" My first public play party was in 1982. Back then you had to know someone, who knew someone, who ..."

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 MsLizVT

 Dominant Female

 Vermont

 Willing to Relocate

 5'8"

 175 lbs

 50

 Lesbian

 Caucasian

 11/27/02

I
recall as a child doing a variety of Dommely/sadistic things with the
other kids in the neighborhood. From the basic 'betcha can't get loose
if I tie you to a chair' to 'dare ya to stand in that wasp nest hole'
(i swear my sister needed therapy for years after that).

As a
teenager, I would 'borrow' my dad's Variations and Forum Magazines. I
was mesmerized with the forum letters about the 'kinkier' side of life!
Dad was a harmless pervert, may he rest in peace, and I loved his
library! Mom on the other hand, was extremely missionary! Although, I
always wondered if she bought all those vibrators under her bedside, or
dad!

In college dating with kinky interests was difficult! I
heard many times, "you wanna do what to my what? you're weird!" I
thought I was the only one that had this 'twisted nature'.

Finally,
a couple of years out of college, I replied to ads in the Boston
underground papers. Thus, the first BDSM play party.

I'll never
forget that night! Myself, another woman and seven guys! I was in awe
when they were tying each other to suspension pulleys, an examing
table, and the first Saint Andrews cross I'd ever seen! The teasing and
tormenting by todays standards was quite simple, no ten's units, no 16
plait signal whips, no needles, honestly, just a few vibrators and
toys!

I remember being scared to death, and incredibly excited
the entire night! I felt connected! Finally, I wasn't the only kinky
pervert! What a life changing event!

My new found comfort
carried over to a few short term relationships in the next couple of
years. Unfortunately, I finished out the 80s and early 90's in two
consecutive vanilla multi-year relationships.

Having felt alone
with my kinks, at the end of the second vanilla relationship, I vowed
to not go into a relationship without BDSM being a common factor.
Several short term relationships, the introduction of the internet,
spending time in Boston with other like minded kinksters, and my own
natural creativity helped me move along the learning curve quite
rapidly!

Since that time I've lived to my vow. No vanilla partners!

I confess that my view of BDSM has changed completely in the past two decades.

I
remember so clearly when having a new toy felt like it made me kinkier.
Yes learning mummification, rope tricks, whip control, needle play,
suspension all are great skills. But I don't feel that it's the skills
or the toys that make me better.

I do, however recognize deep
within side me is a control gene. The same one that I had at the age of
9 while tying up the 'boy down the street'.

I remember at the end
of the first long term vanilla relationship, having a serious
conversation with my partner. When I said, quite sincerely that I
wanted slaves, I was immediately told I was sick and don't ever let
anyone hear me talking that way! I honestly, felt completely at ease
with my desire. That was about the eighteenth nail in the coffin of
that relationship!

I don't self define as a bondage queen, needle
nut, cane commando, or pain princess! I can do all of those quite well.
But, my single tail prowess is not me entirely.

What makes me
flourish is being in control. From simple tasks such as appearance,
sleep habits, self esteem, to holding the end of the rope that will
either release you or tighten you, as I see fit.

If you have
the need to find the depths of who you are, not just wanting to try,
this pain trick or that new latex, then I will certainly love crawling
into your being to dig out the truest of you!