**Oct 2008 Update - I have found the submissive counterpart to my Dominance. While still very new, I'm focusing my time and energy in his direction to see where this path of exploration takes us. In other words, I'm not in "search mode" at this time, but will try to respond to respectful, signed emails.
~Sthrn
Honorably served by OttersSwim
Experienced Poly Domme seeking a submissive or curious man who sincerely wishes to serve. Polite and respectful inquiries welcome. Prefer local to Fort Collins/Denver area.. Open-mindedness required. You should be a NON-smoker. This is not negotiable!
About Me –I discovered the BDSM lifestyle about 11 years ago. I am technically married, but emotionally single. We no longer live together and it’s just a matter of sorting out the finances and filing the paperwork. We are amicable, and although he knows, he does not share my lifestyle interests. I was originally attracted to BDSM as a submissive, but over time and emotionally-complex life lessons, have come to embrace my Sadistic Dominant nature. I understand your strong desire to be pleasing and inspire happiness in Another through service and suffering. Your willingness to obey and offer yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally is a HUGE sexual turn-on for me, when we combine that with mutual admiration and respect.
To me polyamory is about letting a relationship develop naturally and to its fullest potential. "Relationship for me implies personal, emotional and spiritual intimacy as well as the physical." I do not consider myself a 'swinger' because it’s rare (if ever) that my sexual desires are the influential aspect of my decision-making process.
Mutual Energetic Vibrational Chemistry is the Inspiration for ongoing connection. If you, too, are experienced with massage or energy work, that's a bonus.
I am always seeking self-improvement and insight. I get along best with others of similar character. Seeing the benefits of Ruiz's 4 Agreements, I try to A) be impeccable with my word, B) not take things personally, C) not assume, and D) always do my best.
Knowledge is power, and security is having faith (in yourself); that you can be flexible and handle whatever life tosses your way. I am a firm believer of personal choice, responsibility and accountability. We are where we are, by our own choices.
I have a bit of a sadistic streak, and am very 'hands-on'. "Touch" is my primary language. I take the responsibility for my submissives’ health and well-being (physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually) as a serious commitment. That doesn’t mean I’m a mind reader, nor does it relieve you of your similar responsibility to me. We are Yin and Yang; opposite sides of the same coin. We embrace, support and enhance each other’s experiences.
I’m a skilled communicator. I recognize the necessity of being proactively open and honest. (even when the situation is uncomfortable and difficult). I also recognize the responsibility of being a good listener. After all, it’s hard for someone to communicate with you, if you aren’t receptive, or respond with blame and accusations. I’m very emotionally grounded and able to maintain open dialogue under the most stressful of situations. This was a skill acquired by completing a tumultuous ‘trial by fire’. Ultimately it was one of the most liberating experiences of my life. I seek soul connections with those on a similar path.
Submission is not a passive activity; your realization of the desire to please Me will be a delightful awakening. I understand that respect is earned, but I do not waste my time engaging in power struggles. I will not "over power you", but Revel in your voluntary submission. Your ability to 'suffer beautifully' for Me, is an active talent which I truly appreciate. Your first priority when we are together should be mindfulness of my pleasure. This does not mean you don't have your own opinions. Together we will create our own, unique experience.
Sometimes I like to Drive, sometimes I like to be chauffeured...you should be capable of pleasing Me (or at least make a valiant attempt) without being micromanaged every second. Your creative service will be rewarded!
From a physical perspective I have dangerous curves. I am not a BBW; but in no way resemble a stick. Think Marilyn Monroe's hourglass figure and you've got the picture! I'm also now a red head so the darker hair pics are more recent. I'll be updating the primary photo soon. I'm happy to TRADE pics with those who capture My interest
I also can and do appreciate discretion. I have been in healthcare for almost 20 years, but yes, I did start at a young age. :) I have furry children which affords Me great freedom in a very nice home. While I can cook, I prefer to go out, so if you can't be out in public with Me, your availability is probably compromised.
While I enjoy many of the basic tools used for sensory deprivation, restraint and attention focusing, I also love personal service and worship. Foot massage is on the top of My list, so this should be something you enjoy giving. Your offer of service, without expectation of a sexual reward tells me a lot about you.
If you believe I am describing you in the paragraph below, I look forward to your email.
What I seek...
You are probably a 'switchy' personality. You are probably the 'in charge' guy in most aspects of your life. You are strong and confident; but know you aren’t perfect. You take self-improvement very seriously, but can laugh at yourself and appreciate that you occasionally stumble. You should be striving to be present inside yourself; knowing and owning how you feel, and have an idea of what you want. You have the confidence to put your hands in a Woman's hair and kiss her till she melts; then be able to turn around and offer your limbs for Her restraints. (Preferably with a warm, seductive smile and open heart) I don’t feel this takes any power away from Me, in the least. Just the opposite; it shows Me you are consciously choosing to give Me control, and that is heady indeed.
You are honest and sincere. While you don't have all the answers, you are ok with saying, "I don't know". You are willing to look deep within yourself, and you understand life is a never-ending journey. You aren't perfect, but you do have an interest in on-going self improvement.
Polyamory, like BDSM, is emotionally complex, and should not be under-taken by everyone. I don't consider a hard-on a symbol of 'personal growth' and you shouldn't either.
You love pets, books, and probably a good glass of wine. You have an appreciation of nature, the outdoors, and music of many types. Your friends might even call you an audiophile. You can hold an intelligent conversation, and insist upon proper spelling. Lengthy, in depth conversations, on the topics of politics and /or religion are not required.
If you are married, or in a relationship that any party could consider "exclusive" think very carefully, we all have jobs and life responsibilities; however, an over-estimation of your availability is not fair to any involved. I would like your SO to know about our involvement, as I have no desire to be an accomplice in creating distress in another person. Likewise, if you are a workaholic, you might be better suited as a 'play partner' or Friend With Benefits.
Your looks are not as important to me as your overall mental health and well being. If you spend more time thinking with the head below your waist, than the head on your shoulders, we probably are not compatible.
If you are willing to explore, I'd like to know you. Your level of experience with power exchange is not important. While I don't like to place limits on such things as long distance, you must admit it takes a lot more time and energy which is currently very challenging for me. I have no interest in expending my energy for an ‘online only’ interaction. Likewise, if you can’t sign your name when contacting me, I’ll likely ignore your contact attempts. I'm not ruling it out totally, but my priority is given to those who live within 150 miles.
VERY IMPORTANT: You have an adventuresome spirit and don't necessarily opt for the road easily traveled. You are willing to open the door and look beyond the box of Life as you know it. Truth and honesty are never more important than when dealing with high emotions. You realize that it's easiest to communicate when all is going well, but when the fog temporarily rolls in, you're willing to put in the time and effort to discover hidden parts of yourself, and share in the intense closeness only such a Journey can bring.
Each day is an Opportunity for Growth....don't waste it! Come; let us see what life adventure awaits us :)
