aforementioned male chatizens aplenty, where nary our subject line is
perused by its intended recipient.

The good news, in all of that, is we can all move at our own pace here
in the message boards, as we men are blissfully undisturbed by you
women ... ... ... oh oh ... I went off on a tangent again ... didn't I?
Did I? Drat. ... It's the ADD kicking in again .... or the Aspergers
... or whatever ... (works well in a BDSM session 'cuz no two are ever
alike! :) ...

Back to the original poster's question ... if you're a guy ... then my advice is similar to that already proposed.
STEP 1: Expect to be left alone 99% of the time here. Actually, expect to be ignored 98% of the time. It just is what it is.
STEP 2: Be patient (you really don't have any other choice, now do
ya?). You're not gonna meet the woman of your dreams just because you
posted a profile with a pretty picture on it. It doesn't matter what
you post on your profile. You're still gonna mostly be ignored. Face
it. Learn to enjoy the peace.
STEP 3: As prior suggested, get out to a local dinner munch. That is a
good start since the whole premise of the munch is to interact with
other like minded folks, most of whom are men, by the way, as most
munches are 80% men, but, hey, notice your percentages just went up by
an order of magnitude between step 1 and step 3! Hell, in the olden
days, before munches bored me to tears, I'd visit the large Denny's San
Jose Munch on Mondays, then the comfortable outdoor sidewalk Palo Alto
Munch on Wednesdays, and then top it off with the Southern Cross Munch
early on Friday afternoons. Just realize, most women there are taken,
and you're there just to make friends (so, guess what, you're back to
1/10 percentage again). Get used to it.
STEP 4: Instead of searching profiles for 20-year old submissive ladies
who want you to flog them as they obediently suck your cock, ignore the
profiles. Yup. My suggestion is to ignore the profiles at first. Why?
Well, the exact same yet reverse problem we've been discussing exists
for you. Most profiles are garbage. Many aren't even what they appear
to be. (I'm shocked! Shocked you say!). Yup. And, even if the profile
is real, you hit the problem we discussed where your email is lost
among the weeds of a thousand "wanna fuck" emails mixed up with yours.
The only way you can get "noticed" is to spam the hell out of a
thousand of these profiles, just to get one good bite. Do you really
wanna do that?
STEP 5: Given the stark reality in step 5 above, my suggestion for you
to meet people is to read and post (like you did) to the message
boards. Then, take notice of those who actually write something back
that is of interest to you. Something that tells you there's mental
meat between the soft slices of white bread in their personality. Do
some research on their posts. Don't read 'em all, but at least read a
dozen or so. You don't have to read the entire thread they posted to,
just their post. It gives you their mental flavor.
STEP 6. Oh, and you thought you were done. Nope. Step 6 is, once you've
decided you'd like a taste of that mental flavor, step 6 is to read
their profile. What a concept. Read the whole thing. It's like a test
in high school where the teach says read the instructions where the
last line of the instructions says "if you get this far, you get an
automatic B" which elevates you on the upper right side of the bell
curve. Also get used to the last line of the profile which says "NO
MEN". Yeah, makes you wonder what it was like in the deep south before
civil rights were invented where you were prohibited no matter what you
had to say.
STEP 7: (I only intended initially on three steps!) Step 7 is to craft
an intelligent reply to your selected profile. It might take you all of
ten minutes, as nobody is expecting Shakespeare. Send a pic if you
don't have a thoughtful one on your profile. Mention topics you know
she's interested in based on your posting research. Don't mention all
that you know because she'll get suspicious (you don't know how many
"Do I know you" responses I've gotten, nor the occasional "how do you
know all that ... are you stalking me?" paranoia. I'm not joking.
You'll get that if you're lucky. Why if you're lucky? Well, consider
what we said prior. Your well crafted missive isn't likely to even be
seen, nor read, by your intended recipient, mainly due to the hordes
just out of traffic school who are banging on her doorstep.
STEP 8: So, do what most of the men do here (actually, I don't know if
it's most? some? all?). Go ahead. Give up. Write that damn form letter.
"Hi, I'm Pomp. I am a great guy. You are a great gal. That should be
enough for you. Wanna fuck?". Since it's a form letter, you can spend a
lot more time on it, hell, you can afford it 'cuz you're gonna leverage
the hell outta' it. Put that form letter in your clipboard. Copy it.
Then, go search the profiles (yup., the exact thing I told y' not to
do). Go search em'. Have a blast. Hell, put the criteria that she has
to be blonde, between 20 and 21, and the most willingly devoted
personal sub slave on the planet. Yup. Make that your selection
criteria. Guess what? You'll find dozens to hundreds of willing women.
Yup. You will. (Depending on your search criteria, that is).
STEP 9. Aha. The penultimate step! Now is where the anticipatory fun
begins. Open up in your browser a dozen or two dozen of your carefully
selected recipients. Maybe three dozen or even three score (to win at
this game against the hordes takes what women want. You have to stand
out among the weedy hordes. Whether you're taller, stronger, smarter,
more persistant, longer-lasting, bigger cock, best tattoos, most
expensive toys, I don't know what it is that is your claim to fame but
women LOOK for that. Go ahead. Send 'em a pic of you standing naked,
your huge cock in your hand, next to that big boat that you rented for
a day. Hell, they don't know that. They'll think you own the damn
thing. Or the sexy red corvette you saw all alone parked crooked in the
parking lot. Put your hand on the hood as if you own it (look around
for the big guy with the glaring eyes first!). OK, go for it. OK,
ready? "red, seventeen, hutt, hutt, hutt!" spam! Yup. Spam spam spam.
Spam like there's no tomorrow. Up your limits, to 120 pounds, five foot
5, add a few years, up to 30 maybe, and spam spam spam. Go baby. Hey,
it only takes a second or two per profile, you realize. Spam spam spam.
What the hell. She can now be five foot 9 but no taller (always take
into account your weakness and don't pick women who'll notice). C'mon,
up the weight limit. Get to sumo size! Age too. Hell, if you're really
horny, play with the gender button. Whatever will get you results for
the final goal of meeting someone in sites like this.
STEP 10. Wait. Yup. Just wait. You'll get, hmmm... lemme see ... you'll
now get about five responses in total. OK. four are from spammers
themselves "Hi, I'm Britney ... here's my pic... I'm new at this ...
will you fuck me? Send an email and five dollars to
britneyisaguy@aol.com". Wait. You did the math. Hell, there's one good
response there. Woweee! You have a bite. Go for it. Write back and
you've met your mate.

Whew!
I agree totally that women receive an order of magnitude more email on sites like this ... so

11/14/2008 5:25:06 AM

You need to be enjoyed you for your pleasure and mine.

You just need to submit willingly & obediently to my direction. I'll
take care of the rest. It will always be enjoyable for you.

We would start by kissing, your lips to mine, and your hands behind
your back as I explore all that you have to offer. Then the rough hand
inspection would begin, lifting your blouse or skirt and dropping your
pants or panties to see what we have here. A few pinches of your nips
and slaps of your tits and ass should remind you of your erogenous
zones while I perform the full inspection, and you obediently enjoy.

You'd be told to dance with me, arms still behind your back, with your
tits and hips brushing up against me as I lead you about. You'd be
ordered to kneel, with your ass in the air for me to take liberties as
I see fit with your juicy spots and your dangling tits. On the bed,
you'd be splayed out as I enjoy anywhere I want with you and spend my
time on your tits, your lips, your kitty, mmmm..mmmmm ... I'm getting
rock hard just thinking about what I'd do with you.

You need to be enjoyed you for your pleasure and mine. You just need to submit willingly &a

11/14/2008 5:17:46 AM

My favorite birthday wish come true was when my favorite play friend
set up for my 40th birthday a memorable time with another female sub
who didn't even know me but agreed to follow my commands along with her
to satisfy my fantasy of owning two slaves at once.

I know for a lot of you this is common, but, not for me ... so it was a
special treat for my birthday to have them both stripped naked,
blindfolded, hands tied above their heads, all together, so I could
place them face-to-face in a nice warm and soft tit-to-tit
tete-e-tete. I started them off by ordering them to kiss, lips to
lips, tongue to tongue, as I took extensive liberties with their lovely
thighs and buns, spreading their legs and ordering them to keep kissing
each other while I concentrated on the other set of lips.

After exploring for about 45 minutes all that they had to offer, I had
each pinch the others' nipples and each kneel down successively to warm
up the others' pussy. A light spanking with my soft leather flogger
maintained the beat, while I kept at least one hand on one kitty at all
times to maintain contact. My original thought was to train her to Dom
her but it ended up they both played vanilla with each other while I
enjoyed both the show and the soft bodies with my rough hands and
overly developed tongue.

At one point, when the random music hit a nice song, I had them both
dance for me, arms now behind their backs, showing off their tits and
buns as I spun each of them to and fro so all three of us would enjoy
the show. Finally, even I couldn't take it any longer, having been a
couple hours at play, so I gave in to my overwhelming desires and
ordered both to kneel close together, wrists now bound in front, to
lick my cock, balls, and yes, my favorite, my perianal folds to final
completion, which didn't take more than ten or fifteen minutes, however
long I might have wished it would have lasted. At first I took
liberties with their bottoms, flogging lightly with the horse-tail,
but, after a few minutes of sucking and passing my cock back and forth
between them (which was a wholly unexpected tremendous turn on), I
finally delivered my birthday gush when they teasingly started to
"fight" for my cock, making up the game all by themselves. Despite my
desire to prolong my ecstasy, the thought of two women, sucking my
cock, sharing their own juices in turn, and wanting more than their
fair share, pushed me over the orgasmic edge without any control
whatsoever on my part.

All in all, it was the best birthday in my life. Oh, to be 40 again!
My favorite birthday wish come true was when my favorite play friend set up for my 40th birth

9/13/2008 8:12:11 PM

I'm a Top! And, all this while, I thought I was a "Dom". And, the woman I'd like to sensually play with is a "bottom", not a "sub". I learned this in my last forum post, on a totally different subject. Interesting. Very interesting. I wish someone had told me this when I was born so I wouldn't have to figure out everything on my own!
I'm a Top! And, all this while, I thought I was a "Dom". And, the woman I'd

9/13/2008 12:29:12 AM
Sensual D/s, I define, as BDSM only in the boudoir as a form of foreplay, generally timed to precede mutual orgasm and likely disappearing as soon as the bedroom door is opened to the outside world. The opposite, in my definition, of sensual D/s would be 24/7 lifestyle D/s play. Sensual D/s, I define, as BDSM only in the boudoir as a form of foreplay, generally timed to

9/5/2008 7:30:19 PM

Woo hoo! Get me some wata' melon!Despite the fact that kitty juice is the best aphrodisiac this side
of Texas .... watermelon apparently can "increase the
libido" in addition to having a viagra-like effect. Yup. Don't believe me? Read this July 2008 article, for example, out of Texas A&M, where Science Daily says" "watermelon has ingredients that deliver Viagra-like effects to the body’s blood vessels and may even increase libido." http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/06/080630165707.htm Pompeii -- Lonely without a sub --
Woo hoo! Get me some wata' melon!Despite the fact that kitty juice is the best aphrodisiac thi

8/29/2008 4:23:17 AM

I consider BDSM bondage as "foreplay" where I spend, hopefully hours,
on her before we culminate the act ... I lead her about, leashed and
bound, blindfolded, and gagged ... I "accidentally" touch the good
spots, while giving her a bound massage ... I brush up against her
nipples as I adjust her collar and leash ... I dildo her ass as I flip
her helplessly bound body over for a look ... I lick her kitty with her
legs spread, each bound to a bedpost ... I alternatively suck and pluck
at her nipples with the clover clamps ... I kiss her open mouth even as
it's held open with a ring gag ... I carry her over my shoulder, bound
hand and foot, from couch to bed ... and ... in the end ... after hours
of this foreplay, I culminate the act, hopefully while she's still
bound & gagged. Just afterward, as I catch my breath, I
untie her gently, ungag her, flip her back over, and kiss, caress,
nibble, etc. on all the soft spots. If she puts her head in my lap,
kissing and sucking on my now limp member, she's now devoid of any D/s
element, and I am basking in the glow of a romantic evening just
getting started. To me, THAT, is romantic bondage!
I consider BDSM bondage as "foreplay" where I spend, hopefully hours, on her before

8/28/2008 7:12:21 PM

This whole power thing intrigues me, more now that I've participated in a few debates here. I'm still forming my opinion, but, the power thing is, I
think, what all women have by virtue of the fact we men want sex, and
we want it so badly, we're willing to do things for it. For example,
all a women has to do near me is hike her skirt up, and she immediately
gets my attention over the perfectly good one next to her who doesn't
bother. Now, if she leans over and her boobs fall out, then
she moves to the front of the line for my attentions and favors. Of
course, every one of the ten thousand guys behind me is acting the same
so the competition is as fierce as a billion spermies heading toward
that one sexy ova way up there in the love canal. Only one in a billion
wins. Why? Not sure what makes him the winner. Fastest? Meanest?
Biggest? Most persistent? Luckiest? Dunno. Same thing with
Doms and their subs. Lots of us Doms. Not many willing subs (at least
in numerical comparison). 100 to 1? 1000 to 1 perhaps? I'm not sure of
the ratio, but, if you look at w4m ads on Craigslist in your particular
locale, the m4w vastly outweigh them. And, if you slip in a BDSM
keyword such as "submissive", while you'll cut down on the absolute
number of hits, the "m4w Dominant" vastly outweigh the "w4m submissive"
ads. Hell, you'll be lucky if you find one or two, at most, w4m who are
submissive in your sub locale (such as the pragmatic search within your
town and the surrounding towns). It's a wonder we Doms find
a woman at all! I guess that does give 'em the power ... but, there is
that lack of emotional involvement thing that complicates the equation.
Dunno the right answer. I'm leaning toward what others wrote about the
initial attraction is dominated by the female sub who can select from
scores (if not scores of scores) of vying peacocks, while, we quality
males (yes, I consider myself a quality male) can take pride in the
fact that a sub would be lucky to have us, were we lucky enough to find
one. Contradition of terms? I suppose so. I'm trying to figure this one
out m'self.
This whole power thing intrigues me, more now that I've participated in a few debates here. I'

8/27/2008 10:30:42 AM

BDSM (i.e., power exchange) is definitely foreplay! As a matter of
fact, the culmination, for me at least, of BDSM foreplay is straight
and natural sex (albeit she may be restrained, gagged, and clamped but
it's still sex as the end result). After sex, as I've noted in prior
threads, the whole BDSM power-play thing just feels "silly" to me. I
untie her, kiss and caress her, and wait for the refractory period to
wear out. Then, an hour or three later, we're back to the BDSM part of
the cycle. Foreplay it is! I have no doubts about that!

BDSM (i.e., power exchange) is definitely foreplay! As a matter of fact, the culmination, for

8/24/2008 6:50:52 PM

Maybe it's just me; maybe it's men in general; maybe it's all of us? I wonder ...
I have a tremendous amount of erotic creativity BEFORE orgasm. This
creativity helps in long BDSM sessions by building up to the eventual
orgasm, her first, then me. Moments after orgasm, all my
creativity leaves my body. For example, if she's still restrained, she
looks silly whereas moments before she was a seductive little slave
girl spinning yarn at my feet. The only thing I want to do after
orgasm is rest with her head in my lap, petting her hair, or other
non-kinky interaction. This decidedly non-kink refractory period lasts
for hours, and, sometimes, after an entire afternoon of kink, even for
a day or two, amazingly. Is it just me, or do others lose all their erotic creativity after orgasm?
Maybe it's just me; maybe it's men in general; maybe it's all of us? I wonder ... I have

8/20/2008 7:08:10 PM

There is something absolutely erotically wonderful about placing my fingers in a sub's willing mouth.
For me, I'm trying to figure out why it's so exciting to me, that I
almost always unwillingly cum very soon thereafter, after I rather
roughly thrust my hands in a sub's mouth, grasping her chin and lower
jaw in my forefingers, and moving her head to my beat.
Thinking about the "why", I suspect there's the semblance of
"penetration" perhaps, or the control of the face, or??? what? I don't
know. It is sensual, nonetheless. Don't you think so?
There is something absolutely erotically wonderful about placing my fingers in a sub's willing

8/12/2008 3:53:40 AM

After pondering why I love clamping & twisting nipples so much, I'm still somewhat mystified. Personally, I don't consider myself a giver of pain. However, I do love to twist a gal's nipples between my thumb and forefinger - just to elicit and regulate that strong ouchie reaction from her face, her body, her voice. I love the wince. The cringe of her body. Her sigh of relief afterward, only to be pumped up again as I twist again.Yet - I wonder why I like "hurting" someone when I don't really like to hurt someone.Since I also enjoy her reaction when I kiss & caress a sub's breast & nipples, I've tentatively concluded I must subconsciously be after her REACTION - and not necessarily her pain. I think.
After pondering why I love clamping & twisting nipples so much, I'm still somewhat mystifi

8/11/2008 6:23:53 PM

I like to start with a submissive right away, gag her, bind her, and
enjoy her. If she is a true submissive, and if I'm interesting enough
to her (she always cums), then she'll want more. If not, she won't.
It's that simple. For me. The hard part isn't that ... the hard part is
finding her. This isn't, in my opinion, the place to find anyone. I
haven't met anyone myself. Now maybe that's an admission of a failure
on my part, so, I do realize that might be the case ... but I'm more
successful on Craiglist (by 1000% since I haven't met a single one
here) ... so I don't think I'm that much of a different person in the
two places. All that having been said, here is not a place
to meet but a place to greet. And, to get opinions. You're always welcome to discuss opinions with me!

I like to start with a submissive right away, gag her, bind her, and enjoy her. If she is a t

8/5/2008 4:42:21 AM

Yes, I’m sure you’ve seen me before.
No, I am not desperate and out for attention.
No, I am not looking for sex.Well, not always.
Yes, I am seeking possible romances.Or just play.
And yes, I am for real.
.........
Now then… moving right along…
.........
Hello out there. I am a definite nerd in the sense that I love videogames,
anime, star trek, comic book characters, and other various nerdy
things.
I am a very loud, passionate, but sweet and caring individual.
I am very loyal to those I love and care about and I always do my best
to tell the truth. Lies don’t make any sense to me. I’ve learned
throughout the years that you can tell the truth without being rude.
Just some people are too lazy to figure out how.
I am very self aware and very self motivated. I know what I
want and for the most part I know who I am. Life is a constant journey
of growth and learning. A journey that I take pride in walking.

I adore animals. Dogs, Cats, Bunnies... even vermin like snakes and rats. I love 'em all.

Though I am not a vegetarian I do believe in animal rights very much so.
I am a Christian but I am not a self righteous one. I believe
that as long as a person has a good heart, regardless of where their
faith may lie, be it in God, Buddha, or nothing at all, they are fine
in my book.
I do believe in the saying “Do unto others as you’d have them
do unto you”. I don’t want people shoving their beliefs down my throat,
so I certainly have no right to do it to others. I do my best not to be
a hypocrite.
I loath drama and I loath instigators. I know that finding
quality people through Collarme is next to impossible, but you never know…
thus I keep trying.
I am a sensitive person and I do tend to wear my heart on my
sleeve, but that is who I am and I’ve accepted it. It’s not always a
bad thing to have a heart.
As far as what I look for in a mate, I look for sincerity,
kindness, intelligence, loyalty, honesty, similar interests, similar
personality traits, and most of all… humor. (The 50's wife serving attitute is never dead
with me btw.)
I suppose that would be the gist of things for now. I apologize
for the long post, but for the life of me I just can’t seem to write
short ones hehe. Comes with being a poet/artist at heart I guess… ohhhhh well.

Hope to hear from you. I only get one or two messages a month.Thanks for reading!
Yes, I’m sure you’ve seen me before. No, I am not desperate and out for attention

7/14/2008 4:16:22 AM

Bearing in mind, we use the terms "spicy" and "hot" for both sex and
food, back in grad school, in an attempt to satisfy my almost
insatiable curiousity about D/s kink, I was perusing the stacks in
Widener Library in desperate search of true kink to be gleaned from the
ancient collections ... when I ran smack into the direct connection of
spicy foods and endorphins! There, alone among the annals
and journals, as I leafed through the dusty literature (no world-wide
web in those heady days), I discovered, and I remember this very
clearly, a series of references to treatment of black slaves where the
wealthy plantation owners rubbed chili pepper into their hapless
slave's kitty, as punishment for some presumed infraction. (Oh, to have
lived in a prior day and to have my very own slave girl ....ever since
then I've wanted to try this on a willing subbie )
<slap><slap> ... As I read on, I was finding
myself getting aroused by the ideas it fostered, <slap>,
expecially for the pretty and presumably intelligent (hence one who
could appreciate a good D/s time) mini-skirted coed innocently sitting
to the left of me (always to the left, for mathematical reasons prior
stated in another thread), my thoughts, of course, unbeknownst to her,
wondering what it would be like to spice up her lovely kitty right then
and there, as we quietly smiled at one another. Delving
further into my studies, I slowly came to the realization, amazingly to
me, that you can't "taste" spicey foods at all, since your tongue can
only taste 4 flavors (salt, sweet, sour, bitter, and, newly proposed, a
fifth "umami" flavor, aka savory or seaweed). The natural question was
.... ummm... what about spicey foods? Alas, it turns out,
you don't actually "taste" spicy foods at all. You experience them.
Yup. Spice, as you've surmised, e.g., chili pepper, has a different
effect on you altogether. Not only do you EXPERIENCE spicy foods - but that experience modifies your pain sensations!
At that time (long ago, I assure you), it was hypothesized that the
oily substance closely mimicked a purportedly natural "substance P"
(which was reputed to be responsible primarily for conducting pain
signals). Given that spice and pain are now closely associated,
it's no wonder our sadistic slaveowner utilized it in other sensitive
places around his hapless nubian nymph's body related to pain and
punishment. Fast forward a few decades and we find that
spice and pain are closely associated, and that capsaicin, the active
ingredient in the chili pepper oleoresins, because of it's specific
mimickry, can use up substance p (hence you need more and more spice to
excite the "pain" taste of pepper over time), and when there is no neurotransmitter, there are no transmissions in the neurons. You become numb to the pain.
Interestingly, see these results on the naked mole rat ability to feel
pain (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/01/080129125533.htm).
Or this description showing local supplies of neurotransmitters are
used up by spice clogging the pain receptors
(http://www.drugdigest.org/DD/DVH/HerbsWho/0,3923,4095|African%2BPepper,00.html).
Here's an about.com layman's article on how spice relates to the
sensation of pain
(http://arthritis.about.com/od/arthqa/f/substanceP.htm). Or, for
the die hard kinksters (please remove that huge plug of ginger root
from your slave's anus now, thank you), here's a reference titled "The
Neurobiological Basis of Pain and its Control"
(http://keck.ucsf.edu/neurograd/faculty/Basbaum.html).
Note: If any Silicon Valley sub wants to meet me at the San Jose Public
Library in order to allow me to experiment with spices on your pussy -
of course, only to satisfy my seemingly insatiable lusty scientific
curiousity of course, <wink>, please write (I'm sure my inbox isn't going to be flooded with willing local volunteers!) ... sigh.... :)
Bearing in mind, we use the terms "spicy" and "hot" for both sex and food

7/2/2008 8:22:00 AM
EROS is better'n BDSM....E= erotic ...R = restraint, and, ...o = obedient ... s = service EROS is better'n BDSM....E= erotic ...R = restraint, and, ...o = obedient

6/30/2008 8:56:48 PM
And the rockets' red glare ... just back from the local fireworks ... what a lovely sight ... orgasm in the sky! And the rockets' red glare ... just back from the local fireworks ... what a lovely sight ...

6/10/2008 4:51:32 PM

Topic: Nipples ...Why, I don't know ... but I just love twisting a nipple or two in my strong hands, bringing the teat upward while the slave girl strives to her tippy toes partially relieving the beautifully upturned tension. The wondrous look on her face is just pure joy to me and hopefully, the feelings to her are a pleasure indeed!
Topic: Nipples ...Why, I don't know ... but I just love twisting a nipple or two in my stron

6/6/2008 5:39:58 PM
Hello visitor. Here I am. And there you are. I hope you can separate the wheat from the chaff. There's a true oxymoron in this desire of ours to be free by being bound, to be satiated by being spanked, to be loved by being controlled. It's a nice feeling, when it works right, don't you think! Hello visitor. Here I am. And there you are. I hope you can separate the wheat from the chaff.

12/28/2007 4:03:21 AM
Oooooh. What a headache. Are new year's eve parties sadistic or what! Yet, it's a lovely new year to boot. I think, based on intuition mostly, 2008 will be a fantastically erotic and interesting year! Oooooh. What a headache. Are new year's eve parties sadistic or what! Yet, it's a lovely new y

12/26/2007 3:08:34 AM
It's almost the new year! Woo hoo! I think I'll post an ad in Craigslist for a workout partner. What do you think? It would be lovely to train a submissive gal in the local area for the next few months so she attains her goals of fitness and weight and I command her every step of the way. It's almost the new year! Woo hoo! I think I'll post an ad in Craigslist for a workout partner

12/21/2007 11:33:40 AM
Merry Christmas to all!May you have a naked sub tied to your Christmas tree ... with bells around her neck on and nipples ... waiting for you to free her from her bonds, after unwrapping her, savoring every luscious moment! Merry Christmas to all!May you have a naked sub tied to your Christmas tree ... with bells aro

11/5/2007 1:51:15 AM
Luscious. Lovely. Lasses. Collarme.com - The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

10/28/2007 4:02:35 AM
So very busy. Why is it that the busier I am, the hornier I get. So that the less time I have on my hands, the more I have sex on my mind. The enigma. So very busy. Why is it that the busier I am, the hornier I get. So that the less time I hav

10/24/2007 2:34:46 PM

I just love Halloween weekends! The ladies are all dressed to kill. Lovely they are, whether they're in a sixties psychodelic miniskirt which exposes her upper thighs and behinds as I ask her to bend over to pick up a twenty - or if they're in fishnets and black negligee, showing off the more feminine parts of her boody as I yank her bodice down to expose those lovelies to my glaring eye! Yummm.. Yum. I wish Halloween was here all year round!
I just love Halloween weekends! The ladies are all dressed to kill. Lovely they are, whether

10/20/2007 5:20:32 PM
Wonderful day today ... can't wait to go out and play! Wonderful day today ... can't wait to go out and pl

10/19/2007 1:32:41 AM

Learned s'more on the collarme message board. I, for one, am curious if others who are as creative as I in the bedroom also lose all that creativity just after orgasm. My erotic creativity is tremendously heightened by having a woman in my arms - yet - moments after orgasm, most, if not all, of those creative juices immediately languish. I had figured it was wierd - but it seems almost everyone is that way. Whew! :)
Learned s'more on the collarme message board. I, for one, am curious if others who are as cr

10/14/2007 3:13:02 AM

Learned something new on the collarme message boards today - I had asked what sex has to do with BDSM and vice versa - and was illuminated by the literati who responded - which can be summarized as - for some of us - including yours truly - there is a tremendous and obvious connection to sex - yet for more than a few others - there's absolutly no binding of sex with BDSM - hmmmm - I like learning about that which I enjoy!
Learned something new on the collarme message boards today - I had asked what sex has to do wi

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