d through time and space, through lifetimes unknown i came be...His. My life in His service...

7/13/2008 3:54:42 PM: namaste's parable for those seeking: There once was a seamstress who created the most beautiful of quilts. The quilts were composed of the finest cloths, gathered from lands far and wide. The threads were gold and silver, the beads of precious stones. All of this and yet the seamstress was not wealthy, and had never sold a quilt.  When she brought the quilts to the market she covered them in inexpensive burlap for she had two competing fears. The first was of her art being rejected and so she feared for the eyes of Men to see it. The second was of being robbed, and so she feared of Men to know it's value.  At the market men came from far and wide, the wealthy and educated as well as the poor and ignorant. They came to look and buy that which would be most needful to them. The seamstress sat day and night and all those that came into her booth were poor and ignorant inquiring as to the price of her burlap fabric. At first the seamstress was patient and explained that what she had UNDER the burlap was what she was offering, she began to try to describe the luxiourious nature of the fabric, the clarity of the stones...but the poor and ignorant Men could find no value in such things. The seamstress called out to the wealthy and educated Men hoping to gain thier attention, but that had no interest in mere burlap which was all they could see and was far too common for thier households.  The seamstress began to get angry, eventually waving her hands and yelling at the passers by 'Why do you keep approaching me to buy that which is not for sale?! What i offer is worth far more than mere burlap you fools!!' A wise Man happened to be within earshot of her tirade and walked forward. The crowd parted and the seamstress quieted as He stopped and looked at the burlap, He untied the ribbons that held it over the quilt and fingered the precious fabric. He then looked at the seamstress and said calmly 'My dear woman why do you put on display that which is common and keep the real treasure hidden away? Do not criticize the lowly when you appear to offer what is within thier reach' she who has an ear to hear...
			_______________________________

5/28/2008 3:28:30 PM: Sometimes i stumble upon a jewel so precious and rare i hesitate to share it, as one hesitates to show the world a most sacred treasure. 
How selfish of me! 
Today i stumbled upon this...this beauty...that spoke so eloquently and caused my soul to feel much too light for the vessel that contains it. 
i marvelled that Hafiz could know and give voice to my slave soul in such a way. 
And so i share with you...

We have not come here to take prisonersbut to surrender ever more deeply to freedom and joy.
We have not come to this exquisite worldto hold ourselves hostage from love.
Run my dear, from anythingthat may not strengthenyour precious budding wings.
Run like hell my dearfrom anyone likelyto put a sharp knifeinto the sacred, tender vision of your beautiful heart.
We have a duty to befriendthose aspects of obediencethat stand outside of our house and shout to our reason
'O please, O please,come out and play.'
For we have not come here to take prisoners or to confine our wondrous spirits,but to experience ever and ever more deeply our divine courage, freedom and light!
-Hafiz
			_______________________________

1/16/2008 4:16:04 PM: Eightfold Path- pt. 2 - Right Emotion: Samma-Sankappa — Perfected Emotion or Aspiration, also translated as right thought or attitude. Liberating emotional intelligence in your life and acting from love and compassion. An informed heart and feeling mind that are free to practice letting go. 
This area of the eightfold path deals with having a 'right' (whole, complete or perfect) emotion or attitude.  Often we hold on to ideas and patterns of thought because they are familiar to us. Even if we recognize that they are not complete or imperfect we yet hold on and feel resistance when our Owners require us to relinquish them.   Obedience and submission given grudgedly or with resentment will eventually uproot the foundation of the M/s dynamic. It is only through freely embracing the thoughts and attitudes that imbue slavery that we can internalize our slavery.  
 
We as slaves should choose to act from love. This is interesting because as i have stated before most of the issues within slavery come from our fear. Fear and love can not co-exist. When i am acting out of fear i am not dwelling and focused upon love. When i act out of love, fear can not oppress me. 
 
This area also may force us to look at how we perceive ourselves as slaves and what we retain of our vanilla 'me' centered life.   The things that cause 'Dukkah' (or suffering) often take root within our minds.Each emotion should be looked at,examined and determined if it fits the scenario. This applies especially to emotions that normally appear based on fear: anger, jealousy, ill-will, hostility, vanity. negligence etc;  Within Buddhism there are 6 methods for removing these negative thought patterns. i believe these methods will serve the slave well: 
 
1. Restraining:  Be aware of where your thoughts are going. Restrain from activities that may be fun in the short term but ultimately can cause issues later on. 
2. Using:  Use everything within you to cultivate peace within and without. Having a peaceful home is a foundational principal. Having a peaceful spirit is likewise foundational. Cultivate the peace of slavery. 
3. Tolerating: Understand that everyone and everything is not going to bring you happiness. Every action that is taken by your Owner may not be a desired course for you. Accept this. 
4. Avoiding: . Be very careful about what you're reading and immersing yourself in. We tend to take on the scent  and flavor of whatever we marinate in. What do you want to taste like? The sour taste of anger and bitterness? Or the sweet flavor of surrender and trust?
5. Destroying: This is a difficult one. Often we try to get rid of 'just a little bit' of whatever it is that is causing us issues. We;'d rather maintain some element of whatever idea or mind set is troubling us because we believe it is who we are. It is not! you can be whoever you want to be, and you are more than your conditioned behavior.
 6. Developing: If i focus on becoming a better slave i can not focus on that which is hindering my growth at the same time. Something has to give. By devoting myself to my own development i push out all  negativity. 
 
Always in His service,~ Master Obsidian's slave namaste (c)
			_______________________________

12/23/2007 12:48:56 AM: To be completely woman you need a master, and in him a compass for your life. You need a man you can look up to and respect. If you dethrone him it's no wonder that you are discontented, and discontented women are not loved for long.' ~M Dietrich
			_______________________________

12/8/2007 1:57:29 PM: Perfectionist slave syndrome i was recently reading an article on perfection. in it the Author admonished the readers to not seek perfection and to become very aware of dangers of perfectionism. i suppose i would say i had a sort of epiphany at that moment because i became amazingly aware of all the ways that slaves seek to be perfect, and the dangers of perfectionism to the Ms/ dynamic.

Often we can not see the ways that perfectionism effects us because we do not recognize our actions as being perfectionistic. Perfectionism is not merely keeping an insanely immaculate home, or constantly dusting. It is also when you constantly see flaws in yourself and others, no matter how inconsequential they are and feel that 'if only THIS weren't here'. We may call it an attempt to be 'balanced', seeking continual improvement, or just trying to make the relationship 'better'. However closer examination will often reveal that what's really at play is perfectionism. Perfectionism can literally destroy the joy of slavery, remove the Respect the slave has for his/her Owner, and crack the foundation of the M/s dynamic. When we know what to look for it's really easy to see the insidious seeds of perfectionism. Frequent discussion or contemplation of how things can be better, what's 'missing', things that can 'improve' are all symptoms of perfectionism. Perfectionism is in a nutshell the idea that nothing is ever good enough. No matter how wonderful, no matter how great, there is always SOMETHING that needs to be fixed. This is a problem because relationships are made up of fallible people (yes even M/s relationships!). We do not serve our Owners because they are perfect...we serve them because they are our Owners and we are intrinsically fulfilled by being their slaves. For example let's examine one of the common things said by perfectionist slaves:
'i'm only trying to make the relationship better' - This implies that 1. something is wrong with the relationship as it currently is, and 2. you can make a unilateral decision to change it. Now the above thinking wouldn't work well in a vanilla dynamic...so why do we assume that it will work in a M/s one? 
i think it is important to say at this point that i am not suggesting that growth is not a desired trait. i am also not suggesting that we do not strive to be excellent. However, there is a difference between perfection and excellence. Living an excellent existence is possible...living a perfect existence is not.

i often hesr slaves speak of their Masters or their dynamics in this way, wistfully dreaming of the day that their Owner will be perfect, free from all flaws and THEN this will transform them into the perfect slave.

a small admonition- If your Owner to be perfect in order for you to be their absolute slave...then this is not the life choice for you, because perfection is not a human trait.

Another way that perfectionism shows its head in the M/s dynamic is in the idea that if the Master were just 'more' (insert verb of your choice here) the slave would 'feel' his/her slavery more. This is problematic because it makes the slaves fulfillment dependant upon the Masters perfection.

So how can we recognize it when the perfection bug is at play? Ask yourself a few questions....
1. Are my concerns related to core values in the dynamic? (if it's perfectionist thinking the answer will be no)
2. Do i find myself thinking 'if only THIS were fixed'?
3. Am i never satisfied? Never content in my M/s dynamic or my slavery?
4. Do i compare our relationship to others?
5. i am frequently depressed because of imperfections in myself or my Owner?

What to do if you find that you are suffering from PSS?

1. Understand that you have value intrinsically. It is not necessary to be perfect to prove your worth. 
2. Recognize the destructive influence of perfectionism. 
3. Live in the now, it is almost impossible to suffer from PSS and be truly thankful at the same time.
4. Learn to live authentically. - Perfectionists are frequently inauthentic due to trying to appear perfect at all times. One cure is to live authentically and transparently. The experience of receiving love, even while flawed can be a great aid in internalizing that you don't have to be perfect.

i hope that this little essay helps someone to see the dangers of perfectionism, and to recognize the ways that it can hurt a M/s dynamic. As slaves our focus needn't be on perfection, only on obedience. ~Master Obsidian's namaste (c)