I'm Pairadox. Indeed, to many that is exactl

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Pairadox

Male Dominant, 45, Fairbanks, Alaska

I'm Pairadox. Indeed, to many that is exactly what I am, a paradox, equally at home hunting in the woods or at a black-tie formal. I am a dominant who does not force submission, only accepts it in return for his own gift of dominance. Hiking, skiing, white-water rafting, sports of most kinds enthrall me, yet working out in a gym is not my idea of a good time. I love to teach, and do so at BDSM events nationally, yet love to learn with an equal passion. I'm not a switch - tried it, hated it, and thus remain respectful of those who can do what I can not. I'm not apathetic - when I believe in something, I tend to believe passionately and forcefully, while remaining respectful of differing opinions, always cognizant that I may indeed be wrong.I live in Alaska, in the Interior. Life is extreme on both ends, in temperature, daylight, and humidity. It isn't for everyone, and indeed my partner has decided it isn't for her. She plans on leaving here come summer, and prefers to step back into a beta role. She is fully aware that I am searching, and would meet any and all that I consider.I try to see the humor in the world around me, sometimes laughing when the only other option is to cry, yet can be deadly serious about the same thing. Balance is what I seek, in all the aspects of my life: spiritual, emotional, physical, mental, and sexual. You see, where others see a paradox, I don't - I see only me.To know more about me, I'd suggest reading my blog and asking me questions. I seek two things:First, I seek play partners, those that enjoy different aspects of this life. This is solely a means of getting our mutual needs met, with friendship as a preferred side outcome. We meet, we talk, and if what we wish to experience fits together, then we play. Look at my preferences in my profile to see if I enjoy things that you might also enjoy. As one of my greatest fetishes in this lifestyle is teaching, I'm more than happy to help you discover worlds hitherto unexplored by you.Second, in the long term I seek my soulmate, my mirror image, the complementary half to me. She is very intelligent, curious, self-confident, and a great communicator (VERY important!). To the vanilla world, she is a strong individual, preferably a successful professional. Once within our home, she remains a strong individual, secure and comfortable within her submission to me. She submits to me because that is what she wants, her soul and mind in harmonic convergence with my own. She voices her opinions, accepts my decisions, and works with me to the good of us both. Her interests are eclectic, enjoying equally a weekend hike to cheering at a hockey game to exploring museums to appreciating an opera, just at home in jeans as she is in a formal gown. She is comfortable in her sexuality. Together we will invite other women to participate with us, while remaining secure within our own relationship. If either of us desire another, it will be pursued primarily within the context of *us*, with other encounters approved in advance.Age is less a factor. Body size is less important than her comfort within her own body image. I believe that if she can see the beauty in the mirror, then it will radiate out. She is healthy, and addicted to nothing. While able to enjoy the pleasures of a drink or other product, none are an every day, must-have thing.Finally, she believes in love, in all its forms. While relationships need shared combined work to thrive, love exists without conditions, without tests, with the intertwined emotions of those involved. She is willing to equally sacrifice, sustain compromises, and be cognizant that we are all but human and make mistakes, all the while keeping the alter of love lit with our joint emotional fuel.

9/18/2008 9:14:09 AM: Getting it… One of the reasons I love to teach is a personal reward. I love to see the look in someone’s eyes when that magical moment occurs and they “get it”. The eyes widen, a bit of surprise, shock, elation, relief and more flash through their face. It is also one of the reasons that I prefer to teach in person. Rarely do I get to feel or see that sort of reaction from someone when they are not physically present with me.This weekend was one of those rare moments when I am able to see that moment from afar. Many people say they are submissive – and I am sure that they mean it. Fewer people say that they are slaves – and I am sure that they mean it. It is one thing to want to submit and yet an entirely different thing to actually do it. Many come up to the brink, look over the abyss, and then fall back. Some never even get up to the lip, but instead give “lip service” to the concept. I am not belittling anyone - giving up that control is not an easy thing, and certainly something I can’t do. This weekend, someone whom I have been pursuing possibilities with reached her “eureka” moment. Epiphany. She got it. And while I wished with all my heart that I could have been there to see that sparkle in her eyes when it hit, her words showed that it was there nonetheless. Getting it is one thing, a triumph to be treasured and celebrated. Putting it in place is another, but I believe that she may be one of the rare ones that does just that. So many people never get to the point of epiphany. So many call themselves submissive or slave, yet feel that they should still have control, when the whole point of Dominantion and submission is to give that control over freely. A good friend online said it well – “Submission is an inner state of being” . I saw that being shine through this weekend… _______________________________ 6/14/2008 6:46:20 AM: You are my (fill in the blank) when...You are my bottom when...- you want me to have a particular scene with you, doing X, Y, and Z, and I agree.- you want to try something new or interesting, and are one in a line of many trying it out as I'm teaching it.- aftercare is something that you get from somebody else the day after.- you aren't after the scene is over.You are my submissive when...- we both agree on the general outlines of a scene, and then I go at it.- you have stop words, and are expected to use them.- you submit for a certain period of time - and then it is only for that agreed-upon period of time.- I worry about how you are coming out of drop.- You worry about getting me water when I'm dehydrated from a scene.- you do what I tell you, assuming it fits into our agreed-upon parameters.You are my slave when...- you are ready for whatever I dish out - and I dish out what I know will please us both (usually )- you have stop words, and you use them whenever I push you that far - which should be incredibly rare, as I know you and will stop just before that.- you are mine, period, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year.- you are at my feet when I want, at my side always, covering each others backs unquestionably.- your well-being exceeds my own interest in mine, and vice-versa is true as well.- serving me is the joy that keeps you motivated day to day.- you try to do what I want without me ever telling you, as well as what I explicitly tell you.If you are still in doubt where you are, ASK, don't assume. _______________________________ 6/14/2008 6:45:12 AM: "Updates of the Obvious #4"- Telepathic I am not. Empathic I am (or try to be). Just because I can tell you need water or are about to drop does not mean I know what you want to eat or that you want to take our friendship to a new level. Talk.- I'm searching. Most likely, so are you. Until I find the person(s) for me, I am still searching. I don't expect anything different from you.- You want to go play and have a good time? Great! Enjoy yourself, and be safe. If that was a ploy to see if I'd get jealous, then you really, really, are talking to the wrong Dom...- I work, I live, I clean house, do laundry, cook, etc. That means I am neither on here 24/7, nor will I be talking with you on the phone all day and night, nor will I stop doing things that I enjoy because you aren't around. Just because you are an attention slut does not mean I have to be the attention provider. - I love to have friends. I love to have friends and play partners. When you tell me that is what you want to be, I'm happy, and treat you as such. That isn't a stepping stone - Unless we both agree otherwise, it isn't more than that.- Yes, I do very much want to find my slave, my little girl, my partner. It will not happen in a day, a week or a month. I will be damn sure this time when I bring someone into my home, that she is the one that I want to have stay there permanently. Expect test runs, trials, and lots of consideration before that will ever happen - and I expect to have to be patient as well. If you need something faster than that, well, you really, really are talking to the wrong Dom... _______________________________ 6/14/2008 6:43:57 AM: Updates of the Obvious #1Here are just some updates for folks who might be considering responding to me...- Alaska is in North America, it is not overseas, we do use US money because we ARE a state, I do not live in an igloo (fire play is too damn hard), and yes you can drive here (but not everywhere up here). Yes, there are difficulties in living here (look at my previous posts about Alaska) - but to me and most people who live here, the joys far outweigh the challenges.- Yes, I love the role of being a Daddy Dominant. That does not mean I want to be your sugar daddy! I am professionally successful and financially stable - but profiles that seem to be all about taking care of you financially raise up very bad old memories. I want a partner, NOT a parasite!- I am respectful of others, and draw a clear line between what are my rights (under the terms that I agree with another) and what are not my rights. That's both in terms of you and I, AND in terms of myself and anyone else in the world. More than one person has taken that to mean I'm not assertive or dominant enough - until they've crossed over to trying to push me into doing something or not doing something within my rights, and then they find out what a cold-hearted bastard I am underneath. If you don't get this, it's clear that I'm not the abusive domineering person you seek, and I'm glad we got through that now. Good luck finding him/her - and even better luck surviving him/her! - I respect your opinions. I respect everybody's right to have an opinion. Doesn't mean I agree with them, and doesn't meant I do or don't think they are the most idiotic thing that a human being ever thought - it just means that I respect your right to have your own opinion. That also means I get a bit pig-headed in asserting my right to my own opinions...- I'll talk with just about anybody. I'll play with most people. If it is the conversational friend or play partner category you want to fit into, then most likely you fit, as I am pretty open there. IF, however, you are wanting to correspond with a possible end result of the soulmate/partner category, then the rest of those preferred qualities are very, very important. And while age is not a major factor, maturity is - and for many, chronological age does have an impact there. I'm always will try to find out that level of maturity, because I don't assume it irregardless of chronological age!- No "bait and switch" schemes. Be yourself. If we fit, great! If we don't, better to be friends than to make a square peg fit into a round hole. It annoys my edges, and my edges are sharp and they do cut!- Be there. Not in the "constantly need to be joined at the hip, can't have a life, stalker" sort of "be there", but in the call when you say you'll call, email when you say you'll email, meet when you say you'll meet sort of way. If you run the first time there is a blip, that tells me lots about how you'd be when the blips become bumps.- Last, but certainly not least, relationships are between people. People make mistakes - you, me, her, him, everybody. Real boats rock. Relationships work when you work ON them - and that "you" means everyone in the relationship. No body gets a free ride for long. I'll be your shoulder to cry on and the applause at your successes - but if you aren't there for me when those hit on my side, chances are we won't be "we" long. _______________________________ 6/14/2008 6:42:21 AM: I realized that I haven't posted some of my blogs from another service on to here - so several will be hitting here today, to make some of the ones that ARE on here make more sense...