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Journal Entries for sultryone: |
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7/30/2009 4:58:11 PM |
As I have come to learn and understand what I think submission is, I have formed this picture, vision, possibly a dream-like idea in my mind of what my own submission could possibly be, and what, if things in movies can come true, what I would someday like to achieve as a submissive, woman, human being. My idea comes from a movie, thus the dream-like statement, but in my life experience I do believe these are things I have always strived for, and in finding BDSM and D/s, I believe I’ve found a place where, if one can achieve even a small percentage of these traits, I believe it is the perfect place for these traits to be learned, refined, and challenged.This picture I have in my mind stems from the movie “The Last Samurai”, and the woman who cares for the man who killed her husband in battle, tending to his wounds and allowing him to live in her home with herself and her children right thereafter. In the movie she tends to him out of duty and honor, and service to her people, though in her heart she is troubled. But yet she is humble and quiet, keeping her thoughts to herself, and she does what she is told to do and she does it well. At one point in the movie she speaks out to her brother in anger and frustration that she does not want to continue in her duties, but quickly in her humility, she returns in honor and respect. I sort of see myself as wanting to be like her, in her qualities and her nature and in my own submission. I made a list of all the qualities I would like to strive for and in this picture of who I someday strive to be. And in so, writing this, I hope to remind myself of the reason I came into this lifestyle, not only for the sexual desires, the play experiences, the friends and amazing community, but also to better myself as a human being, a woman, and a submissive. So here are some traits I see in the woman in the movie, her character name being Taka...Intelligence, elegance, courage, confidence, independence, respect and honor within herself and to others, inspiring, warm, humble, honest, beautiful on the inside which reflects the physical outer beauty, sensual, erotic, meek yet strong in herself, selfless to whom she serves, creative, hard working in service, graceful, patient, friendly and kind, knowledable, giving and concerned for the well being of others, physically and emotionally balanced and strong, uplifting, witty, organized, and secure in her place.There are many other traits I’m sure I have not thought of to add here, but I hope this may be of help to anyone reading, and a reminder for us all that this Lifestyle, at least in my humble opinion, does have open doors for the opportunity for us to grow as better Dominants, submissives, human beings, and friends.
As I have come to learn and understand what I think submission is, I have formed this picture,
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2/27/2009 10:36:09 AM |
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Lifestyle FriendsI have been around many different communities, jobs, and organizations in my lifetime, but I have to say since coming into the local Los Angeles BDSM scene, the amount of friendly, caring, and protective spirits I have found is far beyond any I have experienced in the past. I am new to this journey and I know things can change, but so far I have never felt so welcomed, and so personally cared for. As a new submissive I can see how important it is to have people around with experience, knowledge, and the willingness to walk through this journey with you and guide and help along the way. Being able to pick up the phone and call another submissive or a mentor when something comes along, or when you just need a friend, and know that they really want to help and can see from your point of view... that is huge to someone new...huge! And it is an anchor and the way to continue on the journey with my head on straight and eyes wide open. Lifestyle FriendsI have been around many different communities, jobs, and organizations i
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2/15/2009 4:41:31 PM |
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I've been on collarme for over four months now... I have played, been on dates, had some 'relationships', made some friends and acquaintances, and have experienced the local BDSM scene in it's different forms. I pretty much dove in with both feet and have not stopped, but to take a breath, process, and continue my journey.I've enjoyed the process, I try to do that with all things in life whether they go a good way or a way I did not expect. I'm learning, always learning. I made some mistakes, I always will make mistakes and that is okay, cuz what else is there to learn from than our own choices?I'm at a point in my journey though, where I'm really feeling the desire to find that D/s or M/s relationship that fits. I want to be trained. I am ready to be trained. I deeply desire to experience the things I have read about and heard about from others who have been in those relationships. I think I have been through enough to know what it is I seek in a Dom or Master, that I need someone strong, very strong in their confidence, emotions, and physicality, and someone who can handle me emotionally and physically, mentally... I want someone who plays hard, as I've discovered that is what I like, and someone who can control without insecurity in themselves. I would like to experience protocol and service, and I would like to delve into the submission that I have yet to experience. I am ready. I am not afraid (haha that is a lie), but I am ready. I've been on collarme for over four months now... I have played, been on dates, had some 'rela
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2/7/2009 6:06:39 PM |
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It is the action, not the words, that tell the truth and no one is above the rules... It is the action, not the words, that tell the truth and no one is above th
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1/19/2009 7:04:17 PM |
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'I sometimes get things wrong to get things right...'SEALFeeling pretty lost tonite so that quote is feeling quite appropriate. I want to better myself... as a woman, as a person, as a friend, as a partner, as a sub, but I sometimes don't understand what it is I do that is wrong... or not wrong, but not working. And how to figure out what I am to do to change it, or at least start to change it. I take that back a little... sometimes I know what it is that I do, but yet I continually do it. So I will continue to get it wrong until I get it right... Or until someone comes along and slaps me silly... haha just kidding... or maybe not... 'I sometimes get things wrong to get things right...'SEALFeeling pretty lost tonite so that qu
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1/6/2009 8:03:16 AM |
The world is filled with Dom'sSo many Dom'swhich one is mine? One must be right for me... Along the countless daysThe endless nights that I have searchedSo many eyesSo many heartsSo many spankings... (well not enough really! :D )Which one to choose?Which way to go?How can I tell?How will I know?Out of ohSo many Dom'sSo many Dom's.... (A little play on words with 'So Many Stars' by Sergio Mendes. :-))
The world is filled with Dom'sSo many Dom'swhich one is mine? One must be right for
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12/17/2008 5:03:22 PM |
Changing & Growth
Since finding this world of BDSM about 3 months ago, I have gone through many changes. Each one seeming to have its own stages of growth. In the beginning I was enamored with my new discovery. Each new thought, idea, revelation was something that filled my mind with awe and fascination and the desire to know more. Actually each new thought, idea, vision, word, scene, Dungeon, and everything I’ve experienced I am still enamored with, it’s just that now I see things a little differently, a little more smoothly and more in slow motion if I may explain it that way. I've realized that in a most important way this lifestyle for me, is to be taken seriously, but also, not to be taken so fricken seriously! If that makes any sense?!I began this wonderful journey online, joining the various websites, reading the message boards, asking questions, and chatting with Dom’s. My first few online only experiences were quite crappy. The typical online experiences a lot of new subs have. But, since then I’ve had the wonderful opportunity to get out of this chair and visit some of the local BDSM Community events and that is where my most grateful changes have arisen. I have met some amazing people, AMAZING! And I've made friends! I love friends!!! And I have heard discussions and insights and watched people play and talked and talked and talked about everything I could get my greedy little ears on! And now, now I can honestly say I know I am in the right place. One thing I've come to realize is I need patience. I guess, in all honesty, looking back on my life I can see I was/am the kinda girl who wanted something and wanted it now! Kinda like Veruca Salt in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! But look what she got! Anywho, what I am meaning to say is that the best advice I have been given, that just so happened to be given to me tons of times by different people, but was just “heard” today is, SLOW DOWN GIRL!!!! Yes, slow the heck down! What the heck am I in a rush for?? I don’t even know the answer to that question except for the fact, that, as I stated, I was blown away by my desire for experience.To be continued…
Changing & Growth
Since finding this world of BDSM about 3 months ago, I have gone throug
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