"Sometimes you just have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down."
-Kobi Yamada
I am very submissive, extremely so sexually. And am probably a slave at heart. This does not mean I wish to live in a cage 24/7 with no rights. It means I need to be owned. It means I need to commit myself to a man I love and adore, worshipping him with all my devotion and admiration. In return I need to be guided, protected, and loved. I want a committed relationship, in which I take care of my man, and he takes care of me.
My submission comes from my heart, not necessarily from the end of a whip. Not to say I don't like whips, but my incentive to obey and to serve does not come from punishment but rather respect, admiration, and love. When I love someone, I am very worshipful and giving of all that I am.
I need a dominant man like I need air to breathe. I am capable of getting by in the world, but I do not thrive when on my own. When I was young I wanted a career and independence, etc, so I proceeded to get a Master's Degree (ironic, eh?). However, once out in the dog-eat-dog world, I soon realised that I am not cut out for that. While I like to have my own projects and am not strictly a 50's household type of gal, I am much better suited to keeping the home fires burning. I don't have the qualities necessary to have a successful career, ie, leadership, competetiveness, ability to wheel and deal, etc. I am more of a follower and mold myself to some extent to the man I am following.
I am not a fantasist, I have actually been in a relatively long-term d/s relationship. I have seen a glimpse of the depths of my submission, and it's very intense. It is also very personal to me and I do not play casually. In fact, for me, d/s encounters aren't "playing" at all. It's just a natural way of interacting. It seems artificial to schedule "play" time. That's like saying, "I've looked at my diary, yes, I'm free, let's get together on Tuesday at 8:00 and have a shag." Obviously people schedule dates, etc, but being vanilla throughout your every day life and then suddenly having kinky time strikes me as odd.
Anyway....
I know there is fire in my soul bursting to be liberated. I never felt so free as when I was owned. It feels that without the right dominant man in my life to express my submission with, my life is sort of fake, or less than it should be. I am not happy nor fully alive.
I'm still waiting for the universe to cross my path with the man I am meant to be with.
They say that when the student is ready the teacher will come. I think this student is ready.
Hopefully my teacher will come in the form of a tall, distinguished, powerful, charismatic beast.
Please be 40'ish, single, straight, non-switch, cultured, and serious about d/s, not just looking for kinky sex or role play. I need a man who is naturally dominant, in whom dominance is an integral part of his personality and who has experience. Not necessarily technical experience of how to wield a whip, etc, (though that is nice too), but experience being in a d/s relationship and of managing a submissive. It isn't always smooth sailing and it isn't just about kinky sex. An experienced dom will know this. I appreciate that newbies have to start somewhere, but I am past the newbie phase and need an experienced dom. Besides, if someone is just now discovering this sort of life, then it isn't in his blood, and that's what I need.
The corset pic is from 2 years ago. I've gained some weight since then, so a little chunkier now.
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