No Longer Looking.....
Just here browsing, reading the forums, and keeping in touch with friends. I've left my original profile intact below just in in case one day I decide to return to my search.
First, a few reflections about me, my life, and some of the things I've learned since my start in the world of BDSM. These reflections are about me, how I see myself, how D/s fits into my life, and what I think about it.
I'll start with the conclusion: being a submissive is something I do, it is a part of who I am, but it's not all of who I am. There's a lot more to me than being submissive.
What do I mean by this? Simply put, I do not define myself by my willingness to submit. That willingness is something I choose to do, with the right man, on the terms that we negotiate together as consenting adults.
I don't spend my entire day thinking about D/s. I don't fantasize about submitting to everyone I meet. I don't worry about if I'm a good subby, or this type of subby, or that. I could care less about fitting anyone's definition of a "good sub" except the definition set down by myself and my significant other.
I do not value myself based on a desire for submission. My value as a human being is not tied to being a sub, but rather my worth to society, the contributions I make to the lives of others on both a local and world wide level. It is not linked to things like the number of scenes I've been involved or not been involved in or the amount of pain I'm willing to take (in my opinion with all the beauty and wonder in the world, these seem rather ridiculous things to place any significant amount of value on).
I do not live to make one smile... I choose to make my partner smile because it brings us both pleasure. However, his smile does not validate my existence.
I will never confuse the touch of a stranger's hand with love... and given the choice I will always choose love.
I feel no overwhelming need to socialize in "BDSM-land" because I choose to be a submissive. I have made some good friends through this site and others... amazing people who happen to be doms, subs, or switches... but they are my friends because we share world views, hobbies, personality traits, and so on. These things bring us together far beyond a simple liking for kinky sex. If my only point of compatibility with someone is that we both like being spanked or choked, then our time spent together will be short.
Again, D/s is an aspect of my life... not my whole life.
And perhaps most importantly: If you are broken, D/s will not fix you.
Moving on from my views to more detailed information about me and what I am seeking...
I am a shy submissive in Northern VA. I am here seeking my perfect match, someone with whom I can relate and share common interests both within this lifestyle and in the vanilla world, someone who is my equal in general and a dominant man in the bedroom.
I am searching for someone who is the perfect gentleman in public, attractive, intelligent, and dependable. Someone who can respect me for who I am, who can enjoy time with me and my friends, who is capable of holding a long term relationship, and who at appropriate times shares an interest in the world of BDSM.
I don't mind traveling a bit for the right person (within reason - a few hours drive), as long as they are willing and able to reciprocate. I do keep a busy schedule but I am willing to make time for the right person.
I am looking for more than someone to play with on occassion... I am very serious about finding someone I can really share this with.
I am very shy when it comes to any intimate topic and even more so when you throw anything remotely BDSM oriented into the mix, so I hope to find someone who is patient, yet stern when appropriate, and who is up for a serious challenge. A mutual physical attraction is very important to me. I consider myself to be an attractive person and I do have pictures to share with someone I have a potential interest in getting to know.
I am looking for someone who is experienced but isn't completely out of my age range... my age limit would have to be around 34-35. I would like to find someone who is at least close to my height or taller, there is some flexibility in that for the right person.
This is a very private part of my life and as such, I would be thrilled to meet someone with this interest, with whom I also share other interests, who also can be 'normal' on a day to day basis, someone who I could bring around friends or maybe go out on a date with and no one would have any idea.
Ultimately, I would like to develop a relationship with a man of fitting the above description. I do have vanilla values about relationships. I believe "vanilla" is the base for all other flavors in this world & no matter how into this you may be, you still need mutual trust, respect, attraction and friendship for anything to work between two people, maybe even more so in this situation.
I am not looking for 24/7 D/s relationship. I do enjoy giving up power and control during intimate play-time, but I do not need or want someone to have total control every moment of the day; I am a very responsible, independent, take charge person in my day to day life.
I’m looking to meet a man who is sure of himself, caring, attractive, intelligent, and honest. If you're interested in getting to know more about me feel free to send me a message and we'll go from there.
One last note ... PLEASE DO NOT WASTE MY TIME OR YOURS IF YOU ARE NO WHERE NEAR THE AGE CRITERIA MENTIONED HERE, IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO IS INTERESTED IN 24/7 TPE, OR IF YOU JUST WANT TO FIND SOMEONE TO PLAY WITH FOR A NIGHT. |
